I'm new and looking for advice on coping emotionally with a very large lump on my neck.

[canadianvisitor]

Hello all,

Over a year ago, I developed an egg-sized lump on the side of my neck which has since grown to be bigger than a grapefruit protruding from my neck and collarbone. I've seen a specialist who said it was a harmless post-traumatic seroma from a very minor sports injury and I've since had an unsuccessful bleomycin treatment. I'm waiting on a second treatment, but I don't know if it'll many more months. In the meantime, I feel like my confidence has taken a nose-dive. It took 8 months of waiting before I got treated, and I just want to be happy in my appearance while I wait for the next step.

I have long hair that I use to try and cover my neck because it's very noticeable regardless of what kind of top I wear. I just can't bring myself to go out in public without carefully arranging my hair and always feeling nervous and uncomfortable. I want to go on dates and meet people, but I don't know how to find the strength to face this head-on. I never considered myself to be vain, but I want to cry anytime someone stares at me or asks uncomfortable questions about my appearance.

How can I stop putting things on hold and go on with my life?

[plk1970]

With so many people on this forum who have had to deal with a changed appearance, they have found being outside or in public a challenge. The nature of their altered appearance has been many and varied. What you describe does sound difficult to conceal, so it really depends on how strong you feel as a person to face the world with the lump that you describe. The one thing that is emerging here in everyone's description of their altered appearance, is that they care more about the change than most other people do. In other words, negatively judging their own appearance and therefore having experiences in the outside world that reflects how they view themselves. You might find that, with a few exceptions, most people are not going to judge you negatively, although they may take a second look at you. That said I hope that you are treated for this condition asap so that you can live your life with greater ease.