Been feeling pretty out of it recently, so much so, my other half persuaded me to see GP, and came along with me for support. Having moved to a new practice after moving to the other side of the country, and not knowing this GP, I was apprehensive to say the least.
GP was great, spoke to me, but listened to my rambles, asked questions, but was more interested in what I was saying rather than the answers to her questions.
Long and short of it is she has doubled my anti depressants for at least the next six months, but strangely came out feeling more positive. Told me it is expected, spoke about guilt, self worth, thoughts about my donor and family.
Yes I have talked to my husband about these things in the past, and he listened, but today I felt someone really listened, understood and wanted to get me through it. Husband is great, but I can't always dump on him.
For others, don't let these feelings build up, ask to talk to someone. It is normal, and as my GP said, expected, but if we don't open up no one can help.
See her again in a few weeks, and booked for a double appointment, so fingers crossed I can continue to get things out.
I am not mad, I am normal. Just have some excess luggage to sort through.
Thank god for our NHS. Without it, and my donor, I would not be here, and they are still picking me up when I wobble.
George
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7 Replies
•
Hi George
That’s very nicely put. It’s interesting to hear that this has happened so long after your transplant when one might have expected those feelings to have been Long gone by now.
Thank you for sharing this, and hope that you continue to feel a bit better with your new GP helping you along the way. 👍.
Miles
Good Morning George
Firstly thank you for sharing your feelings with this great forum which you will find is made up of lovely understanding people!
I've not had a TP and therefore cannot comment on your feelings, however I'm a good kind listener and will reply if I can help in anyway.
I know you'll eventually receive further replies from others who have also undergone the same operation and will understand how your feeling.
Hello George, just a small thought but has your Doc checked your B vitamins levels, especially B2 ( thiamine ) and B12 ?. so pleased you feel abit more chipper😃😊 xxx
Hello George, there will be some of us on here who totally understand where your coming from. It's rather spooky, but I posted up a thread only yesterday about this very subject. (Please see post "Liver Transplant - Survivors Guilt and Depression"). hopefully this article may explain a lot.
Not going into too much detail here, but I have suffered with depression all my life, up until my transplant. All mainly do to childhood abuse from a young age, and then growing up feeling a failure. I used alcohol as a form of self-medication, and this lead to my liver troubles. All those bad memories and feelings were still there post transplant. But I came up with a neat little trick which has worked for me. It may sound really silly, and i totally realise that it's impossible, but I sort of convinced myself that all those bad feelings thoughts and memories used to be stored in my liver for safe keeping. Because the liver was no longer there, none of these memories could no longer hurt me. I guess what I was doing was ending all that pain and torment. It was as if at long last the issues had been dealt with and were now gone. I told you is sounded silly. But like I say it has worked for me. I came off anti-depressants almost straight after my transplant as this was just one more drug this new liver was having to deal with. Now I don't take anything.
We all have our bad days, but this is thankfully no longer depression.
I hope this, and the article helps.
Good luck.
• in reply to
Richard
Thank you for sharing your story on how you've survived! I totally respect you for how you've managed in your own way to get rid of those nasty awful memories which should have NEVER happened, causing you to turn to alcohol as an escape!
I know this isn't much but I feel I should congratulate you for what you've achieved in your life so far!
Take care Richard and thank you for being there for others!
Hi George, remember that the t/p team at Edinburgh can still help you with this stuff. They have mental health doctors plus the social workers who can help you work through the huge psychological effects transplant brings. If you contact co-ordinators I am sure they can arrange appointments with support team there.
I see you say you've moved, so guessing you are no longer in sunny Ayrshire.
East coast has various British Liver Trust run support groups and patient get togethers. There is a pre and post liver transplant meeting held in Edinburgh regularly. If you contact Amy at British Liver Trust she can let you know when support group meetings are.
Ironically one just started in Ayr - hubby and I attended earlier in the month.
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Transplant 26/10/19
Post transplant gotta go back in. 
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