I’ve been reading posts here for quite a while and find the advice and comfort given very helpful.
I just dropped my older brother (42) at the hospital once again. He’s was extremely Jaundice and showing significant signs of HE. Unfortunately due to COVID I am unable to visit him or his doctors so I don’t have the full picture. I talked to the nurse and understand his potassium and sodium are critically low and Bilirubin was around 26 mg/dL (444 umol/L). Other then that I have no information. I’ve been through this twice before with him and also my father many times who died from cirrhosis about 10 years ago. You’d think it would somehow be easier. But every time it’s absolutely miserable and I fell so helpless.
My brother lives alone hours away so I’m not sure how he will be able to take care of him self if he’s get out this time around. I don’t know exactly why I posted other then the vent my frustration, anxiety, and utter fear.
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Jag9380
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I'm glad you posted here, this is the place where people understand the most, where there are people who have been and are going through the exact same torment. Unfortunately you are a helpless bystander. Others here, from their own experience, will point out that only your brother can decide to stop drinking. You've already had this horrific journey before with your father and I'm sorry you had to go through it once, but twice is unbearable.
The only options you have is to try to convince him to stop drinking, if not for himself then for you, your family, your friends. It may be a painful memory for you to bring up, but, remind him vividly and graphically, exactly what happened to your father and explain to him he is going to end up the same way... and very soon if he does not stop. Failing that, is there something that has triggered his drinking, if he does not want to talk to you about any underlying trauma/ memory, can you get him to speak to someone, a doctor, a counsellor?
If he will not listen to common sense, begging or even bullying... then you can do no more.
It is important that you do not look to yourself for blame, you have done nothing wrong, you are going to go through the same anguish as before, the stress and emotional upheaval will place a great burden on you.
You can come here any time, you will get lots of support. Later someone will post the helpline number and at times if it is getting too stressful, phone them. It takes a strong mind to reach out. I was weak minded for a long time and when I finally got the courage to talk, I started to get my mental strength back.
I hope you can make him change course, there are some amazing people here who have turned their lives around and maybe if your brother could understand he can still turn back, it may help.
Hi Jag, so sorry to hear the tough time you’re going through with your brother. Please do try and take good care of yourself x
This situation is emotionally and physically exhausting for you and also frustrating. Are you abe to speak to the Ward manager (or USA equivalent) about your concerns regarding discharge? Certainly in the UK it is possible to arrange a discharge planning meeting to make sure that the discharge is safe. I wonder whether there is anything similar where your brother is?
Just and Update on my brother. He’s not doing very well still in Hospital. His Bilirubin is increasing, as well as his INR and PT so he’s having bleeding problems. Sodium still a bit low but a bit better. He hates the Lactulose so getting him to take that is a chore so his HE hasn’t decreased much.
Long term prognosis isn’t good which I sadly expected. Unfortunately he’s not a candidate for transplant as he hasn’t been sober long enough. They are discussing Palliative Care with him but I feel so bad for him as he’s all alone and don’t think he fully understands.
Also my Mom doesn’t understand the severity of the situation and is in complete denial. I think he is as well. This is beyond heartbreaking and infinitely frustrating.
Any advice on how to comfort and help him and my Mom understand what is and going to happen would be appreciated.
Hello Jag... Try not to think the worst just yet. (I'm going on what happened with me) If I would of given up I wouldn't be talking with you now. I came back from death and one of the reasons I swear by is.... I fought back, we had a right scrap (my liver and I). Then main things are, not to drink (obvious), try and eat (easier said but it is a must) with as least salt added as possible, flush the system through with lactulose (get it down) I used to try and joke about it. The more active he can become the better (little walks, get to the toilet).Positive attitude and I know this is hard but try to smile, keep your sense of humour (it is a form of cure) well it worked for me. The rest is down to the doctors with medication, but try and push for as many tests and scans as possible, the sooner you know the full diagnosis the quicker the right diet, Meds, plan for recovery will come together.
Really hope he can get on top of this, it is hard but not impossible.
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