Hi all, I am newly diagnosed, found out on Friday the 13th of all days. Am having surgery on 1st Nov with proposed follow up of Radiotherapy then possibly chemo. I am lucky in as much as I am only having the lump removed and at the moment there is no indication it had spread to my lymph nodes, so all good news really. What I can't seem to be able to cope with is the way this has turned my life upside down.
I am dreading the radiotherapy not because of the treatment but because of the distance I am going to have to travel each day for it and the idea of chemo just horrifies me. I know I am going to be put on tamoxifen which again i dread as i don't take any medications ever. I feel overwhelmed by the changes I am going to have to make but am also having to stay strong as my partner was devastated by the news and is finding it all hard to come to terms with. I have read lots of stories on here from women who have had and are having a far rougher time than me and really and truly do feel grateful that I seem to be likely to get off quite lightly. I guess I am probably in a state of grieving for the loss of my old life and I haven't quite come to terms with what the new one will be. I was so positive when I first found out but the realisation that the treatment goes on for months not weeks seems to have knocked me for six. I know its a small price to pay for your life and I do keep telling myself that, I suppose its because its the start of the journey and I don't know how I am going to react. I am lucky that I have never had any kind of illness or had to be involved with doctors or hospitals apart from when I had my children so to go from nothing to this is quite a leap. Apologies for the rambling but I can't really talk to anyone about how I really feel. I have lots of support from friends and family but I don't want to burden them and become the person that's only seen as the cancer patient. Lord, what a lot of pathetic rambling. I don't know, some people, give them a blank page and no interruptions and they can't shut up!