3 months sober

[Phil1983]

So it's been 3 months since I had some very worrying symptoms after drinking. I've been pretty good with my diet and exercise and I've been feeling much better. Went from 14 stone 3 in January to 11 stone 4 today. No temptation to drink whatsoever, I'm convinced it would be a disaster. Only major thing left is to quit the 3 cigs a day which I'm finding hard.

The Citalopram has worked wonders with my anxiety. It's weird I feel good but my head is a mess. I'm constantly thinking about Cirrhosis but because of the pills I don't feel any of the physical effects of anxiety.

The shoulder pain has gone but I still feel pressure on my right rib cage whenever I lay down or slouch. The veins on my ankles have faded a little. I still have very predominant sock marks but other than a brief swollen area on my leg which has since gone down no swelling. I'm sleeping pretty well mostly 6 hours. But on the rare occasions I get 7-8 hours my ring and little finger on my left hand is frozen at an angle which must be Dupuytren's contracture. I also have some mild tinnitus. Recently my pee has become more yellow.

Anyway before I just start listing symptoms. What I wanted to know is how people found it changing their life after having liver problems. I'm staying busy with work but the evenings are hard I'm lonely and bored.

The lockdown is making it difficult but I've had these problems all my life. The added stress of having liver problems is hard as I struggle to focus on anything else. I read this forum way too much, but it does calm me down to read about people with more serious issues that they are coping with. I hope I'll have the same strength if I get really sick.

I feel a bit stuck as my FBC was good and my LFTs returned to normal my GP won't do anything for the time being. Part of me would rather live in this uncertainty than face what I feel is an inevitable Cirrhosis diagnosis.

Anyway I'm rambling. I'm going to try and get even more disciplined with diet and exercise and quit the fags.

I tried a psychologist and I didn't get much from it but I didn't really commit. I think I should try again.

What I really need is a social life which isn't easy for me even without the lockdown. I need to have more gratitude that i'm feeling good right now I just hope it lasts. I've wasted so much time isolating myself with drink and drugs. I really want to start living.

I hope everyone had a good weekend

Phil

[Hidden]

Hi Phill

I feel like i'm in a similar situation the worrying is almost constant but what helped me is meditation. It may sound silly but when hard times hit I was prepared to do everything in my power to get my mind back in a good place. I bought a shakti mat and lay on it every evening for 30 minutes meditating. Some days twice and I must say it really helped me. I've done numerous tests and went to 3 gp's and a gastro doc and they all say i'm fine but I don't feel fine besides the fatty liver.

They prescribed me cimbalta as a antidepressants but i'm scared to take any medicine at this point. At least for now I will stick to meditation and my weekly psychologist visit. I wish you all the best!

Good luck.

[Lam1e]

Hi Phil

Sounds like you are doing really well, especially in these strange times!

Boredom is certainly one of the things that are top of my list, especially as it is Summer and it is so tempting to go out!

I meditate too, I use mindfulness, which seems to have become popular! I did a course in 2015 and it really changed a lot of my thinking and how I cope! I follow Mindfulness Unleashed on Facebook, he does free zoom sessions and there are some on Facebook. He just happens to be the chap I did my course with! Though there are plenty of other types of meditation and you need to find one to suit!

I am an avid reader and I have a Kindle. I just love that I can download and read books instantly!

Stay well🙏👍

Lesley

[richymac]

Hi Phil - sounds like you are making fantastic process - I am 35 days in to not drinking. I dont like to use the word "sober" because I was never a person that appeared or felt drunk its just that I had a very bad bottle a day wine habit in the evenings that turned into two bottles over the weekend. I started to get a bloated / ache under my right rib and a bit into my back -particularly when sitting or leaning over. Strangely OK at night in bed - felt nothing but it really got my health anxiety going. So - as you may have read in my previous posts put myself through a year of hell - thinking the worst - Ultrasounds, bloods and eventually a Endoscopy (not recommend) all showing nothing. BUT i feel this ache and I now know that it was getting worse after drinking. So I am on the abstinence path. Like @bert38 and Lam1e I am trying to use a combo of mindfulness (I have no "red flags" and am otherwise well) and I am on a repeat Amitriptyline (20mg) to try and chill out my anxieties a bit more. But that little "bloat" / bruise under my ribs is still there and plays havoc with my brain and the GP isnt going to do much more for me. Interestingly she (the GP) did prescribe a 28 day course of Thiamin and Vit B Strong. Apparently that might be helpful for me.

[Phil1983]

Thanks for the advice.

I've tried meditation but it's never stuck. Been doing these Wim Hoff breathing exercises recently. I'll give the meditation another go. What I really need is a time machine to go back 10 years and live my life differently. In the absence of that I'm just going to have to try my best to change. It's really hard sometimes but I'm trying.

[Soscared]

Hi Phil - I read some of your previous posts, I panic daily about many of the same symptoms as you. The periodic swollen ankles, right sided rib pain, especially lying down, orangeish stool and I do have tinnitus. I too have had numerous blood works (all of which have shown optimal liver function) an ultrasound and a CT on my kidneys that i think would have picked up any massive liver issues but i still spend most of my days worrying i have liver disease as i too have been a reasonably heavy drinker. The one thing i will say is your antidepressants is probably accountable for your tinnitus - its a very common side effect. Thats what kicked mine off years ago. If its bothering you don't worry, you will just come to notice it.

I now get a 3 monthly set of liver function and Gamma GT tests from Thriva. It costs me £30 and gives me some peace of mind. I do still worry though that I will be one of the people who has advanced liver damage and normal blood work!

[Phil1983]

Thanks for the positivity hopefully we're both ok. I'm struggling to be optimistic. I've got a telephone appointment with a GP next week maybe I'll be able to get a scan. I'm dreading it all. Just keeping busy at the moment. Thankfully the pills keep me going. Worst case scenario of cirrhosis is pretty bleak but I'm trying to eat well and stay as fit as possible. I'm a bit bummed out about my urine being darker yellow it was mostly clear after the morning before and floating shapes in my eyes. It sucks but I'm trying to get stuff done. I largely feel ok so I just have to be thankful.

[Zazadance]

Hi, are you able to get out and take hikes? Maybe some type of hobby? that is a way to get a healthy social life, find something that you love to do and others that share the passion.

[Phil1983]

I spoke to my new GP she's convinced I'm fine because I've has 3 sets of FBC and 4 LFT's. I've not seen the results but I think only my GGT was worrying at 250 but went back to normal after quitting drinking.

She was a bit shocked at my weight loss I was 14 stone 3 in January and now I'm 10 stone 12. My BMI is now in the middle of the healthy range though. I hope it stops though any lighter and I'll be really worried.

I look great just wish I was as healthy mentally as I look physically.

My shoulder pain has almost completely gone but I still feel my right abs if I'm lying down or slouching.

It does really get me down when I notice little things like the red veins on my ankles and the purple veins under my chest. I can't find anything that explains that. The red dots (cherry angioma I think) all over my abs.

My poo is still pretty stinky and weird looking but not white or tarry.

The tinnitus has improved but I still get lots of floating shapes in my vision. Booked an eye test next month.

I'm pretty sure I have dupuytren's contracture. I sometimes wake up with my little finger and ring finger bent and frozen.

I'm sleeping well, eating well but my mood fluctuates. I have'nt had an upset stomach in a few weeks.

I just find this all so weird all the blood tests I've had.

When I'm feeling good I just want to forget it.

No progress on improving my social life. I'm putting it off just concentrating or work and fitness. I'm making baby steps but I need to do more.

The doc has ordered an ultrasound but I got a letter from the NHS saying it could be a 3 month wait cause of Covid.

My reaction was relief as I'm terrified of getting a bad diagnosis.

It's just hard not to think of the worst case scenario. I don't know what else explains the symptoms I have.

Thanks for listening

Phil

[Vincentzeke]

How was your check up with the doctor?