Very disappointed in myself

[Phil1983]

I had a bit of a breakdown a year ago. I had high GGT which went back to normal after 3 weeks. I convinced myself I had cirrhosis, I was imagining pain that wasn't there. I quit drinking for 5 months but I was dying with anxiety until I had an ultrasound which came back normal.

Of course when I got the all clear from the ultrasound I predictably started binge drinking again usually twice a week.

Now here I am 8 months later and the anxiety is back.

I feel ok but I'm freaked out about loads of cherry angioma which appeared on my abs and biceps a few months ago.

It was almost a year to the day that I freaked out last time and now I'm in the same place.

I haven't drank in 10 days and I feel fine physically but the anxiety creeps in sometimes.

Hopefully I didn't do too much damage in 8 months but I feel like such an asshole. I never seem to learn my lesson.

[Ihavebigfeet]

Here’s to hoping your ok and can stick to it this time! While I don’t share the same struggle as you My weakness has always been sugar and caffeine. I struggle not to give in constantly and find it near impossible to be out for meal in a group setting. I’m thankful for a handful of friends online for support and am always willing to help where I can

[Hidden]

I wrote on here before, 6 years ago I woke up with hundreds and hundreds of cherry angioma all over my stomach, chest and a few on inside of my arms. I was a heavy drinker at the time and it totally freaked me out. No doctor has been able to tell me what they are and just ignore me, although I’m seeing a skin consultant next week for another matter and will ask for confirmation, but I’m 99.9% certain that’s what they are and it was called eruptive cherry angioma. I also have hemangioma on my liver and an angioma behind my left eye! . 6 years later the ones on torso and stomach are still small and red and some have grown brown and look like small moles.... yep I’m getting old lol, and after a recent CT with contrast and 2 ultrasounds I presume my liver is ok because I haven’t been told otherwise.. so I wouldn’t worry too much about the angioma, and it’s an aging thing unless you have been exposed to bromide.

Sorry to hear you are back to drinking but seems you have given yourself a telling off and back off it again. Been there an done that.

Only way to stop the anxiety and worry is to look after the liver... I know it’s not easy but the cycle of drink, then worry then drink is just not worth it.. 😬

[Richard-Allen in reply to Hidden]

May I ask please, and I hope you don't mind. But what do you prefer to drink as a substitute for alcohol these days?

[Hidden in reply to Richard-Allen]

Of course, I drink water mostly and lately I have stared drinking decaf tea. I’ve never been a tea drinker but enjoying it of late. Other than that I don’t drink anything. Due to my autism and problems associated with it I do not socialise at all, in fact the only time I leave my house is to take my dogs out or go to the doctor or hospital. Otherwise I don’t see people physically so I don’t attend social events Or have friends like most others do. If I did I would need a drink in order to be relaxed enough to mingle which is how my drinking issues likely started... self medication. I am fine behind this screen, but my social issues kick in wildly face to face 😏 so without alcohol now my life has become extremely isolated.

As for substitutes for alcohol, I never did like the taste of any alcohol, quite the opposite, I used it only for the way it made me confident and able to go out . X

[Richard-Allen in reply to Hidden]

Many thanks for your very honest reply.

[Phil1983]

Thanks for the advice. I realise I'm having an anxiety attack. So I'll leave this forum for people with proven liver problems. I'm sorry if posts like this annoy people. I wish I wasn't such a mess.

[Hidden in reply to Phil1983]

You certainly do not need to apologise for your post.

regards

[MaeWood]

There is an anxiety forum here too which also has many supportive members, you may find that forum helpful. I too have anxiety and understand how it can send you in spirals.

[Hidden]

Hi Phil. Don't beat yourself up. If you are struggling to get off or stay of the booze, speak to your doc about getting some professional help/ councelling. There is absolutely no shame in doing that. It is vital that you take care of your liver which in turn will quell your feelings of anxiety , as you have discovered, alcohol fuels anxiety. You have had the all clear of a cirrhosis diagnosis which is a huge positive so by staying off the booze for good, eating and living healthily any mild damage, which may have been done, will be allowed to heal.Find new interests to keep your mind occupied and get plenty of exercise which will massively benefit your physical and mental health.

Good luck and look after yourself. Best wishes.

Laura .

[Phil1983]

I'm absolutely dying with anxiety.After the last time I posted I quit drinking for six weeks and got back to a good weight losing a stone.

I did a Thriva blood test (you prick your finger squeeze out some blood and post it to them) my scores were all normal Liver function good

So I thought I could allow myself a few beers during the Euros.

Long story short I've been drinking a few days a week and all of a sudden I've seen these splinter hemmorhages on my nails.

I spoke to the doctor and sent them photos on the Friday. They called me early Monday and wanted me to take a blood test that morning. Liver function and Full blood count I think.

I'm absolutely terrified the doctors have my results but the nurse won't tell me. They've been saying a doctor will call me but It's 5.45pm and still nothing. I'm worried I'll have pulled my hair out by then.

Starting to think I have cirrhosis again. The doctors were so convinced I was fine and my ultrasound and blood was good. I'm so scared!