Feeling low

[reubenbracken]

I have just had my third chemo session, I'm triple negative and the tumour is shrinking, I've been put on antidepressants which haven't kicked in yet and just feeling so fed up, still got another five rounds of chemo to go before surgery, just wandered if anybodywas about to talk?

[Lainey66]

Hey there reubenbracken. I know how you are feeling. I finished treatment in June after nine and a half months on chemo and radiotherapy along with a double mastectomy. It is not easy but half the battle is won by trying to look for all the positives. Do activities that you enjoy, can do with a group who will have you laughing. Talk about things that make you laugh and try not to focus on the cancer. I promise you, that if you can do that, lift yourself up, you will find it so much easier to cope, even on the shittiest of days. Here for you to soind off on anytime hon. You are not alone. Lainey. Xxxx ps. I am also triple neg. Xxx

[reubenbracken in reply to Lainey66]

Thanks lainey can i ask you did you have a double mastectomy because of the triple negative

[Lainey66 in reply to reubenbracken]

I did. I had TC chemo first and after 4 sessions I was admitted into hospital with neutropenia and very low red cells too. I was told that the chemo was killing me quicker than the cancer so the chemo was stopped and surgery brought forward to 5th Jan. This meant a mastectomy as they had found a further two tumors deep in the same breast. When I knew it was to be a mastectomy rather than a lumpectomy I fought hard to have both breasts removed as being left with one breast would have sent me into an asylum. I researched my legal rights, had the support of my GP, and had researched statistics of cancer spreading to the second breast as it was also in my lymph nodes. I had the op and found out that I had made the correct decision as I now had a battle with residual cancer, and it was highly likey that the cancer would have spread to my second breast. I then began a further six months of AC chemo followed by CMF chemo then 25 sessions of radiotherapy. I have had two three monthly visits to the oncologist and yhings are looking good. I go back again next March and all being well they will move me onto six monthly visits. I still have active cancer cells but the activity is relatively low. It is just acase of keeping a close eye on things and enjoying every minute of my life. I am taking early retirement, I am enjoying painting, reading, writing, blogging, walking and I look for deals on spa breaks and treat myself every 4 or five months. This cancer really has made me appreciate being alive and enjoying life. It has made me more positive, more aware that it can be snatched from us in a heartbeat. Do try taking care and lookingbfor the positive side of things. As I said earlier it is not easy at all, but being strong is all we have at times and it is then that you realise that younare stronger than you think you are. Xxx

[Jacbowden in reply to Lainey66]

You rock Lainey

[Hidden in reply to Lainey66]

Just read your post Lainey. You are one amazing woman and so strong i take my hat off to you. I love your zest for life and send you every best wish that 2017 can bring x

[reubenbracken]

Thank you Lainey, i was not expecting that, you sound such a strong person with what you have been through, I know I need to keep positive but I think with the chemo and the antidepressants its just sending me the other way, hopefully things will pick up soon .xxx

[Jacbowden in reply to reubenbracken]

You need to try some of the good oil. It would help with the depression, make you calm and help knock off a few cancer cells as well. 🌱

[reubenbracken in reply to Jacbowden]

What do you mean by good oil?

[Jacbowden in reply to reubenbracken]

Sorry, my pet name for cannabis oil. I have been using it for chemo side effects. It also ensures a great night's restful sleep and keeps me all over much calmer than without.

[reubenbracken in reply to Jacbowden]

xx

[Jennymary]

Hi Reubenbracken, sorry to read about your struggles at the moment, I'm not really able to offer advice re chemo as I didn't have any, but I'm sending loads of love and hugs to get you through the next few days/weeks, maybe plan some little treats for after each treatment, get a friend to make you something nice to eat ( I think a slice of toast is nice if someone else makes it), plan a bigger one for when chemo finishes, I know your facing surgery after surgery, but a treat to celebrate (if that's the right word), finishing chemo and moving on to the next stage of your journey, stay strong xxxxxx

[reubenbracken in reply to Jennymary]

Thank you .xx

[Jacbowden]

Hi, sorry to hear you're feeling blue, but it's totally allowed. Good news the tumour is shrinking. I'm triple negative too. I had a mastectomy before chemo. I'm going for the fourth session on the 9th. I hope you feel better very soon. 😘

[reubenbracken in reply to Jacbowden]

Thank you I haven't had surgery yet got all that to come, how do you get through it all? Xxx

[Surviver]

Hi tablets take a few weeks to kick in but when they do you will feel better I hope all will be ok

big hugs

Janet x

[reubenbracken in reply to Surviver]

Thank you I wish they would hurry up I hate all this.xx

[Maz1965]

Hi reubenbracken, great news that you are nearly half way through your treatment and the tumour is shrinking. Everyone's journey is different and you are entitled to feel low. I had 18 months of treatment - (chemo, lumpectomy, radiotherapy and then injections) and my oncologist always told me not to look too far ahead and what treatments are coming up - just look to the next appointment and get that over and done with. It was great advice as its seems that you are on a conveyor belt of hospital appointments etc.

I had FECT which got rid of the tumour completely and have just had my 2 year check up, which was clear. I still have side effects and they will always be there but I don't dwell on those.

Your body is going through a trauma so be kind to it and yourself... don't try to do what you used to before treatment started. When you are up to it - get out and about with friends etc. Hopefully there are some support groups locally that you might be able to join - I found these a great source of information...

And everyone on the Haven is here to support and help you.... take care and be positive, its hard at time but you will make it through this journey xx

[reubenbracken in reply to Maz1965]

Thank you when I hear all about everyone else I just think what am I moaning about just get on with it but it's just not happening, everyone has been through so much I just don't know how to deal with it all.xx

[Maz1965 in reply to reubenbracken]

its not a case of moaning at all... it is hard to deal with but you are not alone - it is a real rollercoaster of emotions where you will have bad and not so bad days.

call upon those around you to help you through - they will be at a loss of how to help but even just getting out in fresh air for a short walk and bringing back a sense of normality will hopefully help.

you will get through it xxx

[reubenbracken in reply to Maz1965]

xx

[Hidden]

Sorry to hear you are feeling low the treatment knocks the hell out of you and the antidepressants have so many side effects too. They usually take around two weeks to start in the body. Hope u feel loads better soon. Sending u loads of love. Have you tried a wee outing somewhere just to lift your spirits. Doesnt have to be far but just away from the C

[reubenbracken in reply to Hidden]

Thank you I tend to go for a walk rather than going out, I think I should be doing things but I just don't feel like it and then I get down because everyone else is busy and I'm not, hopefully the tablets will kick in soon and I'll be raring to go.xxx

[Hidden in reply to reubenbracken]

I enjoy a walk too its nice to be out and about. Dont put extra pressure on yourself re activities etc you have enough to deal with. Be kind to yourself.x

[reubenbracken in reply to Hidden]

Xx

[Hidden]

Hello reubenbracken

Sorry I wasn't around yesterday to chat to you, I was diagnosed with TBNC Grade3/Stage3 in June 2015 l had Mastectomy in August & finished my FEC/T in November 2015 & here we are nearly 2017 🥂

Truthfully, the Chemo takes it out of you physically & sometimes mentally as well, let the antidepressant's do their work, it'll take a couple of weeks as another lady said.

I was on Steroids/Prednisolone so following my surgery the dose was increased for two weeks as I'd had Hydrocortisone 'Cover' in theatre then Dexamethasone with each Chemo l was high as a kite as that is the effect they have on me!

I did keep thinking "One of these days, this is going to hit me, big style!"

Try & take each Step as it comes & not look too far along the road, that's what my Oncologist told me. I used to have a bit of banter with him about him being the only man l knew who was always right!

You've had a reply from Lainey66 she is an inspiration to us all! 💕

We're all here anytime, there's always someone about as we have members from Australia Jacbowden (l think) so never worry if you want to post in the middle of the night!

Take Good Care of yourself! 💐

Best Wishes for your next session & hopefully the antidepressant's kick in soon!

Mrs Nails 💅🏼

[reubenbracken in reply to Hidden]

thank you you are all amazing.xx

[Hidden]

And reubenbracken you are amazing too, you just don't realise it at the moment! Come this time next year you'll be reassuring new ladies & offering support & tips.

Best Wishes for 2017 🥂

[reubenbracken in reply to Hidden]

Thankyou lets hope thats the case. Best wishes to you too, thank you all for being there.xx

[Lorraineam]

Hello Reubenbracken. I am a former mental health nurse (I lapsed my registration last month as I developed lymphodema and decided it was too high risk to practice) and can confirm that anti depressants can take up to 6 weeks before you notice a difference. Talking therapies can also help, and if you still feel depressed once the tablets have kicked in your doctor can refer you to mental health services. Depression is just as much an illness as cancer. My husband had very bad depression a few years ago but thanks to excellent treatment he recovered, although he has to take medication as his depression was in part due to chemical inbalance in the brain. Sending love for your recovery xxx

[reubenbracken in reply to Lorraineam]

thank you.xx

[Mandywilson]

. Can't help as far as triple neg. goes. But can say I agree withe Lainey66 .. Try and have a positive attitude .. I joined a breast cancer group .. We keep each other going .. Just like this site.. Thing like this help .. I walk .. Go to the gym (referred by GP ) do tai chi (amazing ) . I do believe in sharing our thoughts , worries and fears .. There is always someone there to love & support you .. Our breast cancer friends are the only ones who truly understand xxx

I was diagnosed in 2010 . 3+ tumour in left breast , and another primary albeit tiny in my right .. Double mastectomy 3 weeks later ! Followed by intense chemo and radiotherapy ... Then the normal hospital appointments , finally signed off after just over 6 years .... We must keep fighting ..

Love & hugs xxx

[reubenbracken in reply to Mandywilson]

Thank you it does help to talk to. others on here, I just get so panicky sometime as to what the future holds, don't find it very easy taking one day at a time.xxx

[Debster2016]

Hi Reubenbracken. You have been positive in going to your gp for some help, and by posting on here too. I empathise, have been mildly depressive for most of my life. Diagnosed 20 years ago; have been managing it well in recent (5?) years. So when this happened not surprisingly floods of tears!

I've read loads to try and better understand (& manage) my condition and prepare in full for all future options. I've been frustrated and confused, with information being contradictory or lacking or too vague for my precise position. A constant change of medical people for the first few weeks compounded this.

My most recent - & umpteenth - conversation with my bc nurse 2 days ago (11 weeks since it all began) involved her saying to me: look only toward the next treatment / appointment / day and try to focus on that. Try to stop overwhelming yourself with information and detail as some of it may not even apply.

That's the short version! I conclude that I want to impose some control on my situation and I can't. This is because there are so many variables and each of us has our own unique physiology. Putting the 2 together and it's all a bit unpredictable. Again that's the short version 🙃.

Know this. You are doing well. Your treatment is progressing, you have posted on here and your GP is supporting you. When I cry I roll with it. We have tear ducts and we leak at times! It's normal, perfectly understandable and allowed. I hope the anti depressants are working for you now. If not, go back to your gp, they really won't mind.

Keep posting, keep asking - questions, help, nurse - and keep going for walks. I have no friends here - we moved here 10 months ago so my safety net is 2 hours / 90 miles away - and I find walking blows cobwebs away and helps me feel better. Also experience tells me that the depression will pass.

Also got a terrible habit of abusing the fact that I can't be interrupted when writing! Sorry about that 😳🙂.

Sending you lots of support and good feelings ❤️ Xx

[reubenbracken in reply to Debster2016]

Hello thank you for your reply, I think the antidepressants have kicked in definitely not as teary as I was still stressing about everything. Have you had an operation or are you having chemo first. I think I might chill a bit once I've had my genetics results which is not until the end of February so a little while to wait. If you want to talk anytime just send me a message, it passes the time a bit easier.xxxx