Update: Merry Christmas! Everyone, I... - British Liver Trust

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Update

Sugartaffy profile image
18 Replies

Merry Christmas! Everyone, I though I give a update on my fiance with liver Cirrhosis and how he is doing.For a couple of months he was doing good he still have his Volka everyday not to the point of being drunk he has I think a cup a day.He has now portal hypertension and he had a 5 varies bandage in the month of April.Everything went well and had a checkup to make sure he did not have any more bleeds.He does have gastropathy and his ascities came back and just had a drain of paracentesis at the hospital in Dec came home after and he was in so much pain that he had to go to emergency that night they took Ct scan and found he has developed a hermatoma where they drained him.He was at hospital for three days but will not do anything to the Hermatoma all they said is it will go away on its own.he is anemic .its been two weeks going on three and no change he got badly bruise all around his stomach from this He will be having another CT scan day after Christmas, just have to wait to see. Other then that his thyroid is very low,lots of aches and pains..he got of alot on his plate..I just wanted to give a update how he is doing.

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Sugartaffy
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18 Replies

Sorry if I have missed something, are you saying that he is still drinking ‘a cup’ of Vodka a day? Again (a single measure is way too much, zero), how big is the cup?

Sugartaffy profile image
Sugartaffy in reply to

Like a water bottle size he puts it in..and he drinks half of that..I did tell him to stop but he denied that's his bottle..I know he needs to stop but he is sneaks...I did everything to make him stop and threw away lots but somehow he hides it now...ugh! I feel he just don't want to live..

alfredthegreat profile image
alfredthegreat

Sorry to hear that he has so many problems but I cannot understand how somebody that is so ill could even think of drinking any vodka at all! I wish you the very best Christmas you can have under these circumstances. Alf

Sugartaffy profile image
Sugartaffy in reply to alfredthegreat

I know it's terrible to know that Alcohol is poison and knowing he is sick and still won't give it up.. I tryed everything to make him stop but continues to denial it..he sneaks it by putting in in a water bottle because Volka is clear and looks like water..so sad,but I am still on him to stop..so far nothing is working.

Sugartaffy profile image
Sugartaffy in reply to alfredthegreat

Thankyou, I know, I tryed to help him understand he don't listen he keeps saying he does not have alcohol. He slowly starting to go down hill he is at stage 3 of cirrhosis.I don't know what to expect next.

AyrshireK profile image
AyrshireK

Hope you have a nice Christmas too, sorry to hear how your fiance is doing. These signs of decompensated liver are only going to get worse and worse if he continues drinking and a transplant will be out of the question too - assessment will depend on proven abstinence and a commitment to life life long alcohol free future.

Katie

in reply to AyrshireK

Katie,

Not sure what Americans rules are but I am very sure they will be the same as ours (unless you have deep pockets), the land of the SUV. A cup is a US measure, it’s between 187 and 250cl.

Mark

in reply to

It doesn't matter if he is from America or where you from, he doesn't need to be drinking and the rules are the same.

in reply to

Hi Sophia,

Merry Christmas 🎄, I trust you find yourself in good health? Rules and measures vary, Hungary has some of the stricter rules internationally for transplant. You are US imperial, we are metric. In this game, units are everything, more units means more damage, in this (and most cases on here), zero is the only option.

My very kindest seasons greetings,

Mark x

Sugartaffy profile image
Sugartaffy in reply to

That's alot.

in reply to Sugartaffy

Upwards of 50 units a week, downward spiral. Good luck with everything and I hope that things get better for you in 2019.

Sugartaffy profile image
Sugartaffy in reply to AyrshireK

True that..No liver transplant drs don't even mention that.they just try to bandaid his pain.He has reached to stage 3 of cirrhosis,I don't know what to look forward to. Soon it will be stage 4 . It's so sad that I cannot help him stop,he lives in denial.

Sugartaffy profile image
Sugartaffy in reply to AyrshireK

Hi Katie, Well nothing has change on his drinking.I notice his skin has turn yellow,his ascites is there and needs to get drained but they are not doing nothing for him yet,his hematoma has not gone away.he has been tired no energy only if he got something to do..his thyroid is very high also..he is on medication,and diuretics ,he does have portal hypertensive he does take his medication. All this that I have mention is his liver really in decompensated?

Radnor profile image
Radnor

I really feel for you, he sounds like he is determined to commit slow suicide and he is not considering what he is putting you through at all. Laura009 has a a story which will have you in tears, it did me. Her husband died. You need support and to ensure you are prepared for what is likely to happen. The vodka is in effect his true love, you are in second place. I know my words will seem harsh but there are many awful stories on here of other halves have been devoted but unless he consciously decides to stop, any chance of transplant is out and his prognosis will be an end to his life.I met my last partner and he was diagnosed with a rare deadly cancer just a few weeks after we met. People questioned me wanting to go down this path but I decided cancer did not define him . It was a case of laser surgery under his tongue. Get it all and he'd live, if not he would die. No chemo,drugs or treatment would work. I knew he liked his beer, I also thought he is drinking more due to stress. He asked me what librium was for and I told him straight, he had to be de toxed before surgery. At 11.30pm his surgeon went to see him, along with ALL her team ,11 people! She wanted to tell him asap, she got it all! I later looked this up and only 5% of ops achieve this. He was still full of meds after the long surgery but he swore he owed her his life and would never smoke or drink a lot. He was offered meds to stop him drinking ,but 3 days later he refused, He liked a few pint! I went with him on a lot of his follow up appointments, they were monitoring other places but he had his 2 year survivor badge. He was a funny happy drunk, I dont drink but I loved being with him so we carried on our relationship. cracks started to appear, his own mother kept saying he said some terrible things to her, but I didnt see this. I started to see what she meant and I kept mentioning I would not be spoken to as he did. The final straw came when he shouted F off in a restaurant full of people. I knew it was futile to say me or the booze so I walked. It was so stressful when he had cancer, but I stuck by him. I couldnt be watch him kill himself, He tried for 8 months to win me back, but I knew how well he could lie so declined Yes I missed him but i knew it was his choice to drink and only his choice could stop it. Be strong love, but put you first like he is doing. Hazelx

Sugartaffy profile image
Sugartaffy

Thankyou Hazel, You sound so much like me fighting to save them and yet we cannot.its a choose they chose to do and nothing works unless they stop on their own...breaks my heart to see this but I am just stressing for nothing at the end..Merry Christmas!

Radnor profile image
Radnor

It is awful to see , especially feeling powerless to bring about any change.Its ironic that he is the alcoholic , I have cirrhosis , caused by methotrexate which was prescribed for psoriasis. I was told by my consultant to go on a very low carb diet. It was tough today because I went to my daughter's for Christmas Dinner. There was chocolates everywhere and my son in law cooked a fantastic meal. I stuck to just eating roast beef, green veg and one pig in blanket. I imagine what I felt was the same a stopping drinking? I said get thee behrind me Satan several times lol. I ate 'clean' and feel pleased . As a final attempt you could ask him what type of funeral he will want, get him told he needs to make a will too. Ensure he states what music or hymns he wants too.What clothes he wishes to be dressed in when he is dead If he intends to commit slow suicide this is the least he can do, while he still has the mental ability Even better if a Dr is present, Stop him trying to convince you he is Invincible. A long shot but worth a try. Do not apologise either, you are looking to show him what the future holds for him. If he doesnt care then you need to ask why should you? Love is a 2 way process, Look to your own future, Keep us updated, people care so much on here.xxx

Sugartaffy profile image
Sugartaffy

Hello Radnor, it was nice to hear you had a wonderful Christmas.God Bless you. Eating healthy for your liver is very important..Keep up the good work for you.My day was ok just had to listen to him complaint about pain all day.The Hermatoma is not going away so today he had a Ct Scan done,will find out more after the dr looks at Ct scan.He got everything ready,his Will,his living will,he want to be cremated..so that is all in order..yes, its slow suicide,for he is not willing to stay away from alcohol it makes me think he does not want live.He is at stage 3 of cirrhosis, it won't belong before stage 4 comes if he does not stop having alcohol. I tryed everything and still no out come of him stopping.so I just prepare myself that he be gone.i will be lucky to have him in 2019..its his 10th year this coming year of living with cirrhosis..just so sad to see this is happening to him. But Alcohol is his number 1 I am his number 2..I will let you more when I know something..Take Care continue be good to your Liver,you be okay..

Sugartaffy profile image
Sugartaffy

Very True I am his number 2..but continues to sneak and get his alcohol in.Living in denial is the hardest thing to go thru their thinking..it won't be long I see it already..so sad but I must accept it and think of me now..nothing I really can do..

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