sassy59Ambassador

What a very thought provoking post secrets. As you say mental health issues hold no boundaries and can affect anyone at any time.

Our youngest son suffers depression and addiction so has moved back home for now. He’s not so isolated now but hasn’t managed to find any work yet although he’s been trying.

I think animals are such brilliant companions and yes, lifesavers. They have to be cared for, loved, exercised, fed etc. so they help focus the mind. I’m pleased you have such wonderful companions and are well supported.

Always good to hear from you. Take care xxxx

secrets22 in reply to sassy59

sassy59 thankyou for your kind words,and i feel concern for your son as mental illness in a male was once frowned on,but i believe males now suffer with depression much more than females,and far more take their own life.Its tough to see a loved one struggling,and my thoughts are with you,its far from easy.xx

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sassy59Ambassador in reply to secrets22

Thank you for your kind, supportive reply. I really do appreciate it. I’m just pleased our son is here now rather than on his own and we’re keeping a close eye on him. I just wish he could find a job.

Wishing you well. Xxx😘

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CallendersgalAdministrator

Hi secrets22.

This is such a lovely supportive and heartfelt post, and you are absolutely right about how many people hide their inner feelings, and yet we can all suffer degrees of mental health disorders.

It's encouraging that we can now talk about this, just as we have learned to open up about physical diseases. I remember how, once, it was not the thing to do to admit to having cancer, for example.

I don't mind saying in the slightest that I fought and won a battle with clinical depression some years ago, and it went on for literally years. For some it is a life-long condition which needs to be managed, not cured.

Even when you say you manage to 'put a brave face on things', it's important to remember that many people we come into contact with each day, are doing that, but that underlying it is despair. That's how suicide happens.

There's absolutely no shame in depression. It doesn't mean you are weak, or that you can't cope as others do. It's not 'feeling fed up' and of no help being told to 'snap out of it'.

Really august people such as our current royals and Sir Winston Churchill suffered from it. I remember reading that Churchill referred to his as his 'black dog'.

Thanks again, so much, for posting this. It will help support many people who are feeling as you have felt.

Take care and good to hear from you.🌷🌷🌺🌺

secrets22 in reply to Callendersgal

Thankyou so much for your much valued thoughts,and people should not be fearful in expressing their innermost thoughts of depression,it is not weakness ,it is the scourge of the age and has overtaken many other serious illnesses.

And as you say,it is managing this cruel illness,even if no cure.

thankyou.x

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catgirl1976

Cats are lifesavers as well!

Last month when I heard about the local lockdowns I had become ever so upset over cancelled events and one of my friends had said to me not to be afraid of reaching out to the doctors if I couldn't cope and not to be afraid to use them when I need them and how they are there to help those in psychological distress as well as the physically unwell.

I am OK now as time has gone by but those things had felt like a smack in the face when I first heard them but what I can do is turn the disappointments over the cancelled things into appointments by looking at what new things have come up due to the disappointment and go from there.

In a couple of weeks its my birthday and I had wanted to have gone away for the weekend but it won't be possible now and I was disappointed when I first found out but now I have decided to turn it into an appointment and use it as an opportunity to visit a Lebanese restaurant I have wanted to try for ages and be thankful we won't have to wear those wretched masks as we would have if the weekend away had gone ahead whilst out and about and we have saved money as well by not going.

When these disappointments strike they always feel like the end of the world but what you can do is turn them into appointments!

FlowerPreciousLover in reply to catgirl1976

Good for you, Catgirl, in turning your disappointments into new opportunities.

Years ago, when my daughter was very small, I had to share her with her dad on holidays. With no nearby relatives, I early decided that I had two choices: could grieve and hold a pity party for myself or could find ways to reward and "party" on my own.

I chose the latter and have become very adept at celebrating alone holidays. Special meals with candles & wine; watching a favorite movie; binging on a novel read; getting lost in a hobby...etc

Disappointments come to us all. How we choose to adapt to them is up to us.

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secrets22 in reply to FlowerPreciousLover

What an inspiring comment ..thank you so much.

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Daisy55

Animals are real life savers on so many levels , they have helped me through many a trauma both physically and mentally . ‘Its good to talk ‘ is such a perfect sentence , so many males feel still they must not show emotion , yet it is so vitally important to seek help . You express it all perfectly secrets22 . I have had cats , dogs, rabbits and guinea pigs , and each one has been the perfect companion . My one remaining cat has been a lifeline for my palliative husband and myself during these present times . May your dogs long be your life companions x

FlowerPreciousLover

Thanks for this post, Secrets. So well said!