ALOPECIA

[Wonderstar]

HI

I am mum of a 15 Yr old lad who has suddenly developed Alopecia, just before going back to school. He has large patches of baldness which he is struggling to cope with emotionally. We are trying a steroid cream from GP & awaiting a Dermologist appt. Any similar experiences or guidance on how to support him best i would appreciate.

[SamChangingFaces Partner]

Hello Wonderstar and welcome to the Changing Faces community. Thank you for getting in touch and sharing about your son's situation. It is great that you are reaching out to people here - and hopefully you get information and support you are asking for from our friendly forum.

All the best and take care, Sam

[Blondebombsite]

Hello Wonderstar,Sorry to hear that you’re both going through that. I’m a woman who’s also developed alopecia in the last few months, I’m sure mine is stress related.

I’m using Regaine for women but it takes at least 3 months to start working so I can really identify with your son’s alarm and distress.

There are lots of different treatments nowadays, so I’m sure the dermatologist will find something that works for him. In the meantime I think the general advice is that the shorter you can keep his hair, the less noticeable the patches of hair loss will be. Not easy when hairdressers are closed I know, but I’ve recently bought a set of hair clippers for my husband and was surprised at how easy they were to use. Also a lot of well known brands do hair make up products, colour sprays or brush on make up, eg Color WOW. Maybe he will let you apply those as a temporary measure.

All the best for you and your son x

[Wonderstar in reply to Blondebombsite]

Hi Thank you so much for your advice. I am trying to persuade him to haveca trim on the parts hair that are bit long still so it doesn't look as obvious but he isn't to keen at present .its very hard as his self esteem on the ground and kids can be cruel to. Take care and hope you have a treatment that helps to x

[WhatAnna]

I was forced by my mom to keep going to school. It has traumatized me for life. My advice is to limit contacts with society to only the ones which your son is very explicitly consenting to without being manipulated. If he says he'll go to school to please you or anyone else it is bad. It's an advantage if your son's alopecia have only started, maybe trauma is not as severe yet. It's not okay when people stare, abuse, laugh. He should not be in this environment. If your son is young he might have problems with understanding what he want in this situation and understanding his emotions. It's okay for the age, but it can lead to a very traumatic decisions. That's why he absolutely needs a very good therapist. Maybe couple of them at the start so he could choose. When I understood how utterly traumatic the society became for me it was already too late, damage had been done, I have severe CPTSD. Imagine that the air suddenly got poisonous and you don't have the time to learn how to avoid the poison. That's your son in the society right now. Society opresses people with visible differences more than anyone else. We are casually dehumanized. It is very very bad. Have you seen a movie where person with visible difference is not a villan? That's what society thinks of us. That we somehow deserve it, that we're like that because we're bad. Really helps abusers sleep at night. Mass media enables it.

[Hidden in reply to WhatAnna]

Hello WhatAnna and welcome to the community. I'm very sorry to hear about your experience and the impact it has had on you especially as you say it has traumatised you for life. It sounds like things have really been tough for you. At the same time people's experience in society may vary and there are strategies that can help with coping with other people's reaction....we have some self-help guides on the subject which can be found here changingfaces.org.uk/advice....

We also recognise that there needs to be change in societal attitudes which is a big part of the work we do at Changing Faces. For example we have our "I am not your villain" campaign which calls on those in the film industry to stop using scars, burns or marks as a shorthand for villainy.

Thanks for sharing your thoughts here, wishing you all the best and I hope you're able to get the support you need for your CPTSD.

Take care,

Tiffany

[Vinnieplagio]

I had male pattern baldness at the same age so i know how he feels. It was rather difficult because i was alternative ( long emo hair in bright colors) the problem is not the hair.,its mostly an identity problem and lack of control on how you look. The diffrence between being overweigted and having baldness is that you cant fix baldness sadly but you can make it look better by gaining muscle when he grows older or even having a tattoo or a wig if hes open for that.