What to keep of dads, what to give away...

[Lperica10]

My dad passed away in October and we (my sister and I- other sister not interested) are beginning to clean out my dads house. My sister is planning on moving in there. I am struggling with what to keep, what to donate, etc. any thoughts/suggestions? Can't keep it all and he has a lot to sort through. Clothes, furniture, beds, couches, dressers, memorabilia, appliances, etc. My sister and I have already decided we are not intetested in an estate sale. But I want to keep things but do not have room. What have you done with a loved ones things?

[Brummi]

Hi, It's always a sad time when this has to be done. When my mother passed I saved the things that ment the most to me, nothing big just a few small things. The one thing I took and still have is the memories, some good, some bad but I still have them. Take care...

[Lperica10 in reply to Brummi]

Thank you. Yes memories keep running through my head. And exactly what you said - good and bad but I will have them forever.

[susieanna]

Hi, sorry for your loss; charity, charity, charity; I found it incredibly hard re my mums things when she passed away a few years ago; some things i have kept of course; but most clothes for example could go to a charity shop; maybe your dad had a favourite charity?? One he liked?? If not, give some things to you and your sisters favourites; helping the needy re furniture/ maybe donate some to a shop that helps the poor?? There are certain things i would never give away, even if they are not on display so to speak; but thats me; but you can't keep it all; keep the memorabilia; maybe it can be handed down in the family xx

[Lperica10 in reply to susieanna]

That's great advice. And we did meet a neighbor of his that wants to help us with donating so we already starting that. It will all work out it is just overwheleming at times. Thanks.

[mherbie]

I am sorry you have so recently lost your father. It seems rather soon to be clearing his home but if needs must, needs must. Keep what you want to keep and with more time you'll be ready to let go. The love and your memories are yours to keep forever. Best wishes.

[Lperica10 in reply to mherbie]

It is a little soon but we are starting slow as we all work full time and are very busy. My dad was in and out of hospitals his last months so it's been empty. My sister wants to move in and make changes and asked me to help. So I am. She is having the hardest time with his passing so I think her making his house her own, she's redoing everything is giving her a therapeutic project. I want to help her bc she asked bc she has not stopped crying in 2 months. Thank you for the advice and you are right.

[Geffy22]

Hi hun, sorry to hear your dad passed away, how are you and your sister? I hope you have access to counselling.

Ref your dad's thing, of Ray (my hubby)'s things, I've kept things I can put on display in the house - ornaments and things he bought me or vice versa. I kept some jumpers cos I can make cushions out of them. The kids chose t- shirts of his they can wear and his collectibles I've stored in the loft for the kids, the rest went to charity.

As someone told me, your not getting rid of Ray with his things your giving them new life. Ray will always be with you. I hope this helps xxx

[Lperica10 in reply to Geffy22]

Thank you. I do have access to therapy I wish my sisters would give it a try. I miss my dad so much. He passed at 63 with cirrhosis when he could have lived another 20 plus years but didn't bc of his choices with alcohol. His parents lived to late 80s and 90 and I know he could have to if he stopped. Thank you for your advice on his things that is what we plan on doing. Definitely keeping ornaments bc I know they've been passed down. Thanks again.

[susieanna]

Yes it's tough. good luck to you all. Xx

[Lperica10 in reply to susieanna]

Thanks 😊

[Jellybabe70]

I want through this with my husband. No one can tell you I'm afraid. I still find theinspiration that remind me of hI'm. The trick is to decide. It almost ďoesnt matter what ďecision you make. What matters is how it makes you feel. An example... Ibought my husband backgammon set from hamlets door fàth3rs day, I still ŕemembee it cost 185. I keep it because I never could play, we ßpènt ma you a drunken night with him trying to teach me. Ďoesnt @at feels right. Þhat will never be wrong.xxxx

[Lperica10 in reply to Jellybabe70]

Thanks bc through this whole experience I'm finding stuff is just that.. stuff.. not the person. The person I want most.