My story, husband gets ill, decides to stop drinking to take antibiotic for a few days, he never considers withdrawal, goes into full dt's, hallucinations, pulling weapons out. Admit to hospital, goes insane, put in icu in induced coma. Seems liver is so bad, cirrhosis, ascites and hepatic encepalopathy- ammonia in brain, liver stored all the drugs, liver function poor, can't get him out of coma, give him a benzo antidote and opens his eyes. Still practically dies w necrotic gallbladder removal, has catheter, fecal cath, feeding tube and tracheostomy. Doesn't speak, appears paralyzed on right side, not responding appropriately. Weeks go by, physical therapy, and is walking, talking and back on his feet.
After all this, refuses any kind of aa, iop, discussion. Back at bar, drinking club soda and has no regard for the crap he put family thru. No remorse, change of ways and can't understand why i can't just move on. After all this, we are moving toward divorce. To top it off it seems i have ruined the marriage. How about not feeling any pain, discomfort or real feelings for 25 years? He is behaving like a 15 year old boy. Comments?
Written by
Sarena
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alcohol takes many prisoners. not just the one drinking the stuff, it can take whole families and ruin all your lifes. It seems you have looked after this man as you say for 25 years and now your getting blamed for ruining the marriage. Dont analysis why you cant move on, just do it. Your just like his mother and he is the little boy, dont tolerate this anymore as we only get what we tolerate, the thing is your not helping anyone at all by looking after your husbands every need. The best way forward is to leave and look after yourself. we cant change anyone with words the best way to change people is by example. you may be surprised how soon he will try to give up drinking and get help if you leave him to his own devices. You will also feel better too as it cant be nice looking at that every day and the fuss that goes with it. i know iv been there myself. there is an organisation for people who live or lived with alcoholics its called AL Anon here is the number. its full of people like yourself who have or are going through what you are and there you will find comfort and support wishing you all the very best. love grace xoxo 020 7403 0888
Hi Sarena.
Yep I've been where you are. Except my husband never recovered. I had to get him out of the house for my own sanity and to protect my children from witnessing their Father pouring the stuff down his neck and all the effects it causes.
It was only once he was living with his mother and realising just how ill he had become and that he could lose us that his medical team arranged 1 to 1 counselling for him. He was dry for 3 months but was so seriously ill that he was rushed to hospital to the high dependancy unit then icu where he died at just 54 with multi organ failure and bronco pneumonia. This was 8 years ago now.
I have since remarried, have 3 grownup stepsons, my children are now 19 and 25 and thriving but I'm still sensitive to their feelings of the loss of their Father when needed.
So life is now wonderful, happy and much much easier.
It's your life and your choice how you live it. It is harder than anyone can ever imagine just how hard it is to live with an alcoholic and you should not be made to feel guilty about cutting free from it so if you are ready to go, you must go .
Life's too short.... live it and enjoy it.
All the best. Laura xx
• in reply to
Great post laura (only just seen) - so sad but with a happy (as best as could be hoped for?) ending...
Miles
• in reply to
It was incredibly tough but it's this f*****g poison that strips the personality from the user. As for the family living with him, life is a constant rollercoaster of love and pity to extreme loathing. For the user it's a massive battle of wills and sadly for so so many the poison wins. I can forgive my husband for what he put us through , but will never forget. we all have an addiction of some kind even in some mild form which never effects anyone. But alcohol
just took over and destroyed everything that was good about my him.
• in reply to
Oh I’m really sorry to evoke such emotions- didn’t mean to 😕. No it would indeed be impossible to forget that..
But please keep posting your words of wisdom, I know and hope you will. You seem to be (have had to be) a very “strong “ person.
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What do you suggest?
Cirrhosis and help 
Decompensated liver disease
Hepatic coma
