Facial asymmetry. Can everyone see i look like this?

[evegp]

Hi, I suffer from ecds a connective tissue disorder that causes a scar-like depression on my forehead sadly I have a new plaque on my nose and I have started to notice the left side of my face to be smaller and uneven. I don't remember myself looking like this before and I look slightly less asymmetrical whenever I take a selfie. Also, my top lip looks extremely uneven and I don't really know why. This is taking a toll on me and I can't get any cosmetic procedure done at the moment due to this being an autoimmune disease so I have a risk of having a flare and more involvement, does anyone has gone through a similar issue and how have you deal with it? I feel really alone and desperate

[Hidden]

Hi evegp, welcome to the forum and thank you for sharing your story with us. I'm sorry to hear how difficult things are for you right now - it sounds like your feelings about your appearance are making you feel really distressed and lonely, and that's on top of isolation or anxiety you might already be experiencing because of the pandemic. It's great you're reaching out to talk about it.

If you're based in the UK and would like to get emotional support around living with a visible difference, please feel free to get in touch with us to talk. You can find out more about what we offer here: changingfaces.org.uk/advice....

I also wanted to mention, in case it helps you or anyone else reading this, that close-range photographs and selfies can often play tricks on us and provide a distorted image. Forced perspective can make things look bigger or smaller than they really are, and that can be alarming if you rely on cameras to show you what you 'really' look like! We're not affiliated with this photography studio, but they've got an article which talks more about this and has some pictures illustrating what I mean: oohstloustudios.com/the-sci....

I hope this has been helpful. Take care.

[evegp in reply to Hidden]

Hi thanks for taking the time to answer my question. I'm going through a lot right now but I'm not based in the UK. I'm hoping I can find some help in my country but we don't have a community or a safe space like this that I have heard of and I would definitely read the article

[Lino1]

Hello, how are you? Just know you're not alone. Tell me if you need to talk.

[evegp in reply to Lino1]

Hi lino thanks for answering I'm feeling just a little better since I accepted that I may need some professional help but I would love to talk with someone that may be going through a similar situation.

[cortez]

Hi, Evegp.

I'm sorry you are suffering so much. I can relate to you on some level. I was born with a visible difference (I love that we are all encouraged to use the words 'visible difference' instead of 'disfigurement' - Such an ugly word to me). My face is not as symmetrical as the 'average' person and the emotional stress it had caused me was exhausting, which of course left me feeling depressed, isolated and having suicidal thoughts. I had a few surgeries to help 'correct' my visible difference, but I was unlucky to have a surgeon who made my face even more asymmetrical. This left me with so much anger. I decided at the age of 23 to stop having surgeries and concentrate on healing my mind and body, and redirect my focus on accepting my appearance. I realised whenever 'life' was stressing me out, I would look at my face and see 'ugliness', hence wanting another surgery. I challenged my thoughts. Sorry, I'm waffling on...!

My point was to say about taking selfies. I was so disturbed by having my photos taken, as I would look quite symmetrical at times and then other times I would look very asymmetrical. It was very confusing and depressing, and I wondered what was the 'truth'. When I was young, I remember looking at an 'average' person in the mirror who was looking at themselves in the mirror and I noticed their reflection was slightly asymmetrical. I then realised that cameras have different lenses and our appearances in photos can be distorted by light and make-up. Also, I learned that depending how I was feeling, that this had an impact on how I looked and also how I perceived myself on and off camera. I hope this helps you in some little way. I still suffer when I look at photos but I think clearly without emotion and see that actually I'm quite attractive. Negative thinking is a b*tch. CBT may help you.

When I look at the selfie you've uploaded, I can see a very faint scar on your forehead, but I had to really search your face to see it. What is a patch/plague? The only thing I notice about your lips is that they are even and a nice size. My top lip is almost non-existent! Also, I've noticed with these 'better' quality cameras, especially phone cameras, that they bring out the 'worst' bits of us. Maybe that's just my perception, as I'm not a fan of change 😄.

I hope you are feeling better about your appearance. Life is too short and precious to overly focus on our external appearance. Worrying about the future doesn't help either. I hope I haven't come across as patronising or over the top.

BTW, Changing Faces is a fantastic organisation. I discovered they existed when I was a teenager. The isolation began to lift when I attended a few counselling sessions and 2 group sessions. It's not easy to reach out and ask for help. I remember finding it incredibly scary and overwhelming. Listen to your instincts. Having a forum like this is great and creates a safe space to share. I'm usually a closed book when it comes to talking about this stuff, but your message has played on my mind since I read it. I'm sorry you don't have a support network like this in your country that you know of. Keep it real and respect 😉.

Look after yourself x

[Carlat28]

Hi evegpgp,I also have a facial disfigurement that involves my lips . My upper lip is uneven a and sags in the corner on one side. I have worked most my life and have tried not to let it bother me, but of course there are people who remind me of it . This makes me feel ashamed of my appearance, I have tried to get this corrected but have had no success. So, I deal with it the best way I can. I ignore people that are cruel and try to make my self happy to be alive. Always thanking God for his goodness.

[Hidden in reply to Carlat28]

Hi Carlat28,

Firstly, welcome to the forum!

Just to make you ware, this particular thread is quite old. In fact its 3 years old.

Why not start a new thread and tell us more about your story? It will come straight to the top of the pile. Then, because its new, more folks who may relate to you will see it.

With the best of wishes to you.