Hi all, a few years ago my husband has swelling in legs and was admitted to hospital with liver problems. He drinks about 6 to 8 cans of lager a night. He has always functioned very well. He has been attending a hepatology clinic and always comes home and tells me all is well and won’t let me go with him. He had started sleeping a lot and now his stomach and legs have swollen up, he has sores on his skin and diarrhoea. He gets very annoyed and defensive when I ask him to see a doctor, think he may be scared or in denial. He has now made an appointment for Thursday morning just to shit me up I think. I think he will be told to go straight to A&E. Our eldest daughter is home for the Christmas from America and think he was trying to wait until she went back. All I do is stress and worry about him and don’t sleep as I find I am checking on him all the time. He is 57 and I know it will be hard for him to kick the drink as he has tried and failed before. I don’t bother with alcohol unless out at a family occasion but he drinks at home. I am at my wits end.
Really worried about husband - British Liver Trust
Really worried about husband
I am sorry for you and your situation. I can't think of any practical advice to offer, but please know others are thinking of you and your man. Best wishes to you both.
I am sorry to hear how very worried you are about your Husband's health. Sometimes, when one person in a household is unwell, it can be true to say that there are effectively two patients i.e.; the original patient, plus their (understandably) worried carer.
When such a scenario arises, it is really important that the carer finds support for themselves too (as they may benefit from support in their own right - too reduce mental health and physical health harm to their own personal situation).
Most support services aimed at patients of a particular health challenge do recognise this burden on carers and also signpost support for their carers too.
If you are not already in receipt of support for yourself - maybe it would be worth approaching your GP Practice to explore the appropriate referral / self-referral pathways available to you, in your own right, at this really difficult time.
Wishing you all the best under the circumstances.
Look after yourself, plus hoping you will feel welcome to continue to keep in contact with the group on this forum too.
Firstly I am can certainly empathise/and sympathise, my husband was very much the same and it wasn't until nearly too late that he was taken in hand by a very serious gastro in the A&E here in france who took him into hospital for a week having had 9 litres of fluid drained, basically told him while I was sitting with him that he had cirrhosis and needed a liver transplant he didn't pull any punches and I think that saved my husband as he gave up drinking immediately and go on a strict low/no salt diet if he was going to have any chance he took heed and here we are 12 months later him having had a liver transplant in October (we were very very lucky) I am not going to tell you it was plain sailing it was awful at times especially as the illness kind of took over his physical and mental being and he was in hospital for a very long time last year 16 weeks overall of which 12 were in one stretch.
There is very little you can do other than be there for him and that is the most difficult because it is he who has to do this for himself and know that however bad it gets and on occasions when he is not himself and maybe takes it out on you please just know and tell yourself it is not you and you haven't done anything wrong it is the illness and it can and will get better with time I promise you but there is literally nothing that you can say or do to make him realise and do what is required which is at times a very difficult position to be in.
It is really really important to look after yourself albeit easy to say and quite difficult to do but just taking time out to breath and tell yourself that the man you love will return and that you are ok I found the technique of just standing taking a few deep breaths and holding my heart and saying out loud 'I am ok, I am safe, I am ok' even if it seems daft or unnatural it just calms the mind.
Stay on the forum there are so many wonderful and helpful souls here and those who have gone through the same never feel alone because you aren't and know that others here are hugging you and want the best for you and your husband.
I wish you inward strength to cope and wish you all the very best. Jan xx
Hi, I was pretty much the same as your husband. I ended up in an ambulance and spent a week in hospital. I have cirrhosis. I haven't had a drink since (just over 2 years). Does your husband buy the alcohol himself or does he ask you to get it for him? I was getting my wife to 'nip to the shop' everyday, part of me was hoping she would say no. It's just a thought.
Hi,
Did he have any symptoms over the years before this?
And how many years has he been drinking 6-8 cans per night?
I hope he gets well soon x
Evening all
Up Date on husband.
Another year gone by …..
