I still have my bad days but if I'm being honest? I'm a lot more mentally stable then I was the start if 2018. Before then I used to hide in my house, not wanting to see my friends or family because I had in my mind I looked hideous.
But i think after getting over that shock of my face and getting stares, I've decided to live again. I'm now doing a drama work experience at this school by working behind the scenes in their musical production and for the first time I travelled to London and back BY myself!
I built up in my mind the worse was going to happen and I was going to get heckled in the street or something, but everything so far has been 100% fine!
I now try meditation and affirmations apps to ensure I remeber that I am beautiful, confident and strong... So whenever I go out in public the stares dont bother me as much cause I have worked extra hard on these exercises so that me feeling panicked or anxiety doesn't happen.
That's not to say I don't have my off days because I do (and I'm sure everyone who is human does) , but it's a million times better then before ❤️
I'm beginning to feel that no matter how much I discuss it, nothing will ever really change. I still have to face stares and public reactions. I had surgery and it improved my self esteem but it hasn't changed people being uncomfortable around me or treating me like an outsider.
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