otherwise we shall not be able to keep the mind strong and clear."
Buddha was spot on with this... as I have discovered !
Warning...Floss ramble!
Hello people! Here I am, writing my own post, it has been quite a while! Maybe not the correct place to be, but I always feel amongst many, many of my friends, here on Bridge
I am posting this, because I love writing as you well know, and in the hope, that if anyone is struggling as I was and striving to get back to being themselves again, it may help
The last run I did, was the Race for Life on Saturday 26th September...no runs since then.
Without going into boring details, suffice it to say, without realising it, over the months since lockdown began, I had, unwittingly, and unintentionally, run myself, physically and mentally into the ground! I do have responsibilities, less than some but more than others. Overthinking, over worrying, combined with too many faster( for me), runs and too little fuel; the deed was done and culminated in a visit from the paramedics ( +ambulance) in the early hours of a Sunday morning in October!
Thank you, thank you, NHS
My issues are nothing, as compared with so, so many folk, including all our awesome runners here, but they needed to be addressed
So!
What have I been doing...well...initially, not a great deal but, with amazing support from my daughter and wonderful S-in -L, I have been back on track almost from the word go. The most important thing was to maintain a form of normality. We often have a choice; do we give up, or do we carry on, and so, the day after my blip.. small runner in training was here with me, full of life, full of joy and full of love!
Exercise wise; that has been easier to handle... plenty of core strength work from our excellent forum and plenty of different routine exercises which work for me. I use Yoga with Adrienne and Bodyfit with Amy, which gives me a range of short, low impact but useful workouts... and also some longer ones. Two days with small one count as real work out days too! I am getting stronger and muscle tone is coming back ( always a problem with increasing age
I am going to mention eating! I have been so guilty of ignoring the advice I dish out so freely! To achieve the performance, you need the fuel! Yup... ! So I am now on a carefully monitored, protein rich, eating regime with loads more heathy but protein filled food! Some real treats in there too! I am also on the list for cognitive therapy... but as yet, clearly, am not in as dire need as other folk! I await my first phone consultation !
Anyway, enough of my sorry tale... as this is a post about running... here goes. Yesterday I got out...not for a run, but for a walk, which I hope will lead to a run very soon!
I headed out, in the afternoon. very late for me, having arranged to meet small runner in training and Mama, on my beloved fields. Togged up against a chill wind and in my walking and not running shoes, I left home.
My heart was in my mouth as I walked out. Grey above but with a hint of brightness left over from morning. I took in all the scents, the sounds and sights, that I have missed, on the familiar route down to the fields.
Breathing easily though, I focused on Laura's voice, from C25K, 1,2,3,4; 1,2,3,4 and soon I was heading up the hill, towards the field and past Rookery Wood.
Part of my C25K route nearly five years ago... stark and silent, the trees bereft of their feathered friends, and only dark tattered nests clinging to the topmost branches. I felt a poem in my head; one for later though, on and up with a quickening pace towards the field path and the welcome sight of small one and Mama! Delight all around, as we set off across the fields, with small one leading the way towards the river and the sidings of the Foxfield.
A good pace, as small one can really move, even in wellingtons. Hide and seek in the huge Cuckoo field, so called, as in Summer, it is full of Cuckooflower, ( Lady smock). It is quite tricky to play hide and seek in a field with no trees or shrubs... easier to crouch down if you are four! The hay field, cut short now and the cow cakes that were there last time I walked, are stored for the winter. Hedges have had trims and new fences and posts abound. The sidings are overgrown and the skeletal remains of old steam engines have disappeared from view.
With small one's hand in mine we set off towards the crop field... the crops which attacked my legs, so viciously and tried to upend me more than once, during the summer have been harvested and the winter wheat is already three or four inches high. Small one and I pause and watch a skylark, ascending, higher and higher with the perfect notes of its song following its climb, crystal clear in the empty sky. A moment to store, in my jar of memories tucked high on the shelves for long winter nights. The pond dipping, pond , out of reach now, in the midst of the new growing crop, shadowy and slightly sinister against the sky,
Mama catches up and we walk, chatting quietly together across the pathways and down the by ways, where she walked in the days, just before small one was born. Tangled hedgerows, bramble-wrapped and hawthorn-edged are small one's very own Brambly Hedge and we try to spot the little mouse characters as we walk by. Hipped and hawed and holly-berried , the first wonderful glossy shades of winter are showing themselves.
My legs were beginning to tire and the sky was darkening, as we turned reluctantly towards home. I was drinking in the clear air, the very essence of the earth filling my lungs and despite the oncoming chill, the place was warming my heart and my very soul. My legs work, I have still got the strength to walk and talk and be myself; that feeling was almost overwhelming. We had walked for a long time and small one was beginning to tire...we left each other with goodbyes full of love and promises of better times... and small one reminding me that when she comes on Monday we are attempting to make our own Brambly Hedge dwelling!
I walk down the lane and past the wood, the shadows have lengthened and there are strange shapes in the trees and undergrowth. I pulled my jacket tighter around me, I feel the cold more since I lost some weight, and jam my hat down over my head. Up the bank towards home and a very welcome cup of tea. The legs still felt strong, but I know that I have walked three miles. Not far you say? It was enough. My friends here know that I am forever slow and steady, and I intend listening to my body much more carefully from now on!
The sky is dark as I round the corner of the Close... home beckons and I am greeted by a relieved husband and a welcome cup of tea... It was not speedy, it was not far, but it was done and some things are really, really worth waiting for.
Whatever you are doing, whatever you are feeling, it is is good to know that we are not alone. We are in this together and we will weather this dreadful storm. My mantra as you know, slow and steady... I have a new addition right now, in the word cannot... my aim is to lose the 'not' and find the 'Can'.
We can... and we will!
Safe, happy running everyone!
Floss
PS
Is anyone still awake ? x
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Floss, beautifully written, and yes, we can and we will
I wondered how you were and relieved to know you are healing and our in the fresh air, running and playing with small one, time spent talking to her mum is so valuable too
Look after yourself and keep going slow and steady
Oh what a beautiful post! A delightful description of a walk with those dear to you in these awful times. I hope you are being very kind to yourself. As someone who has run also run themselves into the ground on a few occasions (not through running😂) , I do empathise. When you are feeling strong enough to run, that will help I'm sure. We push ourselves too hard in life! 🤗
The running was, I thought, my stress relief...I forgot to feed it though! Strange, strange times...but moments like this make things feel real and we realise what is important in our lives. Thank you x
Well that was a lovely read Oldfloss, always a pleasure to read more tales of small runner in training 😁 and a great reminder for us all to take good care of ourselves, and to value what we can do, not get bogged down in what we can’t. So glad you’re on the mend and back to finding treasures for your jar, what a joy to share such simple pleasures with loved ones and then keep it in your jar to enjoy another day 🤗
Thank you for those kind words, and yes... sorting the real issues the ones we can do something about and letting those others go...tricky but not impossible to achieve.
Small one is a joy... she lights up all our lives My memory jar is getting pretty full right now xx
Lovely post as always Oldfloss. Life has taken some strange turns for so many of us this year🙁 but with our physical and mental health being paramount it’s good that we’ve still got our running, walking or whatever exercise to help us through👍That, and the friendship and companionship of so many friends on here that we’ve never met face to face, but we know so well nonetheless😊.
We must all do what we can to keep this community going and support each other through these difficult times. Best wishes 🙂
Darling Floss, I am so sorry you’ve had such a hard time of it, but so pleased to hear that you are back on track and able to enjoy your times with tiny runner in training.
Husband and I are babysitting tomorrow afternoon for middle grandsprocket - the speedy one - and I’m hoping the rain will hold off long enough for us to go for a walk together.
I hope you get that walk in, these small ones are so good for our well being aren't they! Currently pouring here! It has been and is still an odd time, and so many are suffering right no, but together we will get there...thank you xx
💕 Take care, dear Floss. Be the skylark when you can, and hang in there for the next outing with small runner when skylarking is too hard. We are all with you. 🍁🥰
Gorgeous post OF, very happy you are on the mend and getting out there again. Love the can and will, its strong and positive, in fact a lot like you really. 🥰 xx
You bet I’m still awake Oldfloss! Once again you’ve surpassed yourself with your beautiful writing! I’m so glad you’re on the up again , what a fright you had! Now you’re getting outside again - and how lovely that your runner in training is able to join you! You’re back with us again and for that a huge thank you - enjoy those outings and look after yourself!
Thanks you... I do feel a lot easier in my mind now and that s impacting on the rest of me! It was scary, but we have to move on and not dwell on things and that is what I am trying to do. It s great to have small on to keep me grounded too and we have so, so much fun.
I’ve missed your rambles Floss. It’s good to have you back. I hope you are fully recovered now and that things will get easier. It’s been a really tough time but fingers crossed we are currently bumping along the bottom before we start getting out of this mess. Think how much we’ve already been through, we can get through it! 🤗🤗🤗
Like so many, I am afraid... and I do feel a bit silly having not realised what was happening ! But, on the way now and however long it takes I will get there
Love and hugs received, with thanks. Stay safe you! x
Please don't blame yourself, it usually happens in such small increments we really can't see it (unless we are trained to watch out for it) until it's advanced. 💖😘
Oh Floss, you make my senses go into overdrive with your posts; your writing is so beautiful! You also made my eyes leak a little 💖 Take good care of yourself you lovely human. Another quote from the Buddha "All things are impermanent. This too shall pass." One day this will be over .... keep looking after yourself 💖🦋💖
Thank you so much for your moving post Oldfloss . Even without the photo you paint such a beautiful picture. So even if I don't know you, I'm sending you hugs 🤗
Thank you...it was a very evocative walk and the wood, roused feelings in me which I have since, put into a piece of prose!
The rooks will return and the whole place will transform after the winter months. It is a wood that has featured in many of my past posts and it never ceases to amaze me how much I see there
I feel the same.. I know what number I am age wise, but completely ignored the fact that the body was demonstrating that there were certain things I did at 30, that I could not hope to achieve at 70!
Lesson learnt, and time to as you say, be kind to myself Thank you!
Wonderful to have you back OF. The song of the skylark is so lovely, it recalls memories of a few years ago when I lived on the edge of Dartmoor. They always accompanied our walks.
Such a beautifully written and moving post dear Floss💕 mindful for others who may be struggling too, showing that there is a way forward, in a wonderful Floss ramble.
You have rather a lot to deal with we know, it's not surprising that you lost sight of yourself with everything closing in around you. Thank goodness you were reassured and helped when you needed it most. So pleased you are getting physically stronger each day and finding that Flossness again!
Thank you for sharing your lovely walk/adventure with us, it was a joy to read, we all looked in the Brambly hedge for those little mice with you.
I hope before long your confidence in your ability returns and you pop your running shoes back on, slow and steady of course, because you Can, and we will be there with you every step of the way.
I had to look up Brambly Hedge, not being British, and found it similar to Peter Rabbit about whom we are all familiar.... Delightful!
I've been wondering how you're doing and am glad to hear your positive update. I am holding to my modest attempts to "move" here and even very modest improvements such as adding another sit-up, seconds to my plank, and the like; the pandemic rages around us. We had an 80% (!!!) rise of covid in two weeks and I now know of three relatives who have or have had it. Yikes! These are trying times.
Our leaves have fallen and the woods behind us are once again inviting us to walk with our dog there; I figure it is safe there from covid and I am glad it is clear--something nice to do outdoors!
They are indeed wonderful stories, and so enjoyable to read either with small ones, or on your own!
Yes, we need to keep moving and stay strong and you sound as if you are doing well ! The rises in the pandemic are frightening and the number of cases that get even closer to us make it even more so. It becomes very, very, real!
Enjoy the lovely Autumnal walks... we need all the fresh air and clean air! we can get. Stay safe you and thank you !
Glad to hear you’re up and at em once again. Walking is lovely and so therapeutic, especially when it’s still quite warm. These autumn days are gorgeous, and getting out seems a proper treat. A relief from gloomy news 😃
Thanks you... yes, wham ! It came out of the blue and was a real wake up call, but, as you say, on the way again and looking forward to a lot more walking, particularly when permitted in the areas I love in Derbyshire!
We need all the joy we can find at this time... I have to admit, I listen to the news only once a day now.
Oh OF, so sorry to hear this. I can't run anymore but do lots of walking instead. C25K set me up in good stead for that and I'm very grateful. Your post pinged up in my emails. It's sounds like you've been looking after everyone else and perhaps neglecting yourself. So easily done when you have a lot on your plate. This year has messed with us in many ways and it's been hard, I've found it tough and I didn't think that I would. It affects us in unexpected ways.
I love reading your posts, you are a true story teller, such skill and warmth in your writing.
I worked for Jill Barklem about 25 years ago for a couple of years. To see her original drawings in 'full scale' (they were huge!) was a real privilege. She was a lovely person, so talented.
I'll always be grateful to you for the encouragement you so willing gave me in my early days on C25K. I hope you have people around you to look after you while you are on the mend. It sounds like it. Take care xxx
Oh my, how good to hear from you ! How are you? I loved all your posts !
Yes, that s what happened and I was told that in no uncertain terms; but now I simply have to take care of me a tad more. I had not realised how it was impacting on me and there are so many folk in the same position!
How wonderful to have worked with Jill... small one loves the stories and we have the book with all the recipes and the designs for houses etc. We act out the tales many times too! I am not sure how our house design will go, but I have a little set of mice to put in to it!
I wish there were some soft toys to match her wonderful characters, it must have been amazing to see the original works.
You did so well with C25K and the joys of walking are wonderful. I am going to be doing a lot more!
I am blessed with daughter and son in law.. my husband is fantastic, but in the early stages of dementia , it can be tricky at times
It is so kind of you to respond, take care of yourself and please, do pop in here now and then maybe
You can buy a BH pattern book on Amazon if you want to make your own stuffed toys!
Do take it easy and look after you, so often this is the hardest thing, we don't know how to do it! Everyone else yes, yourselves - never! But you must. I'm so sorry about your husband, I have experience of dementia and I know that support & respite for you in whatever form you need is essential. It's not selfish at all, it's very necessary.
Take good care and you know everyone on here 'has your back', just like you've had theirs at every turn, over the years. They'll want to be there for you xx
It was lovely to read this and I am sorry to hear that you have been going through so much. I agree with you completely with taking things slow and steady as that has become my motto more and more as I have become older 👍. Slow and steady still gets you there 🥳 and goes hand in hand with Frank Sinatra’s song My Way 🤗 just keep moving and take your time to enjoy the scenery xx
Lots of hugs sent your way Oldfloss. The knock on effects of this pandemic are immense and with everything else you have to contend with, it is not surprising that you were knocked off balance. I am so pleased that you have the support you need and little runner in training is back in your life to bring back that sense of fun that only children can.
You are so strong . You can and you definitely will and all those snails will be there waiting for you.
Beautiful writing as ever. Missed you Old Floss, glad you're on the mend. Difficult times we are in, you are not alone. Stay strong and take care of yourself, one step at a time X
What a lovely account. You write so well Oldfloss. I'm so sorry to hear you've been struggling but glad to hear you're fighting back. One step at a time is all it takes even if it's not always forwards!
Thank you ! You are right,,, just standing and taking a step wherever is a good thing. One of the strategies I am having to learn, is to step aside from myself, and look at myself and comment on how I respond to things! It is weird. But works.. !
You know the important things in life - family and health. Small ones in particular are very healing and now you’re htaking your own very wise advice you’re back on the right track All your VRBs are happy to hear that!! 🤗
So sorry to hear you’ve been unwell I’ve missed your posts they are always so beautifully written and so inspiring. Thank you 🙏. Sending you hugs to speed your recovery. 💕
ps.. Me & Sue did a virtual runner Remembrance Sunday 5krun last Sunday, and still waiting for the medals! (they must be busy) will put on a photo when we get them..
That run also counted as a NOT Parkrun, so some good motivation there..
Oh Floss, I am so sorry to hear you are unwell. I’ve just returned to the forums after a hiatus and have been wondering how you were getting on. Take care of yourself, enjoy the precious time with little one and you will be back as strong as ever. One step at a time.
I enjoyed your ramble and getting to go on a walk with you and your little one. Eloquently written, as always!
Thank you my friend... just another result of this tricky time I think! It really is a matter of taking t gently and as you say, enjoying those precious times which give us so much strength!
Apart from my duties on here I have lost track of my friends... I do hope to rectify that! Did I read that you have had snow already!
Thank you for coming with us.. you would love small one! Stay safe you x
Yes, we had a wicked blizzard last week that the city is still trying to dig out from. That combined with more snow and more winds makes for a lot of snow drifts making walking and driving an experience. Our street was cleared the first day but it is hard to tell now with all the blowing snow. I suspect winter is here to stay for us, although there are 2 days next week just above zero so tough to say. I'm working on getting my snow running legs back. I went for an hour long run today and could sure feel it. It isn't fast and it isn't pretty but it is still very therapeutic 💕
So sorry to hear that you have been having a difficult time 😕 but so pleased to read about your walk. your beautifully worded ramble made me feel sad and happy. All the best too you.
Like so so many, Sue. Folk struggling with really dreadful issues. For me..it was a,frightening thing but..I am lucky to have love and support..and friends here have lifted me up.
The walk was needed and so special...hopefully the beginning of a way forward.. back to me..and running.
Beautiful... you write so well. Thank you for taking the time to share your walk with us all.
Sorry to hear you have been unwell - but good to know you have family to help and support you as well as inspiring countryside around you. Love and best wishes for your recovery to running. x
So,so true...Mother Nature...and time...hand in hand... healing and nourishing xxx Thank you xxx
I am so pleased to see you are on the mend. A beautiful walk and the opportunity to take joy in the small things that ground us and make life worth living. Take care of yourself (mind and body) and allow others to take care of you too x
Thanks you...everything suddenly comes into perspective...and luckily..I love this time of the year...so more walks are planned! Small one is delighted! X
So glad to hear that you're on the mend and being kind to yourself; you give so much to others both on here and elsewhere from the sounds of it (I know that a couple of your encouraging replies to me on here made me feel really touched) - keep giving yourself that compassion and time to breathe too.
Oh goodness Oldfloss, what a fright and tough time you have had- big hugs winging to you. 🤗🤗🤗
I think an inevitable part of being a Mama (at all ages & stages) is to look after everyone else & somehow looking after yourself disappears into the ether. I’m so pleased that you are on the mend & have a path to better health & times.
I have been thinking of you & wondering how you & Mr OF are - and so pleased to hear from you. Enjoy your special times with Small Runner (and have a big dollop of what Mr E calls “plumbed in slack” after she goes home!) My own dear Mum loved her time with my children when she came to stay with us, but wisely found times to have a rest and recharge her batteries afterwards.)
As always, your ramble is beautifully, lyrically written & a great pleasure to savour. 😄
Thank you so much...all too easy to forget that to stay a good Mama..we need to take care ourselves..you are right!
I hope that I have the common sense to keep in taking it gently..not push or try too hard..and to keep on going with the flow. Right now..a small glass of wine and nibbles...after a long full on day with small one!
Mr OF is okay... some times things are tricky.. but we are adopting strategies!
Hoping you are okay and safe too...thank you again for your response..and the very welcome hugs xxx
Hi. Missed this post... And u mentioned it in another one. Lovely post and very descriptive. ❤️Yep we often don't notice what's going on in ourselves.
I'm not on here much, but trying to.
Happy belated birthday.
I love the painting of tarquin. Wonderful.
Anyway take care, look after yourself. U r right I think we don't often listen to the advice we give other's... And we are often a lot harder on ourselves. (well I know that I'm sometimes not that nice to me 🤔 if u know what I mean)
Pleased to read u r now taking good advice and u r on the mend. Hang on in there x
Thank you for replying .. I am really on the way now... My cognitive therapy appointments really helped and I have at last started to listen to myself! :)Yes, I loved painting Tarquin... out online Art class was been based on colour last term...! x
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