Weak here but sad update

First I want everyone to know your messages of love are helping me so much. I am in too much pain to write to each of you today. All my doctors dismissed me today. They do not want to see me again ever. They said no pain drugs b/c I am refusing their treatments. They said it was illegal for them to prescribe them. They turned me over to hospice and I must wait in pain eating 300-500 calories a day for a week now. The rejection is horrible so I am processing that while lying here in pain. The U. S. Is all about capitalism. They could have made $500,000 if I had done the treatments. You do not get much empathy here from the doctors just cold and clinical. So you are so meaningful to me. My heart beats with all of yours. Aloha

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  • So sorry you can't get medication there makes no sense, here in Michigan you can refuse treatment and get needed pain Meds my mom did this. You are in my thoughts here I wish I could help in some way I don't know anyone there though . Will check on you tomorrow Aloha πŸŒΊπŸŒΈπŸ’πŸŒ·πŸŒ»πŸŒΌ

  • ❀️️😒 Rest easy our friend. Aloha x

  • That is just wrong, sorry this is happening to you, thank you for sharing, I hope you can rest and someone prescribes you what you need.

    Aloha πŸ‡¨πŸ‡±

  • That is just shocking to hear. I hope the hospice can offer the right support that you need. My heart goes out to you. Don't give up, endure...You are an amazing woman. Tune into the love and light we are all sending you. Xxx

  • What a terrible thing to do to someone in such pain and at your stage; i can only hope for you that somehow your pain may ease; maybe there is time for your son to try another doctor for you? I hope the Hospice people are doing their best to make you feel as comfortable as possible; hugs and love always xxx

  • 😒 Thinking of you always my prayers are with you can't say anything else just that you are my inspiration.......Maria x

  • That's shocking! I wish this was not the case for you, pain relief is another choice one you cannot choose? Sending you love xx

  • So glad I got out of the US when I did..I'd be dead by now. Not a candidate for tx there, but here I am about to go on the list for my second one and an extra organ to boot!

    So grateful they have not given up on me.

    Oh love....my heart goes out to you! I am soooo sorry and hate that you are in pain and feeling alone.

    Do you have any extra medicine there? Like saved up? I write that knowing it's impossible to even get pain pills, let alone hoard them for a rainy day..like today.

    My mother told me to save any and all xtra pills in case I came across a doctor who was going to do bad by me, or, as in your situation, to be pain free at the end.

    Not sutr what treatments you mean?

    Sorry, I've been sick and in hospital myself and have missed a lot.

    I feel lucky to have seen this!

    Please know I love you and am sending good thoughts that this will allll be over soon.

    You have fought the good fight my friend..and a person can only take so much, especially with little to no food or pain relief.

    Cheering you on and waiting WITH you from the U.K.

    YOU ARE Not Alone!!!!


    Aka American pickle

  • Hello could I ask if your transplant was due to liver cancer? I can't get one let alone two!


  • How barbaric to let you suffer. Let's hope the hospice find hearts to give you pain medication.

    I hope you are still able to use meditation Catfishjumpin

    Sending you strength and love from a small rural village in Leicestershire England xxx

  • Hang in there cat....aloha

  • I have been searching for the right words to send you since you posted. There are no "right" words. All I know is that there are some people on this Earth who have spirits so beautiful and strong that they touch and open the hearts of others, giving them the extra hope and strength to live as brightly and fully as possible. They teach others how to live! During the few months I have been a member of this forum I can tell you are one of those persons. I wish I could shoulder some of your pain to ease your suffering, even if just a little. I am in my 60s now and was never in a hospital until this summer. I gave birth to my four children at my home in the woods. Childbirth pain was easy to suffer through because the love was so strong and the end result was so beautiful and wonderful. I know you have studied Buddhism. If there is any way you can focus on the love being showered upon you by family, friends and all those who have been inspired by you maybe that will help. Maybe trying to focus on Earth's beauty will help. Wish I could send you a photo(s) (haven't learned how yet) of some of the beautiful sacred spots from where I live, the panhandle of Florida. I enjoy kayaking on the many streams around here and being out in the remote wild areas. From the photos you have posted I can see that the area you live in is also very beautiful. I will always carry this image of you hooping or cycling - feeling the wild forces that surround us - letting your hair blow free. Sending you love and part of my heart from Florida. πŸ’• My wish is that Hospice will somehow come through for you and find a doctor who will prescribe morphine to ease your pain.


  • Hattss so beautiful I am crying. If you write any post there is anoption there to attach image. It might say post title so just write florida. In the post box just say photos to share then it has an upload. I am thank to have been help here. I got so much love here. I will post in morning. I spent today with hospice. They are wonderful. ❀️ Like you. Aloha

  • Wishing you all of my love and you are in my thoughts

    Love Julie xxx

  • Hank youβ€οΈπŸ’•

  • Hi cat just want to wish you well hope you get the pain meds you need thinking of you

    Love cheli xxxxx

  • We hope the hospice can give you the care you need.

    Best wishes from us all at The British Liver Trust.

  • dear friend, I hate that you are suffering. it's wrong that the doctors and their pharma should have so much power at this time when they should be helping and caring. I hope the hospice will give you ease. comfort, and grace. you have many friends here and we all wish we could do something...will continue to check in with you and keep you in my thoughts. much love and hugs xxxxx

  • πŸ™πŸ™πŸ™

  • Sending unconditional, pain relieving, compassion and tenderness from NZ xx

  • πŸ™πŸ™πŸ™β€

  • Only u know when to say,right enough already,sleep gently .

  • ❀

  • My heart breaks to read this. To be left in agony it is despicable. But you're strong and I know you will fight it and be as brave as you are.

    I just feel so sad but I hope your journey will be easier. This is what I always hoped for my father that passed away with lung disease. I hope you will have your loved ones around you to give you comfort and ease xxx

  • So sad for you Catfishjumpin. I hope you find some solace here at least I have been reading your posts. I don't know you at all except as one very brave human soul who deserves so much better for all the care you extend to others.

  • Thank you πŸ’•πŸ’•πŸ’•

  • I just don't understand the American health care system...what they're doing to you is just barbaric. As Kimberly says I'm so glad we have the NHS and just hope there are more caring souls around you now. Love winging it's way to you..x

  • Ah but hospice is wonderful. I got my bed morphine so much love and they are on call 24-7. Post soon. Big day but full of love and help.

  • Escape from the pain, let the meds flow and ease the fatigue. Time to find peace and harmony for your weary soul..xx

  • Hi, I really hope you get the peace you deserve. Sending lots of love from the freezing cold UK. Xx

  • So gland you have help there hope they sort the pain for you you are in my thoughts xxx

  • How are you doing today?

    Aloha πŸŒΊβ˜€οΈπŸŒΈπŸŒ»πŸ’πŸŒΌβ€οΈ

  • Post soon but hospice is like a flock of angels

  • Overwhelming and humbling at the same time I imagine x

  • A hospice in Scotland looked after my mum for her last days and they were amazing too. So glad these oasis of calm, care and live exist. Wonderful people. Glad to hear you're pain free at last...lots of love. Adele xxx

  • Sorry should have said love! Freudian? xxx

  • Thank God for the NHS here in UK. But Obamacare, which was meant to address the skew between premium and outcome, was so unpopular! Why?

  • That's only the republicans who hate it. They now want our Medicare and our social security. Medicare just provided me with all free care. Portable oxygen tanks, a real one bedside the hospital bed they brought in, they gave me morphine, a nurse, a nurse helper just to bathe a shower chair wheel chair portable bedside toilet if I wish a social worker free depends latex gloves a doctor that comes once a month then to the house 5 days a month of a private nurse. Now they are finding me a house keeper. They are all here off and on every week. They said they can get a chaplain or Buddhist to sit with me. It's Medicare benefits covered from 1/3 of our pay checks every month for our working lives just like social security. Republicans are not into the people except for getting our money. The democrats fight for us to keep our hard earned privileges. Thank you for ur love. Aloha

  • That's great news to know you are at least comfortable and not alone. I am also glad to know you are able to eat a little. The photo is lovely 😊

  • So glad that you are now receiving more care. Been thinking of you lots. Big hugs from the UK. Xxx

  • Oh Catfish. My heart goes out to you. You've been - and are still - so brave, and brave is a word I never use lightly.

    I'm not religious, so praying for you doesn't seem right, but I'm sending you every last bit of love I can muster (whilst trying very hard not to cry).

    Keep fighting - I know you won't stop. Take care, sweetheart. You're in ALL our thoughts x x

  • You have been in my thoughts every day Catfishjumpin. May ease and gentleness surround you. We are all here and that's around the globe!! Wishing the very best for you to have exactly what you need.

    Ann X

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