A Taste Of Dementia & Alzheimer’s ... Incon... - Care Community

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A Taste Of Dementia & Alzheimer’s ... Inconsolable

13 Replies

In all my years of son and career NEVER in life did I ever imagen I would hear my dad otter the words.

I WANT MY MUM & DAD

Truly Heartbroken Braking and just shows us WHAT pain suffering fright Alzheimer’s Dementia suffers go through.

I guess that’s why am sharing AS given the fear fright suffer THEY deserve so much better from society as a hole in form of care understanding compassion empathy and respect given terror clearly facing.

As I know to well how I felt when I wanted my mum and dad when something bad terable had happened AND am sure lot of others would agree on how they felt when they did too.

And do Alzheimer’s Dementia suffers complain NO they just ware It ... so unconstitutional even criminal.

The least and less likely to complain YET the worst to suffer treated WERE’s the justice in that

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13 Replies
sassy59 profile image
sassy59

There is no justice JAS and we all have a lot to learn about Alzheimer’s. It’s heartbreaking to see a loved one suffer and I recall my late mother in law speaking about her mother and other family members as if they were with her.

You take care. Thinking of you and your dad. Xxxx

MAS_Nurse profile image
MAS_Nurse

Hi Jeff, hope we can call you that as the full title is so formal and you need anything bar formal at present. My reaction was to say to you when he says those words 'I want my Mum and Dad' is to give him a big hug. I am not saying this as a nurse but as someone who nursed her Father in law for many years with the mind debilitating illness. If frightened what would you want - someone to hug you and take away the hurt and fright.

Does he like music or poetry - maybe a few words of comfort from you or a song together sang quietly may help sooth his mind.

I know this is hard for you and we all feel for you both. I can also hear the anger in your words at the injustice of it all. I think I also know you will keep on fighting on his behalf to get the best possible care you can.

Keep talking with us, does any of our members have anything to add please?

Thinking of you.

MAS Nurse & Moderator.

in reply toMAS_Nurse

Hi Mas_Nurse Is Was Hard Trying To Tell Dad Everthing Was Goung To Be Ok When He Was Asking For He’s Mum Dad.

The only comfort was he knew we was there LIEING to dad I don’t like doing BUT some things have to do SO I save my frustration for those that deserve the sharp end of it.

Lynd profile image
Lynd

It is such a cry from the heart when all our reserves have gone. MY Nan often spoke of her mother not long before she passed. When my husband's brother died twenty years ago my husband cried for their parents who had passed.

It is a very hard thing to hear totally gut wrenching.

in reply toLynd

Made me feel truly sick could feel my heart dropping to my boots when he said that.

Hi JeffAjaxSmith, I share your emotion on hearing this. It brought back memories of my sister crying out for ‘mummy’ over and over again as she neared her last moments with us. I think it strikes your heart forcibly to hear someone who was the strongest adult and role model in your life, suddenly so vulnerable and my heart goes out to both you and your dad. And the picture you chose to post sums up the feeling so beautifully of the feeling of gradual loss. Such a poignant post.

in reply to

Hi Callendersgal did sicken me and Is hard holding back my own anger emotions AT how people like my dad with chronic terminal conditions are treated.

Ad not mind but I don’t want to feel angry but guess it’s that protecting him given he’s so frail vaunrable

SquirrelsHolt profile image
SquirrelsHolt

Morning JAS. Your post has just re-enforced how much we don't know as to the true pain and suffering mentally,let alone all the physical stuff,that dementia/altziema causes. My dear mum also cried out we think for her own mother but as she was unable to speak well,we concluded it sounded so similar to her mum's name. It's torture for you to watch each hour,your dad struggling with everything. I feel for you. I feel for your dad. There's little funding for finding a cure or something to slow the rate of progression of this cruel disease. This needs to change. Stay strong JAS.

in reply toSquirrelsHolt

Hi SquirrelHolt only help I have found over years was groups and others like this talking about there own experiences and ways coped and what to expect.

As to my dad well he’s finally coming home as hospital can’t provide.basic care and wanted to put him in unsuitable environment’s that could cause him harm.

I don’t think dad could cope or survive much more hospital care.

And if anything would of happened to him in there I would always think could I have done more.

I don’t want to be haunted the rest of my life I just want my dad to recive care respect luv deserves

SquirrelsHolt profile image
SquirrelsHolt in reply to

JAS,you are a top man. Look after yourself too though!

in reply to

1 day at time my old friend , all any one can do,, this im learning the hard way,, stay well friend and much love to your mam n dad at this time,, x

irenesbabes profile image
irenesbabes

Hi Jaz I have this problem to ,my Mum is 92 and totally bed bound with dementia and is always calling for her Mum and Dad,my grandparents,she also calls for my Dad who has been gone for25 years now.It so difficult for her to understand and I often sit and cry.Take care.x

secrets22 profile image
secrets22

The unrelenting mental pain of watching our loved ones trauma and mental decline is truly horrifying,and we feel so helpless,and all we can do is give unconditional love.

I do think the greatest suffering is experienced by the carer as the loved ones generally are far removed from the emotional roller coaster that we carers go through.

Unfortunately we live in a very selfish society where those in desperate need are forgotten and are left to their own devices.

In some aspects we are living in a 3rd,or rather 4th world country where dementia care is concerned.

The only difference is that in 3rd world countries,their elderly and desperately ill are revered, and much loved, and cared for by their family.

I have seen unmatched love metered out in many desperately poor far flung countries,it has to be seen to understand their unwavering support and love.

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