Well it has been nearly 6 months since that dreaded abdominal pain had started. I'm quite annoyed because when the consultant arranged an MRI he didn't bother looking at the pancreas even though I had mentioned if it could be that. Well, now they want a CT scan to check the pancreas. What I don't understand is they spend the money to arrange an MRI so why not take the opportunity to check everything possible that could be causing it?
I can't even explain in words how bad the pain is. When it starts, I feel like blacking out so I Dont have to feel this pain. I feel like actually dying and wish my life would end. I have a high pain threshold but this is on some other level. I've gone through childbirth, I've had a c-section and an infection along with it and then I've had a transplant and believe me, the pain is worse than that.
My GP arranged for me to see a gastro and he just had a look at the MRI from my liver consultant and discharged me from his care. I received the letter today and I was upset. I felt like I was left stranded and told to deal with this pain. There are a million reasons why I'm having this pain and he just looked at the MRI when there was no report about my pancreas and left me on my own. Awkwardly I have an appointment with him via BUPA as my liver consultant suspected h.pylori but guess what? No where do they carry a stool test and the breath test would be negative as I take lanzaprazole anyway. So I had to arrange a private biopsy. This is what I mean, the gastro doctor didn't even wonder whether it could be this bacteria.
The last time the liver consultant looked at me like I was some freak. He asked if I'm worried and depressed? Of course I am depressed. I've gone past worrying, I don't care if they say there's something serious wrong with me because at least there will be a reason to why I'm in this pain. He then went onto say I'm anxious. I remember this was the diagnosis I had when I was going through liver failure. I was apparently having a break down when deep down I knew I was really poorly and there was a cause.
I went to Disneyland Paris for a break with my children. One of the days I was in agony. I was vomiting and had loose stool at the park. I was actually crying! But i managed to hang on and let my kids have fun.
I do know when I eat egg that I get this pain and along with it I get diarrhoea and vomiting. And so I have stopped eating egg products and cut the milk out but I still get this pain. I hardly eat out anymore or even go out much because of the pain. I have limited my diet and to be honest I'm developing a phobia with food almost.
I wish they would know how I am dying inside in pain. I'm not so good at crying to the doctors but the last appointment after seeing my consultant I saw the mental health nurse and explained to her and cried. She said it does not sound like anxiety pain and was quite angry and wrote a letter to the consultant who then arranged a ct scan.
What shocks me is if I didn't have bupa I'd have been left stranded. I'd have no one to perform this biopsy to check for the bacteria.
I was given amitriptylene and that's doing nothing for me. I've been on it for about 2 weeks and it has given me dry mouth.
I just feel I'll be living the remainder of my life in pain and quite miserable to be honest.
I just needed to have a rant as I've got no one to speak to. I have two little children and I'm constantly snappy with them because of the pain. I have no patience to do anything with them either.