Not 'all in my head', but perhaps a bi... - British Liver Trust

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Not 'all in my head', but perhaps a bit of it might be...

Kellan38 profile image
27 Replies

Whilst I would in no way suggest that my current pains around my liver are imaginary, it is certainly the case that they are worse, and are far more pronounced, whenever I am dwelling on them, or during times when I am most stressed.

Again, I wouldn’t say that everything is completely “in my head”, but I never, ever feel any of pains when I first wake up, and if I immerse myself in something wonderful like Brahms Violin Concerto (My very favourite piece of music, and my ‘Desert island’ disc) then I find that having almost exactly the same effect.

Does anyone else on our Forum experience things like this, and could I possibly dare to proffer the notion that it might mean things are not as bad as my conscious mind suspects?

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Kellan38 profile image
Kellan38
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27 Replies
TT-2018 profile image
TT-2018

It was Brahms and Liszt that did it for me.

Kellan38 profile image
Kellan38 in reply toTT-2018

And for us all, I fear! I set myself up for that one, didn't I?

Laura009 profile image
Laura009 in reply toTT-2018

🤣🤣🤣

Waking up cheers me up!

ThreeSmiles profile image
ThreeSmiles in reply to

But you’re never asleep filly....

in reply toThreeSmiles

You are right of course, I never sleep. Not standing on my head in the street anyway. :-)

Need to give yourself a wee break. Stop overthinking. Listen to the chorus.

Que Sera Sera.

Take it on the chin.🙏🙃

farranccc profile image
farranccc

GrahamB8, I have exactly the same although it is now much better after a year off the booze (with a few controlled exceptions) than it was previously. I was never diagnosed with anything and fibroscan, bloods and US were always fine but I know something wasn’t right and probably still isn’t fully.

Even now, sat here, reading and replying to your message the pain is worse than it has been all day - in fact I don’t think I have felt it all day.

Mine is also worse when I think about having a drink which is a very helpful reminder not to!

Are there specific triggers for you? Coffee used to hurt a lot for some reason but now I can drink four cups a day 😊

Kellan38 profile image
Kellan38 in reply tofarranccc

Thank you for your reply, Farrancc (very unusual name, by the way; What does it mean?)

I hope you don’t mind me asking, but old are you, and how much did you previously drink?

I’m 64, and have been drinking all my life, though I’ve only been averaging around 10 pints a week for the past few years. I’ve stopped completely now, and whilst my only symptom of cirrhosis or liver cancer is discomfort around my liver, I’ve read the facts that say you could still have either and that you only get the symptoms when it’s almost certainly too late.

I have an ultrasound scan tomorrow and some more blood tests on Saturday morning so I have a terrifying week ahead whilst I wait for my results.

Many thanks again for your reply, and I be interested to hear more on your health history and how you’ve been...

Graham

farranccc profile image
farranccc in reply toKellan38

Farrancc is just a combination of letters from my first name, middle name and surname!

I was a typical heavy drinker, now 42yo, and was having a few beers almost every night in the week and then binging at the weekend until I was drunk enough to have (what I thought at the time) a good time.

But tbh, I’m not sure any of that matters - some people can drink a lot more and not end up with cirrhosis and some a lot less and seriously damage their liver.

I was always known to be a drinker and a party goer and I never ever thought I would quit or cut back but it is amazing what constant worry can help you overcome. Sounds like you’re making progress, just make sure you replace the beer with something you enjoy or can learn to enjoy. For me that was exercise.

I am sure there will be people of here that will dispute my thoughts but I really think that it you are as far advanced as cirrhosis you would have more than an intermittent pain. If you don’t have jaundice, swollen stomach, vomiting blood, super weak or tired, I would maybe doubt you have it - but I’m not a doctor and he/she will be the only one to confirm that for you.

Make sure you keep us updated as you learn more. There are lots of people that appear on her for advice and then never reappear with the end of their story!

All the best

Kellan38 profile image
Kellan38 in reply tofarranccc

Thank you for your reply, farranccc

Yours is a really interesting story, and it’s great to hear that you’ve turned your life around as you have. I hope I’ve still got time to turn my life round, too.

I hope you’re right about me not having cirrhosis but it’s the tests that I’ll be having in the next two or three appointments - beginning tomorrow morning - that can end the speculation and conform things for me either way.

I’ve also noticed how people can just ‘disappear’ off site, but I hope I’m posting good news soon, and I’ll certain stick around and try to help others in future if I can...

You take care., too

Graham

ThreeSmiles profile image
ThreeSmiles in reply tofarranccc

Hi farranc

I’m not “disputing” you as such but my pain was intermittent only and I was not often, if ever, sick...I was post TP but I think that was all the tablets I was having in combination with the immunosuppressants!

Miles

Sydney04 profile image
Sydney04 in reply toKellan38

Graham

As Farrancc suggests some can drink alot less and end up with cirrhosis. I was 36 at the time I was diagnosed (I'm 38 now). This followed a period of extreme stress where I did drink more than the recommended limit as a 'coping' technique which created even more stress! I drank alot less than some but still ended up with this disease as I've come to accept we are all built differently .

I would have loved my results to have come back clear but sadly they didn't and like many on this forum I now have to live with the reality of having cirrhosis.

I do think it sounds like it could possibly be anxiety which in itself is a consuming and draining illness. Following your all-clear has your Dr explored this? (apologies if this has previously been discussed or mentioned).

Laura009 profile image
Laura009 in reply toKellan38

Could l just ask, given that you had all these symtoms when you 1st posted 5 years ago after many years of heavy drinking, why did you not give up drinking then? You possibly might not be going over the same ground now? Not a critism just a curious observation.

Kellan38 profile image
Kellan38 in reply toLaura009

Hello Laura

I think the simple truth is that I just assumed I could carry on because if I was OK then, I had probably had a bit of time to go before things got really serious. I realise now that such a notion was/is completely stupid, and I just hope I never, ever make the same mistake again.

Laura009 profile image
Laura009 in reply toKellan38

Well l guess you can't make the same mistake again, you're living with the consequences now sadly.

But you have been fortunate to reach the age you have given the amount you had been drinking. It killed my husband at 54.

Kellan38 profile image
Kellan38 in reply toLaura009

I’m sorry to hear that, Laura. Be assured that I quite rightly feel ashamed of myself just now.

Laura009 profile image
Laura009 in reply toKellan38

Don't feel ashamed.... no one should feel guilty or ashamed for being lured into the grips this poison. What's shameful is that there still isn't enough information anywhere stressing the dangers of what alcohol can do.

Kellan38 profile image
Kellan38 in reply toLaura009

I do feel ashamed, Laura, and I think I will be every day that I realise I’m still alive whilst others are not.

I can only eat and drink as healthily as I am can now; I don’t smoke, I try to keep my weight down, I walk at least two miles every day, and I get out in the streets in all weathers and I run.

I still don’t think that’s enough, and so I’m even today completely replanning my diet to exclude more bad fats, introduce more good fats ie cold pressed extra virgin olive oil and avocados, and I’m also introducing far more greens into a diet in which I already eat quite a lot of veg, and organic veg at that. I can do nothing now about all the beer (and it’s only ever been beer, and nothing else), but I can at least do this.

Every day when I wake up I feel grateful (and a bit surprised!) to still be here.

I love the music of Johannes Brahms and I love every act of kindness wherever I see one surface and appear.

I love tea and chilled fresh apple juice, but most most of all, I think, I really do love ducks.

Ducks have never been far from me at any stage of my life. In great joy and in great sorrow and the deepest of depression, and at other every time I can possibly think of, they’ve been there.

My dad once said to me, “No matter how far you might travel, and however far you might roam, the unremitting kindness of ducks will always be there for you to get you home”.

I think was quite a prophetic thing to say to me because that’s exactly what they’ve done throughout my my life in many more ways than one...

We press on.

AmericanDemocrat profile image
AmericanDemocrat in reply toKellan38

This is lovely, Graham. You have your priorities straight and have a beautiful philosophy. If I had to guess, things are going to turn out okay for you. Please do keep us posted. Thanks for all the good vibes - sending them back to you.

Laura009 profile image
Laura009 in reply toKellan38

Well you are doing all the right things now and do keep it up so please stop punishing yourself, get rid of this paranoia surrounding every little twinge. Even the healthiest, fittest people get aches and pain as we get older. Just enjoy your life and focus on the positives and call the negatives 'life's lessons' and chuck them down the drain, dwelling on them serve no purpose to you or those around you.

Laura

Kellan38 profile image
Kellan38 in reply toLaura009

That’s very kind of you, Laura, thank you. Have a lovely evening and an excellent weekend...

Regards

Graham

Laura009 profile image
Laura009 in reply toKellan38

You too 😀

Yup...yup...yup. I dont get any pain until around noon, then it eases around early evening, then comes back late evening. Mine is also brought on by exercise, even if its walking quickly. I also noticed it more on my side when I lean over in bed to get something off of the bedside table...so twisting motions kick it off. If I think about it...its there, but then i wonder is it always there but I dont notice if my mind is otherwise occupied? Kind of like when I didn't notice it whilst drinking alcohol.

davianne profile image
davianne

Hi Graham,

Oh how I wish my capsule pain wasn't real, but sadly it is.

If you think it's brought on by anxiety, then try to occupy your mind with more positive thoughts.

David

Hello, I have only made my first posting today although lurked for a while.

I have read this thread with interest. Alot of you mention "the" pain. Could I ask please where exactly this pain is and what it feels like?

thank you x

Kellan38 profile image
Kellan38

Hello DL1962

It is a discomfort or soreness in my right hand upper quarter around where I imagine my liver to be, and it seems to be caused by certain, ie most things, I eat.

The worst of the pain comes on within seconds of swallowing, but then settles down again after that and just sits in the background.

Regards

Graham

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