I lost my dad to alcohol 2 years ago, and whilst I've heard all the words of wisdom that people come out with to try and bring some rational to such a mixed up situation... No one sets out to be an addict, he didn't realise the end result, he loved you always remember that..and many more it's still is so hard to get your head round that something that everyone enjoys, be it on a night out, or with a bath after a stressful day.. Something that despite its dangers and devastating effects on families and individuals is still as widely advertised now as it was... Limited health warnings, limited campaigns, go figure. Loosing a parent in any circumstance is tough, your go to has gone, the person who you are a part of isn't around anymore, and whilst you get through the days with a smile on your face even convincing yourself your doing OK, somedays the smile won't appear but the world around you keeps going and you have to get out there, you have to be a mom, a manager, a daughter, a wife and really all you want to be is daddy's little girl just one more time..holding his big hands, and talking about the silliest of things.
Addiction comes with so many un answered questions that you go over time and time again, did I do enough, why didn't he do more, why my dad, where was the help and if you find yourself battling it or trying to help someone it's so hard, and alcohol there is no escape... You can't hide away untill you get clean it's every where..My dad loved a party, he loved socializing, having friends and was the funniest craziest, kindest person you would ever meet, he was the life and soul of any party....when I think back just after dads death it felt like I was clearing up after a great party, I had the general tasks of packing away clothes, the practical things and then in amongst this I'd get those awful flashbacks, the ones you get after a night out, some were of funny times and would raise a smile, others would leave me sobbing... Then comes the funeral, you cope, you get through it even quite enjoy the day, as you talk to dads oldest friends they tell you a story you've not heard and he for that moment is right by you, and then it's all over., then the journey to heal starts..and then come the comment that if ever you have lost anyone to addiction you don't want to hear... O what a waste,.. The worst thing you can ever say.. Whilst my dad made some wrong moves his life wasn't a waste... He had 2 lovely children, he was immensely proud of, friends and family, people he had helped and made laugh.. He didn't die of old age or the conventional way but he had an illness that got the better of him...one I know millions of people are battling each day.. If that one is you, get the help, reach out and be brave... If you've lost, I wish you well in your battle..if you are a bystander, someone looking on, try and not judge because sometimes we all get it wrong and some are lucky enough to be able to fix it, and others are denied that chance.. ...
I miss my dad so much😓
HE after liver transplant??
