My brother died today

[1vanpow]

My brother died today from stage 4 cirrhosis I feel so guilty I tried helping he wouldn't stop drinking only 62 years old

[Diamondbabe]

So very sorry to hear that. Please don't feel guilty. I bet you did everything you possibly could for him.Take care x

[Millie09]

My condolences.. sorry to hear sad news. Please don't feel guilty, I know its very difficult as your feeling so much emotion , sometimes as hard as we try things happen beyond our control .

I lost a very close friend of mine last August in same situation, he was only 53 yrs old ,I too tried to help him on many many occasions .

Take a day at a time .take care of yourself

My very best..Linda

[Braveheart65]

Sad news. Sorry to hear that you feel guilty. As an ex drinker, no one but me could’ve made the decision, or influenced me to stop. You’ve nothing to feel guilty for. I hope you can come to peace with that. Take care of yourself.

[No777]

I’m so sorry to hear of your loss. Addiction is awful and you can do everything to help but it means nothing if the person you’re trying to help cannot accept the help. Sounds like you done all you could ❤️

[AlexJ91]

Sending you lots of love.

As others have said, no matter how much we try to help and save those we love from alcoholism we are powerless if they do not accept the help themselves.

Your brother was lucky to have you and I hope you can find peace in knowing that you did everything you could to help him.

Take care of yourself x

[MrsWorried]

So sorry for your loss. Please look after yourself. As everyone has said, we cannot make other people behave in a certain way. Addiction is such a power. Be kind to yourself xx

[wurzle]

So sorry to hear your sad news. Please don't feel guilty. As someone who was in the same situation as your brother there was nothing that my sisters could do to stop me drinking. I hated what I was doing to them but that wasn't enough to make me stop. Please be kind to yourself and remember that he has found peace and would not want you to hold on to feelings of misplaced guilt. Take care x

[teletonetapper]

I understand how you feel but you must never feel you were guilty. As a brother, you did absolutely everything you could to help him. You loved him and he knew that but sadly, alcohol, took over his life and ended it also. You can never blame yourself and be proud he was your brother. You will have very happy memories of your childhood together and I am sure you will reflect upon these. You are very emotional at this time and I send love and thoughts. Please take good care and remember the good times. xx

[Aotea2012]

I’m very sorry to read this. Please accept my sincere condolences. As others have said don’t feel guilty. I drunk until I get very seriously ill. I nearly died in hospital. It scared me so much I stopped drinking. That was nearly 2 years ago. No one could have made me stop and stay stopped apart from me. My friends and family did try. It has to be the individual who chooses. Make sure you grieve and take care of yourself but don’t beat yourself up. There was nothing more you could have done.

[Maisy2020]

So sorry for your loss.

[Cornwallgal]

My condolences. Please take care of yourself. What has happened was not something you could control.

[Mango5cm]

so sorry to hear your sad news . I hope happier memories bring you some comfort . My thoughts are with you Carol x

[Readlots]

I’m so sorry for your loss. Grief is a total roller coaster so guilt is one of the many emotions you and your family are going to be feeling over the next few days, weeks, months and maybe years. You won’t all feel the same thing at the same time, and that’s OK. Know that they all pass and change. There is nothing you could have done. Take good care of yourself

[1vanpow]

To everyone who sent their condolences thank you very much

[Adelou]

💜

[EnglishRoots]

Hello,

I am so sorry for the loss of your Brother. Please, Please do not feel guilty. I am an alcoholic in long term recovery. I was diagnosed with end stage alcoholic cirrhosis 6/13/19

It took me almost dying to finally stop.

Honestly I was the only one who could do it. It’s a dam powerful thing alcohol, complex, disease. Nothing to be judged at all. The Dam addiction takes over, it’s not a choice at that point.

I am so sorry to put this back to myself.

This is about you and your Brother.

“ May he Rest In Peace and Rise in Glory”🙏❤️🙏

Send a gentle hug.

Susan

[1vanpow in reply to EnglishRoots]

Thank you it was a long battle for him 35 years like you said you got hold of him and he couldn't break free thank you for your kind thoughts and words

[Bumpity]

I lost my brother at 60 due to alcoholic cirrhosis. Despite seeing him once a week I never knew he was drinking as he was always clean, never missed time off work in 20 or so years, never appeared drunk, seemingly in good health. One day he was taken ill and then into hospital where I discovered he had been drinking ridiculous amounts of alcohol, he would not admit it was a problem, until the Dr put the fear of God into him and he still made excuses. He stopped drinking for one year more or less to the day since the Dr had told him his liver would recover in a year! I could have killed that Dr. as it was like a cloud hanging over me and our mother worrying he might start again.

I didn't know he had started again although our mother was suspicious, until I went to pick him up and there was no answer at the door. I went home to get the spare key and then went in, he was gone, just sitting there looking so happy and peaceful. The wheelie bin was full of empty Vodka bottles, I was so angry and the initial guilt was horrendous but, I know there was nothing anyone could have done. So please, please don't beat yourself up, your brother made his choice even though he knew what could happen. The grief at losing someone so close is so hard and it will take time before you can think of your brother without feeling the ache of sorrow. Remember your brother without the alcohol, laugh at the fun times you had, tell stories of the antics you both got up to and enjoy your memories happy and sad. But, above all, look after yourself and do not be scared to shed a tear or two. Take care.