1 Year Transplant

[lonmallin50]

Its been one year since my transplant, after 35 years of drink abuse which to be honest i totally enjoyed running my pub and drinking it was a dream that nearly killed me. l cant believe how l feel so well fresh, looking back 3 years they only gave me a few days left to live and come though all that to where i am now is unbelievable i still think how did i make it. To anyone trying to give up the drink with liver disease life is still worth living without drink its a horrible disease to have. I think of my donor everyday and thank her I was thinking of writing to my donors family to say thank you would they like it you think or might they still be upset about the loss im not quite sure what to do. any advice Lon

[Grassroots112]

Hi and that’s amazing that you are a year in, I trust you are doing well, it’s great hearing so many success stories from people who have had a transplant. I can’t tell you whether you should write to the donor’s family or not as it’s a personal choice, if it were me, however, I would, but that’s just me. If it was me who happened to be a donor’s family member, I’d want to learn that my loved one’s organ helped save a life also and would hope that person’s second chance at life is being lived to the fullest and in the right way in honour of my loved one. But again that’s just me. I’d totally understand if someone wouldn’t want to know though. if you do decide to write to your donor’s family, I hope it gets received in the manner intended and it brings some comfort and peace to them and also brings something to yourself. Good luck and take care.

[Confused-one]

If it were my child whose organ had been used I would love to hear that it is having such a positive effect in the world even though she is no longer here. I think heartfelt gratitude is rarely received wrongly and you could have a really beneficial effect on them. If in the chance they didn't respect her decision to be an organ donor it's not your issue anyway. I say go for it.

[Phoenix1705]

We recently attended an appointment for my husband to be assessed for transplant. They told us that family members can refuse to allow their relatives organs to be transplanted if they disagreed. I think with that in mind, I would choose to write to them. From reading your post, I felt happy for you and it’s always amazing to hear success stories. You have done incredibly well to beat the dreaded alcohol demons. Whilst your donor’s family may not understand the complexities of the issues you’ve overcome, I would hope they see life is a gift and that their relative has given that gift to someone. It’s a difficult decision, but you have a success story that is worth sharing with the world ❤️

[Huggy7614]

Congratulations on your year. It is quite amazing how quickly you feel the difference. I noticed literally the following day, lying on ICU, no blanket on me and not cold!!

I wrote my letter 6 months after. It’s the hardest thing you’ll do, but once you actually start, it will flow easily!

Initially I was secretly quite disappointed I didn’t get a reply, but very soon realised that it wasn’t all about me, it’s about the family !! Nearly a year later I got a response, out of the blue, and subsequently had a conversation with them for a while.

To me it seems like you’re considering it. In which case, do it, if they don’t want any contact they don’t have to receive the letter. You may find that just writing the letter helps you come to terms with ‘survivors guilt’ or any similar feelings. For me it just gave me the opportunity to say how I felt and the difference it made to my family.

Good luck, Andy.

[bagpuss7]

At Addenbrookes, you are actively encouraged to write to your donor family post transplant. I did at 6 weeks post, a year( a year for me but a year of loss for them) and also their first Christmas . I think from what I've heard from donor families, it brings some comfort.

[McEwan1962]

Hi glad to hear you are doing so well and this is my experience of writing to my donors family. I had my transplant in December 2019. I wrote to my donors family in May 2020. I put in a little packet of wild seeds and I had the same packet. I knew pre transplant I was going to write to them. I heard one of the nurses telling students that only 20% of transplant recipients write. I think probably because it is a very difficult letter to write and I know a fellow transplant recipient just can’t as she gets overwhelmed as her donor was a young man. I was also prepared not to hear from my donors family as sometimes they choose not to receive your letter or not to write back.

In September 2020 I got a call from the transplant co-ordinator saying they had a letter from my donors family and did I want them to forward it to me. I was thrilled they had written and also very emotional. It was such a lovely letter and they were so pleased to know I was doing well and asked to keep in touch as they wanted just to have updates🥹 We write about twice a year and we share how we are getting on. I have had some photos that are so very precious.

There is guidance from the blood and transplant service about what to say and the letters are sent via your co-ordinators so it can take a while.

I cannot put into words how special and how much it means to me. You need to do what is right for you. There is no time limit and no right or wrong way to do it🫂🫶

[Mechelle007 in reply to McEwan1962]

Oh wow, I got choked up just reading your story. I think that’s beautiful. I would want to hear from my child’s donor recipient also. It would bring me peace. Thank you for sharing.

[McEwan1962 in reply to Mechelle007]

Thank you for your kind words🫂

[Yellowsydney]

Hi, congratulations on your first year post transplant. I wrote to my donors family at 9 months post transplant, up until then I couldn't even think about it but suddenly the words just came to me. I received a reply very quickly and they said that they thought of me all the time, donor families receive a letter with brief details of the recepitant, and wondered how I was doing, they also said how pleased they were that something good had come out of their mother's death. I belong to a group called donor family network which is primarily to support donor families, they all say how they would love to hear from the recipient of their loved ones organs. I know we can never thank them enough but just a short note to say how you are doing could mean the world to them, but you will know when the time is right. I'm now 7 years post and have written to my donors daughter a few times just to let them know how my liver transplant had changed my life, the day of my daughters graduation when I stood in a room with thousands of others, feeling such pride of my daughter and it hit me that I shouldn't be here.Hilary 💚❤

[Sanddeckchairs]

I am delighted with your progress and think your donor’s family will be heartened by the fact that the loss of their daughter has brought help and hope to someone else and that you really appreciate their gesture. I wish you continued luck and good health. Deb.

[Dogbot]

Hi fabulous news sounds so like my journey I didn’t run a pub but I think I brought a few 🤣. From what you read everyone seems to say write, I must admit I got my daughter to write the letter and then I read it and it made me tear up , I have not heard back but don’t expect to, it would be nice but as you say it’s about them not me. I had my transplant at kings college hospital London and the coordinators there give you like a list of helpful things to put in and things to leave out. Maybe the coordinators where you were might do the same thing??.

Once again great news for you fantastic 👍.

Stay safe All

Dogbot 🐶🌈Dave

[Epal1959]

Hi congratulations on your sobriety ,I too had a problem I had also suffered fron hep c and I feel my life has changed dramatically for the better it doesn't mean I have for gotten when I look back at photos the good times I had but I wouldn't wish it on anyone to live with addiction s.

[Epal1959]

I also think everyone should say thankyou for the wonderful gift of life that donor's give Here in Australia the donor's family are notified that there is a letter and the can choose to read it or not I had my transplant 8 weeks ago now and have sent my letter away ,and I have to agree there's a good life after addiction I gave up Drugs 40 years , smoking 30years , alcohol 3 year now I no longer drink caffeine and have the happiest healthiest life anyone could possibly have and have fun living it as they say older and much wiser

[Tucson1]

I definitely think you should write a letter to the donor family. I’m sure it would bring them some sense of peace knowing that their loved one gave a gift of life, and in a sense, lives on in you. The fact that you’re thinking of writing the letter would suggest that it is something you need to do. It’s great that you have made such a recovery😊