Tips for turning my brain off and sleeping please.

[Vic1970]

Hi everyone,I've finished my radiotherapy treatment this week after 6 months of chemotherapy and lumpectomy ,all seems well,no sign of cancer in the lymph nodes they removed.so good news and I am very happy about everything but I am not sleeping and I know I have to give it time but I can't turn my brain Off! I tried mindfulness but I can't do it,too much to think about- at the beginning of my treatment my partner of 20 years told me he was "in a relationship with someone else "-which didn't come as a great surprise to me as we havent been having a good time for a few years now and I can't say I blame him but throughout my treatment he carried on with his new relationship but still lived with me (seperate rooms and lives effectively).This is all fine with me ,I want him to move on so I can too but my issue is because he is paying all the bills he won't move out yet,so I am really winding myself up because I want to get back to work asap.This is all very trivial and I have been very lucky that my cancer treatment has done it's job and I am so grateful to the brilliant drs and nhs.I am trying not to sweat the small stuff but at 4 in the morning it all seems like the end of the world.I have support from my sister but I don't want to burden anybody with stuff,she has 2 young children to worry about.

Anyway ladies I feel better now for writing this down and hope it doesn't sound too depressing,I could do with tips and stories for banishing those negative thoughts in the dark hours! I don't think the winter months help either,roll on Summer!

Sending hope and love to you all ladies.Vicky. xx😉

[Louisejr]

Hi Vic

Firstly that's really good news after the long haul of the treatment.

Sorry to hear about your relationship, but you sound very positive about it all. I think it is really easy to overthink things - I do this and mostly in the wee small hours too. I am managing on about four hours sleep a night at the moment. I try all sorts too, from watching something on my ipad - to listening to music. One of the best things I have found is listening to an audio book - although I have read the book several times I am currently listening to Jane Eyre I have to replay some of the chapters as I do eventually drop off whilst I am listening to it! On apple some of the classics are free downloads, so I have downloaded a couple.

Hope everything works out for you.

Louise xx

[Vic1970 in reply to Louisejr]

thanks I haven't tried audio books,sounds like a good idea,ill try it.Good to know it's not just me who can't switch off,I do overthink stuff which is why I cant do mindfulness properly.Thanks Louise,good luck on your journey.xx

[Debster2016]

Hi Vic may I begin by saying that's not trivial let alone a trivial situation to be in to me. I take my hat off to you for the upbeat outlook (thank you 😌) and wish you a satisfactory conclusion to your relationship soon!

I am very familiar with being awake at night esp 3-4am witching hour! Always had trouble sleeping and it used to concern me til I talked to a girl I worked with who suffered worse than I did, a real insomniac it seemed poor thing. In recent years I adopted this approach. I get up once I'm wide awake rather than toss and turn and fret about being awake which I used to do. I go read a book & indeed used to have a glass of hot milk (not sure it actually helped but the association as a 'bedtime drink' encouraged me) and luckily for me that usually does the trick after a couple of hours.

Another more recent friend of mine got a cat a couple of years ago and she claims it went a long long way to curing her insomnia.

Good luck with managing it. I would expect t will pass in time, as your situation improves. 😘🌹

[Hidden]

Hi Vic1970

So sorry to read of your personal situation, but at least at the present moment you don't have to worry about the financial side & it shows your partner still cares about you, so if it's working ok for now, don't rush it, it's one less thing to worry about.

I didn't sleep when I was on the Dexamethasone during Chemo as it was additional to other steroids I take, so l never attempted to sleep but made my bed 'Command Control' iPad, phone, Kindle & l read, wrote emails etc then I'd eventually fall asleep around 4am.

Even now, l sometimes have bad nights where I don't sleep but what l/you need to do is try n break the cycle. If you go to sleep OK are you waking because you are cold, or hungry, in pain or need the loo? If so then try & address the issue, an extra throw, a warm drink before bed, if you have pain & take pain Meds spread them out more evenly.

But if you wake up for none of these reasons 4am is a horrible time of the night, so one option is to get up, make a warm drink, put a very, very boring TV Program on & try to distract yourself.

I like Louise's idea of the audiobook, make sure you are warm & cosy too; you may just drop off!

I hope you can break the cycle & things work out well for you, you're on the other side of our common enemy now so Good Luck 🍀

Best Wishes

Mrs N 😘

[Chrissie2]

Your situation does not sound at all trivial. No wonder you cannot sleep. After chemo and all that goes with it, sleep deprivation is quite common but, as you have additional worries, have you spoken to your doctor about it. I found that only a week of taking half a sleeping tablet helped me a lot. 4am is a terrible time to be awake but I agree that getting up and reading etc. helps to relax the mind and then go back to bed after an hour or two. Hope things improve xx

[haagr]

Hi Vicky

So sorry to hear about your problems.

When I was diagnosed I had extreme anxiety and depression. I was barely able to sleep or eat. I too couldn't shut my mind off.

I found a wonderful 18 minute guided meditation video on YouTube that centers and calms me. I continue to use it 6 months into my journey. I keep the link bookmarked on my cell phone and iPad so I have quick and easy access to it. It is especially helpful when I can't sleep during the night or something triggers anxiety. I also try to use it very morning to start my day.

This is the link for the video. I hope it helps you as it has helped me.

youtu.be/Jyy0ra2WcQQ(Not working as expected?)

There are dozens of similar videos on YouTube that you can search through to find the best one for you.

Stay strong. 💪😘

Robin in NYC

[Vic1970 in reply to haagr]

Thank you so much,I'll check that out.I've had broken sleep last night but 4 hours in between 1-2 hour breaks.I'm trying cherry concentrate as recommended by a chap in Holland and barret ,I had a bad night with nytols where I wasn't asleep but felt like I was paralysed ,won't be doing that again,I think my body's had enough of chemicals now anyway.I think it's more mind over matter and positive thinking is the way forward.Thanks for your support.xx

[haagr in reply to Vic1970]

There are nights I use this video more than once. It is very calming and soothing. Many times I doze off before it even finishes.

Hang in. We are here for you.

Robin

[lizzyHZ]

Thanks for this its 0230 in the morning i need to ve up in 5 hoursto go to work😣sleep is just not coming ..will give this a try ☺