How to encourage someone to seek medical support (who has turned their back on this due to prior negative experience with consultant)

[Brighton1974]

Hi, I'm hoping that someone can point me in the direction of a positive source of support for someone who has turned their back on formal medical support because on a negative experience with consultant. They were hospitalised with liver failure back in 2011 and formally diagnosed with cirrhosis. There has been a recent decline that is evident to me (their partner) and signs of what I believe to be ammonia build up (fatigue and loss of appetite predominantly and occasional confusion). I'm doing what I can to encourage some form of self management as they are reluctant to go to GP (lactulose and thiamine) but really feel they need formal medical intervention to support and manage symptoms. I can't force them to seek help but wondering if anyone can recommend someone who can counsel and encourage without judgement. Has anyone else experienced this type of situation and can share?

[Hidden]

Hi Brighton. Do you happen to have (or the partner) the same GP as said person ? It may be worth making an appointment ( in whichever way possible at the mo) to explain the reluctancy for them seeking the medical help they desperately need. The GP may well be able to help if you or the partner explain it in the way you have here. You sound like a very caring thoughtful friend/relative and hope they can be reassured that the vast majority of consultants care too. Best of luck

Laura

[Brighton1974 in reply to Hidden]

Hi Laura, thanks for your reply. They have only recently and reluctantly signed on with a GP to receive vaccination. Unfortunately the experience with the previous consultant did a lot of damage and my partner has entered into a period of not wanting medical intervention because of it. I'm fearful that symptoms of end stage liver disease are becoming more evident and that short of an emergency hospitalisation, they won't get the treatment or medication that they clearly need. It is a bit of an impossible situation and so hoping that there may be some form of caring, counselling support out there that may help change their mind.

[Hidden in reply to Brighton1974]

Oh what a sad situation to be in. A call to the livertrust may have someone there who could advise you on where to find the kind of councelling required. I wish you every success.

[Partner20]

Hi Brighton, where I am currently based. After a few years of medical events involving various conditions, last year my partner received yet another diagnosis, this time of an incurable liver condition. The way in which the matter was handled was shocking, leaving my partner quite traumatised, and both unwilling and unable to interact further with the consultant. The only answer was for me to be designated his spokesperson, able to take calls and take part in consultations on his behalf. This worked well, and we were even able to get him to attend a face-to-face appointment with a senior team member, which was a great help, and led to some excellent and understanding support. Amazingly, after a scary time and many tests and scans, his diagnosis was reversed, although he is still regularly monitored. My partner was discharged back to the consultant who unilaterally diagnosed him initially, but, understandably, he did not want to speak to that man again, a sentiment I thoroughly agreed with. Consequently I requested a change of consultant due to the original consultant's behaviour, and this was done immediately, and without question. There is definitely support and understanding out there if you ask for it. I am only describing my experience to show that it is possible to become officially involved in someone's care, which can often help them by taking the burden from them. I hope that you will be able to find help and encouragement in these difficult times for you both soon.

[Brighton1974 in reply to Partner20]

Thank you so much for your response. It's really helpful and I'm really pleased that to hear that there was a way through for you both. I will follow your lead. Thank you!

[Partner20 in reply to Brighton1974]

It is also important to look after yourself so that you can continue to be strong for your partner. Wishing you both well.

[Readlots]

I’m so sorry to hear about the bad experience you partner has had which is obviously affecting both of you. You mentioned end stage liver disease, so I wonder if you’ve tried contacting a local hospice? Both my parents received amazing support from our hospice. They have counselling services, specialist nurses and can advocate for your husband with other medical professionals. They are also very supportive of family members and really understand what you’re going through. Often you can self refer but if not, your new GP can do a referral for you xxx