Scared

[Chris-harris]

Hi, I'm a 45 year old male and am petriied of what is round the corner, I've been a heavy drinker for as long as I can remember, couple bottles of wine a night has become the norm, over the last couple of weeks I've noticed (and so has my wife) that the whites of my eyes have a yellow tinge to them, I'm feeling tired all the time yet struggle to sleep and my appetite has disappeared. As often happens I have googled everything and have myself dead and buried in a few months, I have promised my wife I will see the docs this week but I'm so scared of the future, I'm not looking for answers as I know thats impossible but would like to know oyher peoples expefiences and worries so i can find some balance, thank you, Chris '

[AyrshireK]

Chris, first off congratulations on realising you have a problem. Go to the doctors and get checked out, you need to be honest about your drinking habits and once you know what state your liver is in you can go about addressing it. Your liver is an amazing organ and even when substantially damaged it has the ability to heal (to some degree) if the toxins are removed. You are showing some signs that something is amiss (as you well know) so it is time to get this tackled before it becomes too late.

Wishing you the very best of luck, Katie

[Chris-harris in reply to AyrshireK]

Thank you for replying, I'm just so scared and am always a tad "glass half full" so expect the worst

[AyrshireK in reply to Chris-harris]

Even if it were that you have cirrhosis it is not insurmountable - my hubby has cirrhosis (due to auto-immune hepatitis) diagnosed April 2012 and apart from a few life altering symptoms he's still here. Providing you tackle the drinking (probably to the degree of life long abstinence from hereonin) you can improve your liver and go on for years - there are folks being treated by my hubbies specialist who have had a diagnosis of cirrhosis for 20+ years.

You need to tackle the drinking and things can improve.

Katie

[Kristian]

Hi Kris,

Katie (AyrshireK) is absolutely spot on in what she says. I couldn't add anything better.

The good news for you is that you are in absolute control of your future. Follow the advice you get and you'll give yourself the best chance of a successful outcome.

[Chris-harris]

Thank you,, guess I will know more after seeing the docs, I'm just so scared and not sure what to do with myself at the moment

[Hidden in reply to Chris-harris]

Please do as Katie days and make that appointment. Please take care.

[Chris-harris]

Thank you, I wil let you know how things progress, although I know you can't tell me what the future holds it means so much that people are there if things are not great and I need a little help c

[Chris17]

Please Don't worry I have been there. With the right Doctors u will be fine.

[19581979]

C

Good luck with the doctor visit. The unknown always throws up a lot of questions and fears. I think you have realised alcohol may well have to be a thing of the past. As you enjoyed wine, I am making an assumption that you may also need to think about some of the food you eat. The British liver trust has some good information on eating healthy.

I haven't drank for years but I always associated wine with food, hence my comment. Food and prescribed medication are likely to have contributed to my problems. I had to stop drinking due to my sinuses. Don't laugh I'm serious. After I had my first child I found I couldn't breathe properly when I even sipped the stuff. I couldn't even wear perfume made with alcohol. Upset my husband because my favourite port was being discontinued and we had very little money and he had bought a few bottles of my port for me. It was his thank you for our son. I couldn't drink it. I also couldn't wear my favourite perfume. Really messed up his ideas for what to buy me as I've never been a big jewellery person. Hope this gave you a giggle.

Take care and let us know how the doctor visit goes. Thoughts are with you and yours.

Gx

[Chris-harris]

I really can't thank you all enough for these messages, this is something I am so embarrassed about and know it's all my own doing so can't and don't to tell my friends etc. At the moment it's me and my wife who h is not really fair on her, I guess as things move on I will open up but at the moment I want to hide away x

[Billybib in reply to Chris-harris]

Nothing to be embarrassed about at all, you like millions of other people have enjoyed your wine and like millions of others we don't really stop to think about the damage we may potentially be doing (especially with something that makes us feel happy and relaxed) but you had the sense to take stock and with the right medical intervention etc you should be fine. A lot of people don't get the chance to do this. So look at the glass half full (of water) hehe. Try and keep positive and not to dwell or put yourself down. Best wishes for a good outcome and future.

Katie b

[Hidden in reply to Chris-harris]

My hubby decided to tell people, even though he was embarassed, but that is up to you and your wife. Maybe you will feel differently after you see the doctor and find out what is going on. Just an fyi - according to the liver doctor - in spite of what "people" think - most cases of cirrhosis are NOT caused by drinking.

Mary

[GrannyDoll61]

We found it easier after we removed all the alcohol from the house.Big life change and totally worth it

[Paulio]

I think you know the answer Chris; Stop drinking.

[L444]

Dear Chris you are not alone . With our age group the culture was very permissive of heavy drinking . The good news is you can turn it around what may be serious news from your docs may be the wake up call you need to slow down good luck find a good gastroenterologist and do what they say

[19581979]

Chris

We can't undo what is done, only learn. Looks like that is what you are doing. Just remember to appreciate any support your family gives you. If your friends are true friends they will support you if you are making the effort. If they don't they are not true friends.

We ran into a lot of problems years ago, it was hard but we found out who our friends were. We madness ones.

Gx

[Hidden]

Sending you good wishes. My husband, 20 years older than you, went to the hospital 2 years ago in liver and kidney failure and severe jaundice and a very poor prognosis. While there his kidneys came back, but he was diagnosed with severe liver cirrhosis due to alcohol. He was confused - thought I was one of his sisters - but came around in a couple of days. He decided he would quit drinking while in the hospital. The doctors were amazed that he walked out on his own and in good condition, relatively. We last saw his liver doctor this past June and the doctor said his prognosis is for at least another 20+ years. He has not had a drink since the hospital, his sleep is still disturbed, which seems to go along with cirrhosis and earlier I was fearful because he fell asleep a few times driving, but that has ceased. I think you should be looking at the glass as being half full at this point. I hope you can stop drinking completely as that seems to be one of the biggest issues for drinkers. The hubby's doc said the damage to his liver is significant so any alcohol would just increase the damage, but the biggest fear is if one starts to, drink again, one will just go back to the old ways of drinking too much.

Your wife will probably drive you nuts worrying, at least I do, but it is because she loves you and wants you around a long time.

Best wishes to you and your wife,

Mary

[Chris-harris]

Again I can't thank you all enough, I'm going to the docs tomorrow with my wife so will start my journey then, I'll keep posting on here as even though at the moment I know nothing you have all been so helpful, thanks again, chris

[briccolone in reply to Chris-harris]

Good luck with this Chris . Can’t add to the good advice other than treat google with caution- it’s a useful tool but I took myself into some dark places a few years back . You’ll get all the answers on this forum and with the docs. First step fess up to the docs about the drink-don’t be embarrassed - just say you’re concerned that drinking may be causing some issues-get the full liver blood tests and take it from there. Get copies of the tests and ask questions if things are out of kilter. Meanwhile stay off the sauce- you might be surprised how better you feel after 6 weeks dry. Cheers k

[Chris-harris]

I have just come back from the doctors, been sent for numerous blood tests, hit a sound and chest scan, he examine me and said he can tell there is fluid in my stomach, I assume ascites and now I'm more terriied than I was beforehand, googled everything as you do and booked in to write a will as have myself dead in a few weeks, I'm so scared and just want to hide away from the world, work have been fantastic and told me to stay off and fix myself but I'm not sure I can, this is all my own doing and I'm going to end up leaving a loving family alone because of my addiction. Thank you all for your help, I'm lost at the moment in a world of Google that has me dead in weeks and a family that love me to bits x

[Chris-harris in reply to Chris-harris]

Ultra sound not hit a sound

[Winnie73]

Hi Chris, I've just been reading your post and wanted to show you some support. I know it's hard but try to stay positive. Have you had your ultrasound or is it coming up? I feel for you and I understand the feelings of guilt. I am a 44 year old female and have drunk almost a bottle of wine every night for a good twenty years (I've got two young kids and a loving husband) I can understand how it easy it is to overdo it. Even if you are given a scary diagnosis (which if course, you might not!) there are many on here who will tell you you can undo significant damage and live for many years with cirrhosis so try to focus on getting well now. It's really important to eat well for liver health. I imagine stress is ruining your appetite, but skipping meals is a no go for your liver. Get lots of fruit and veg in you and also protein. Drink lots of water too. Exercise if you can. Try to feel a bit positive about doing everything you can to get well. I wish you well for your ultrasound. Sending positive thoughts. Winnie x

[Chris-harris]

Hi, not bad ultrasound yet but had bloods and chest x-ray just waiting game now which is horrible as can't sleep or thing straight x

[Chris-harris]

Not had ... or think ... sorry my phones poo (or fingers are to fat)

[Winnie73 in reply to Chris-harris]

Hi Chris, hope you're doing ok. I had bloods done last Friday and got results back on Monday morning. Might be worth a call to your GP tomorrow and see if your results are in. You could try and get an appt to discuss anything that comes up. At least you'd have some info then. I'm off for an ultrasound tomorrow at 10am then seeing the gastro at a different hospital at 2pm. Waiting isn't easy. Just keep looking after yourself. Keep us posted how you get on. x

[Chris-harris]

Thank you x

[Chris-harris]

Son had a fall last night and now in hospital, had chest scan, all good taken and ultrasound tomorrow. Bloods came back elevated for liver (not sure the scores) all other try and etc working fine.... stopped drinking for good now and going through detox, scared still of ultra sound etc but consultant did say the fact I'm not confused, teflexs all good and I'm up and about are all good signs, thanks again for your kind words x

[Winnie73 in reply to Chris-harris]

Hi Chris, good to see your positive update. I've been wondering how you were. Things sounding positive for you, which is brilliant! Sorry to read about your son tho. Hope he's recovering well? Try not to worry too much about the ultrasound, your liver is great at recovering and another ultrasound in six months will no doubt show huge improvement. Well done on kicking the booze! You're on the mend now and that's the main thing. My ultrasound was on Friday and things looked normal. I've had more bloods done to check my pancreas and then maybe an endoscopy to check my gastric situation so a sober Christmas and a waiting game for me too. Wishing you and your family well Chris. Take care and please keep us posted. 😊

[Chris-harris]

I have been in hospital for a week now, liver very high (240), legs swollen, yellow eyes and convinced I'm going to die, kidneys etc all good at the moment but I'm so panicked I can't sleep or think of anything bit death

[Eurotrash in reply to Chris-harris]

Hello Chris

I'm sorry you're feeling unwell.

What have the doctors said in hospital? Have you been diagnosed?

Ricard

[Chris-harris]

They said liver very swollen can't tell if cirrhosis or Not, on am sorta of drips etc bit to be honest I'm struggling to take it all in as all I can think about is dieing, I know that's not always the case but I'm worry over everything anyway so now am just thinking of my wife and kids that I will leave behind

[Eurotrash in reply to Chris-harris]

Ok Chris. This is a very hard moment but a) you are in hospital which is the safest place to be and b) cirrhosis doesn't mean you're going to die and you don't know if you have it.

It's very easy to go down the route of deciding what's going to happen.

Have you been given a diagnosis at all? How long have you been hospitalized? Have you told the doctors how you feel?

[Chris-harris]

Also to add I have completely stopped drinking

[Chris-harris]

No real diagnosis apart from liver very damaged, have told the docs everything and they say let's see what we can do, I then go on Google and have myself deac

[Chris-harris]

In for a week so far

[Hidden in reply to Chris-harris]

Chris-harris. How are you feeling at the moment? What were the elevated readings from your bloodtest? I strongly recommend you get a CT scan with contrast, they make you fast for 12 hours and you drink barium night and morning before the exam. Hope you get good news. Stay strong, Chris. You already gave up the drinking, that's a great start for your future.

[Chris-harris]

Been in hospital for a month and sent home in Monday... feel so weak and struggle to walk for any length of time. Lots of muscle loss and feel awful but not sure how long this will last. Trying to eat but feel sick a lot of the time... not sure what to do

[AyrshireK in reply to Chris-harris]

Sorry to hear your health took this dive, do try to eat, little and often with carbs and protein - don't over face yourself with too much food. Have you seen a dietician? They should advise on what you should be eating for the state of health you are in, you need to keep fuelled - there are supplementary drinks available on prescription which you can take to give you necessary vitamins, minerals and even calories. Although you are knackered you need to try and do little bits of exercise to keep mobile.

If you continue to feel hellish, back to doctors.

Katie

[Chris-harris]

2 weeks out of hospital and now eating like a horse, to many cakes but also salads fish eggs etc, have good days and fingers crossed they outway the bad at the moment. Still very weak but managed a 2 mile walk today which was better than the 10 steps I could make last week. Still not 100% sure what's what, consultant said no sign of scaring it cirrosis and the ice been very lucky, long term I don'tknow his plan

[Chris-harris]

One major problem I have is sleeping if anyone has any ideas x

[Winnie73]

Hi Chris. So glad to hear you're out of hospital and getting a bit stronger. Regarding sleep I guess it's just going to take time for your body to readjust? Great that you're eating well and exercising. Well done to you. Keep us posted how you're getting on. 😊

[Chris-harris]

Just come back from a camera down my throat (not medical term) ... found small varacus vies (vacis?) Which are an one I take of scaring although all scans show no scars ... confused yet again and got myself of death row.on plus side blood getting better each time and eating well now and also managing a mile or 2 walk each day .... any advice always welcome... Thanks all that have helped me so far

[Chris-harris]

I meant to say veins indicate cirrosis...sorry phone a pain

[Warrior1]

Chris i was diagnosed with Cirrhosis Class A, the least worst, if there's such a thing, on the Child-Pugh scale A to C. The important thing to remember is no matter what stage of damage caused by alcohol, that your body will get better and there are so many of us on the same journey as you. Just....whatever you do, don't pick up. I'm sober now 13 months. They can prescribe Baclofen among others to help with cravings. Good diet, exercise and maybe best to give your drinking friends a wide berth for a while - they'll understand - and i'd recommend AA as a great support mechanism. Try to stay positive. We're all rooting for ya...

[Chris-harris]

Im was rated a c on the child chart however that was when first admitted and was expected to last 2 days, bloods all going in right direction and consultant not panickng yet, said viens small and if required will treat with tablets. Its all very one step forward and then 3 back and each day i am trying to get my head round something new with a 100 people calling me to explain, feel like head will explode as i dont have any answers. Docs say could live a long and healthy life but still dont know the exstent of the cirrosis as no scaring. Its all very scarey. Regarding drinking not touched a drop in 2 months and not having any ever again

[Winnie73]

You're doing extremely well Chris. Keep up the good work. Take heart from the positive news your doctors are giving you about your bloods. As others will no doubt have said, your liver is an amazing organ and can recover and do it's job well with only part of it functioning. When my brother got sick we were told those early days of recovery were crucial. Eating and exercising like you are is fantastic news for your health. Positive thoughts are with you. x