Will life ever be normal?

[CancerkickerKathy]

I am 2 years post diagnosis and bi lateral mast. Over a year post chemo. I had the last of the reconstruction in July. I'm tired. I do push to do some things but I pay a price. How much can I blame on chemo? Still have some pain in breast area too.

[MurielTheActor]

We do go through it, don't we?

My time frame slightly less than yours although I haven't had reconstruction. And I still feel tired a lot. We have been through trauma, body and mind. My surgery was a year ago and I am only just beginning to recognise that I have almost full movement with no pulling or discomfort.

It takes time! Much much longer than we want it to take. I have a night out and need two days to recover. I don't have the energy I had and don't expect I will. I feel some of me got left behind. All tough stuff. But we must be kind to ourselves and the hardest thing is to adjust our expectations. xx

[Nixh]

Hi Kathy, the short answer is no, unfortunately it will never be normal .. but what is normal?

We've all been through a huge ordeal our bodies have been ravaged with ops and drugs that alter us physically and emotionally. And the stress.. has been monumental!

Physically like you I've had a bilateral mx and am having final recon in November. Chemo effects take ages to go and have heard it can affect people for years.

I have temp expanders at the mo and they ache horrendously most days; I'm very aware they're there always and if I lie on my side they dig in. To be honest I ache most places now due to tamoxifen.. lower back and ankles mostly. Some days are worse than others .

(I bet you're thinking what a whinny rant!) but..

I'm alive.. might not have been if had not been diagnosed and treated.. the aches remind me that I've got to keep going, yes I ache and am tired but I still play netball twice a week and try to do things I like every day, (even if it's sneaking a quiet hour on Netflix when I should be working!) if I'm tired I'll have an early night or two which usually recharged my batteries for the next few days .

Mostly I've become much more selfish and will say no if I don't want to do something! What's the worst that could happen?

Keep going my lovely, you've survived a major life changing shakeup, maybe try to find your 'sneaky little joy' each day, try to find things to look forward to and definitely say NO if you don't want to do something!!

Big Hugs

Nix x

[CancerkickerKathy in reply to Nixh]

I started taking some gun classes and lastnight was my first time shooting since surgery. It was a little challenging and I am more sore but I did enjoy going. I just shoot targets. Not people or animals.

[Lainey66]

Hi there CancerkickerCathy. I hear you Missus. Exact same here. Two years this month since diagnosis, bi lateral mastectomy and a year post chemo. I suffer fatigue, bone pain, memory issues etc. I have taken to Making a schedule for myself slotting in a daily nap. Monday I actually get a lie in until 9 am, I do my housework after breakfast at a pace that suits me, I have lunch and a nap. In the afternoon I either read, paint, write then I make tea and after that hubby and I go for a walk. Two mornings a week I get up at 6:15 am and go for an early morning swim and again set myself a schedule. I e evening I go meditating and this is totally relaxing. Two other evenings hubby and I walk, I go to weight watchers and make time once a week to meet up with friends for a catch up. Since walking and swimming I find energy levels are increasing. I also find by allowing a power nap during the day - setting an alarm so that so don’t go into a deep sleep, helps reduce the fatigue. Getting into this routine took a while but I am feeling better for it. I hope this helps xxx

[Debster2016 in reply to Lainey66]

This is so helpful and practical Lainey thank you from me also 👍🏻😌😘

[Lainey66 in reply to Debster2016]

You are welcome 😊💐💐

[Moirs1964]

I finished chemo and herceptin in 2014 and this was followed by mastectomy and reconstruction which took far longer than planned due to a useless plastic surgeon. I’m still struggling with everything that’s changed in my life. Yes I’m alive and grateful for it but I still want the old me back! But that’s never going to happen so I’m learning or trying to learn to accept it all. It’s taking time but I know I’ll get there. I’m exhausted all the time too but I find for me that a good diet and some exercise makes a difference. I’ve really cut down on sugar and if I eat something with a lot in it I just fall asleep!

It’s a rough time for all of us but keep going and you will get there. Us women are made of strong stuff 😊

[Debster2016 in reply to Moirs1964]

Well said Moirs1964 😘

[SuePS1958]

Hi Kathy, I am nearly 4 years on from diagnosis. I had a mastectomy, chemo, radio, herceptin finishing with a tummy reconstruction Oct 2015. I've always seen life as constant change. Nothing ever stays the same so clearly the norm alters too. I talk about living life to the full in my 'new norm'. Yes I have to get the balance right and there are days I don't get it right. I focus on making the most of life every day, I take more care of me and give me more time, I've made loads of new friends and socialise a lot more. I am saying yes to those things I used to leave for 'when I retire' and am experiencing aspects of life for the first time. Today, the choir I sing with is releasing a single for all us BC ladies - lets hope it goes viral. So no, life will never be the same, but it is sooooo much better in soooooo many ways xx

[Lainey66 in reply to SuePS1958]

Where can we hear your choirs single Sue? It is a great idea. Lainey x

[SuePS1958 in reply to Lainey66]

I will Lainey when it is finally released. Sue

[Lainey66 in reply to SuePS1958]

Excellent 👍👍

[josiemarie]

I had treatment for TNeg thirteen years ago and can honestly say my energy levels came back pretty quickly. My prognosis wasnt good (25-35%) My family was in trauma. It was one thing after another.. I was with my daughter when she gave birth to my little grandson who died unexpectedly at full term, 2wks later my son was left handicapped after an horrific accident and just before that my youngest was rushed to hospital with suspected heart problems... the list is long and in the end l was afraid to answer the phone! I took up walking... bought myself a good pair of boots, opened the front door and off l went. The more worries l had the faster l'd go... for miles and miles.. hail, rain or shine. After a while l was looking forward to the 4mile walk to my daughters house and had more energy than Id had in years. My consultant was so impressed she took up power walking herself and recommends it to others with the same diagnosis. Josie x

[Lainey66 in reply to josiemarie]

You are an absolutely strong lady and an inspiration to all. You have had a dreadful time. I hope and pray that your life now moves from strength to strength and everything that is only good happens for you. Sending love, and going out to buy walking boots today. Love Lainey (tneg too🙄) 💐💐💐💐

[josiemarie in reply to Lainey66]

Thankyou so much Lainey. I suppose l did what l had to and just got on with it. I'll let you into a secret... my partner at the time was a sadistic alcoholic and used to chase me around the house with a knife when I was on chemo! If stress brought cancer back I'd be long gone,

Josie x

[Lainey66 in reply to josiemarie]

Jaysus! 😱😱 I hope he is long gone. You have had a cruddy time 😱😱

[josiemarie in reply to Lainey66]

He is 😊 ..and my daughter had another little boy, my son copes well with his handicap and the youngest one's heart is fine X

[Lainey66 in reply to josiemarie]

That is good to hear. I am walking too and swimming - hopefully some of this fat will start disappearing soon 😂😂

[josiemarie in reply to Lainey66]

😊 xxx

[CancerkickerKathy in reply to josiemarie]

Oh wow. So sorry to hear of so much tragedy for your family.

[josiemarie in reply to CancerkickerKathy]

Thanks Katy. l could add lots more to the list.. I hurt my back falling on the ferry the week before chemo started, was attacked the day after my first Tax by a schzophrenic who broke my ribs, my bro in law came out as gay and took an overdose and my best friend Buzz the rottie who wouldnt let me out of his sight all through chemo died outside my bedroom door months after it finished. Gosh its been so cathartic writing all this down.. I must've been bottling it up.

Before chemo we were just an ordinary family by the end of my treatment I was shell shocked 😳

Ever since then Ive lived for the moment and never worry about what might happen

Josie x

[CancerkickerKathy in reply to josiemarie]

You just couldn't catch a break. Hugs to you.

[anne-57]

I know it's frustrating but you will find your new normal. Your fatigue will diminish but your body is still recovering from all that you have been through. Gentle exercise really does help improve energy levels so worth trying to build in something a few times a week- the cleaning etc can wait for another day or someone else to do it. Keep going, the worst is past. X

[blue_sky1]

Prioritise your health and everyone and everything else second...time to focus on YOU. Us women so often put others first, but you have a good reason now to be selfish and take life at the pace that feels right for you. 6 years on I have massive energy levels due to the supplements I take and the business I am passionate about...... and a determination to live life to the full. But I would never force this on anyone else. Be selfish and lower your expectations of yourself. Be thankful every day to be alive and well and enjoy every aspect of your life, no matter what else is going on. xxxx

[carolinenailsea]

Kathy

I was very sad to read how low you are feeling at the moment. You have been through such a lot and its hardly been any time at all since your last treatment. IDont expect too much of yourself, its 'ok' to feel down sometimes. As the ladies say, the old normal is just that - old. You will eventually find a new normal. When you are feeling stronger you will be able to create that new normal and make it happy and fulfilling. I wish you all the best. Caroline xx

[CancerkickerKathy in reply to carolinenailsea]

Oh I wouldn't say I feel low. Just tired of being tired. Mentally I think I have done pretty well. Physically is another thing. Thank you for your comment. May we all find better days.

[blue_sky1]

There is a 'new normal' that happens after BC. I am 6 years on and feel stronger and better than I did in the early days (and 2 years is still early days). You need to look after yourself really well and just have faith that you will be fine. It's a process! Hugs xxxx