Daughter caring for mother: I am hoping that... - Care Community

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Daughter caring for mother

Terbuck48 profile image

I am hoping that someone can relate to my story and share with me. My mom is 95yr!!! She has been right me for 25 of those yrs!! I married 18yr ago and he is an angel but got a dual pkg! He takes care of mom with me. She doesn,t do anything except dress and straighten bed. We do and have always done all laundry! Meds food drs. Showers pedi mani. She is actually in better health than we are! But just stopped wanting to do any thing else. She does not show us the respect or appreciations we deserve and be quite snippy on some days and like our dr says. Leave the room and I so. Along with all that my husband had colon cancer and we made it through. Pls reply I'd you can relate!thanks to all

3 Replies

Hi, I really feel for you. It's so hard caring for someone who doesn't really appreciate it. Your mum.seems to be getting a five star service and you get all the stress, no wonder she is doing so well. So sorry to hear of your husband's illness. It must have been so tough going through that whilst caring for your mum.

Is there anyway other family could help so that you can both have a bit of respite? Could you get carers in for some of the time to give you break?

I helped look after my dad and he became very selfish and did not appreciate the care we were giving towards the end of his life. It was a bit easier to take because it was because of his neurological condition that had changed his personality. Even so, we managed to get some respite for my mum who was his main carer. It allowed her to recharge her batteries and focus on looking after herself for a while.

Sending you lots of love and strength.

Callendersgal profile image
CallendersgalAdministrator

Hi Terbuck48, I can relate to your story of your mother's attitude towards you, after all that you do for her. That's soul-destroying, and it must be so hard now with your husbands diagnosis too.Sadly it seems that many of us can't help but become unpleasant as we reach our final years and I'd only say that it's probably as much mother nature's fault as it is your mum's.

If you can try to overlook her 'snippiness' and ingratitude and just do it, it may help a little.

I'm pretty sure that, underneath it all she's so grateful to have the two of you. She's just forgotten in her extreme old age the virtues of gratitude and consideration.

One day when all of this is behind you, you'll actually feel really good that you've done the right thing, even when sometimes it was really an effort. Hang in there if you can, but don't neglect yourselves in favour of her care. You too have your needs!

Please do drop in here from time to time and let us know how you are doing. I'm sure there are lots of us who understand pretty much how you are feeling about all of this! Take care!

Well done for getting through the cancer.Sadly careers are often taken for granted,as you are.xx

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