I'm a 34 year old alcoholic with two children and I'm scared.

I'm unsure how I came across this site today. I've been binge drinking for years but I've also had many periods of abstinence. My most recently being 15 months with no alcohol at all. I relapsed in February and I've had a lot to drink since then. I don't know if I really have any symptoms that something is wrong with my organs but my mental health has really suffered. I have lots of help with my children 7 and 17. But I've been in bed since Friday feeling suicidal. I know I've been selfish and I've put alcohol before them but I really want to stay sober now. I really want to live if it's not too late already. If I didn't want help I wouldn't be writing this. I need some hope

[Marie1980x]

Hi huni my brother is an acholic has been for 16 years now he currently in hospital been in for a week he weights about 8 stone has a fatty liver because he was literally on deaths door he was lucky to be detoxd in hospital it's his 7 day today he will spend I week at home and he will go to rehabilitation for weeks he was very lucky as he nearly died my advice to you today is go to your doctors tell him you an acholic he can sign post you to the places you need to go for help they can detox you at home my Bro was to far gone for that option you depression is a symptom of alcoholism you must deal with the alcohol first before you can deal with your mental health I know more than anybody what it's like to see someone with alcoholism it's so hard and heartbreaking but there is the help out there you just need to take those steps and I hope that you will because the damage that it does to your organs is terrible life is beautiful remember that on your saddest days don't be ashamed embarrassed to go to your doctors and ask for help I know doctors frown at people who are alcoholics but believe me I know first-hand that if you're willing to help yourself they will go to Great lengths to help you I wish you all the luck in the world Marie x

[RodeoJoe]

Unless you've got symptoms or a diagnosis of liver disease lets assume you are physically OK. It sounds like you might be struggling mentally though. And this is probably causing the drinking which in turn can cause anxiety and depression and so more drinking etc etc.

I'm assuming you're single and responsible for your children, if you've been in bed since Friday then you have to be getting help with the 7 year old right? Please go and get some help, you need to go and talk to your GP.

[Hidden]

Firstly I should point out here that I am NOT a doctor or medically qualified. However, I suggest you seek professional medical advice. Don't bother going to your GP as it will most likely take 3-weeks to get an appointment. I suggest going to hospital as this my be a case of Hepatic Encephalopathy. Please don't get alarmed as a little knowledge can be a dangerous thing.

A liver function blood test would be the first course of action, this will tell how badly damaged the liver is.

Hepatic encephalopathy is a brain disorder and refers to the changes in the brain that occur in patients with advanced, acute or chronic liver disease and is one of the major complications of cirrhosis. Hepatic encephalopathy may occur suddenly in people with acute liver failure however, the condition is more often seen in people with chronic liver disease.

An important job of the liver is to change harmful substances that are either made by the body or taken into the body (such as medicines) and make them harmless. However, when the liver is damaged and unable to function fully, these “toxins” may build up in the bloodstream.

HE occurs when the liver cannot remove chemicals, such as ammonia, from the blood. These chemicals then enter the brain, and can affect both the mental and physical condition of patients.

Mild symptoms may include:

• mild confusion

• forgetfulness

• personality or mood changes

• poor concentration

• poor judgment

• stale or sweet odour in their breath

• change in sleep patterns

• worsening of handwriting or small hand

movements.

Severe symptoms may include:

• unusual movements or shaking of hands or

arms (also known as “flapping”)

• extreme anxiety

• seizures

• severe confusion

• sleepiness or fatigue

• severe personality changes

• jumbled and slurred speech

• slow movement.

HE can be an emergency and so it is important to seek advice from your doctor as soon as your symptoms begin. If you have been diagnosed with HE and you feel like your condition is worsening or your symptoms are changing, it is important that you are seen by a medical professional as soon as possible.

This information is available from the BLT website and a free copy can be downloaded from the publication section. - Good Luck.

[Hidden]

At least your willing to admit it. That's the first step. I wish that I knew what to say and how to help but I don't. I'm sending you positive vibes and healing wishes. I do know that a program is needed. Good luck to you and your family

[dckimberly]

Hi there and welcome! I'm sober 8.5 years I've been where you are, trust me.

And it does not matter how little or how much you drink....it matters why.

We have an illness, a disease. One that will kill us, or try too!

Can I suggest an AA meeting? They literally saved my life. It does not matter where you come from, gender, ethnicity religion or lack there of. Alcoholism can hurt anyone at anytime.

You may want to see your gp also..ask for help.

If you have been drinking everyday you may need a medical detox, so you don't have any seizures.

Either way, I'd Do both. I did.

And today I have the greatest relationship with my kids and family.

You don't want to end up here, trust me.

We are all suffering from liver disease. Myself got a new liver in late 2015 and it's not working right, so I'm back on the waiting list..this time for a liver and a kidney. My drinking and Hep C did all this too me.

I hope you get better and get help!

Cheering you on!

Kimberly

[Geffy22]

Hi hun, firstly well done for opening up on here, the blt has loads of great advice.

Secondly, plesse see your GP, call for an emergency appointment, they'll fit you in. Your GP will then refer you to a specialist as appropriate, but will start the ball rolling for you.

There is a reason some people are addicted to things and others arent so dont feel bad, its just how you are - with help you can be free of the addiction.

The liver is fabulous at self generation, so eben if it has some damage you can live a long life, so please dont despair. You need the test results to know whats really happening.

Sending you a big hug and strength hun xoxo

[Jahida]

There is lots of great advice here. I hope you will seek help and get better for your children. It is never too late to better yourself. I'm glad you have realised you need help and hopefully you will get better and your liver hasn't been affected.

Good luck

[Hidden]

hi ,never give up trying to give up alcohol,I have relapsed many many times,14 detox,s,13 relapses,rehabs,day programs,cbt,anti-buse,counselling ,intuitive recovery,smart recovery,also,then was told I had cirrhosis and the doctors said to me if I carried on drinking I would be dead with in 2 years,I got total acceptance that day around my alcoholism,and walked back into the rooms of A/A,and got hope for the first time in years,give it a go ,go to a few meetings ,if you don't want to go by yourself give the a/a helpline a call and they can arrange for somebody tq go with you,I'm 2 years 3 months now,(a day at. A time),my health is improving and also my mental health,don't beat yourself up about relapse ,it happens,learn from it and move on,in a/a we don't shoot the wounded ,all the best Tony,