Deformed Appearance

[Jayxsb]

Hey everyone , thought I'd share my experiences of kind of having to deal with life on a day to day basis while standing out in the most unusual way. Well I'm only 17 now and up until I was about barely 13 i had to deal with alot of judgement. My ears are completely opposites, my left ear is really big and points out like an elf while my left ear is really small and bent backwards (Total opposite). Also my left ear is lifted more upwards to my face than my right ear is. I honestly don't know why it is , or how it happened but nothing really happened until late 7th grade where it definitely caught attention more than ever before. Not to mention during the same time my nose had changed from normal sized to really big and crooked with a bump. Yea puberty didn't do me so swell lol, but anyways did i forget to mention I have a really big head with a really really skinny body? While 5'3 male. Anyways my life before 13 was pretty smooth and normal as any other kid would live life, if anything I got treated alot more better before puberty. I attracted more girl's and friends and wasn't mistreated in anyway. From 8th grade to now almost entering my senior year of hs, life hasn't done me so well , I've had girl's pass by me laughing, telling me I look funny, or simply just look at me confused. Guys on the other hand is something different, alot of guys are cool w me and accept me while some simply choose to not like me bc of my appearance. He'll I've even had teachers/ staff really make me feel unwelcomed. Honestly everywhere I go i can't escape these reactions which I completely understand but just isn't fun especially now that I'm getting older and entering adult life. Overall I actually appreciate life and all it brings, only problem I have is the outside world/society being so heavily strong it feels like it's almost impossible to beat it. Being in a classroom or any social event makes me super uncomfortable knowing ppl are most likely staring at the back of me just observing my appearance. Again I don't blame anybody, even I don't approve of my appearance. Anyways ik this sounds kinda all over the place but I just wanted to see what others have in mind for any type of advice, since I kinda don't like getting words from people who never really had to deal with insecurites to the point where it takes over your mind. Also school is around the corner and I really don't know how everything is gonna turn out but going day by day , same cycle after cycle, really puts me down knowing my life is just negative occurrence overandover but doing my best to still be grateful for the things in my life , ik others have it way tougher but anything would help if you understand where I'm coming from. Thank you for your time & stay blessed everyone! (:

[MTTA]

I’m sorry these should be the best days of your life. Have you considered corrective surgery for your ears? Can you use your hair longer so it covers more your ears or forehead?

[Jayxsb in reply to MTTA]

Yea but I'm not sure how much it'll cost or how the whole entire thing would work in general. So I can't consider tht rn but yea I've had long hair for about a year and a half & I got tired of having the hair in my way, also I can't have long hair forever so Its something i simply have to face for the better instead of relying on something to hide my true self. Thank you for responding tho, I appreciate it.