I already have three children & three step children with my partner. Both of our older children have autism & mine also has life long rare health problems. The six children combined are all under the age of 13.
The relationship has problems, I am a victim of child sexual abuse with a very recent conviction, I tried to kill myself two years ago & very nearly succeeded.
I tried to leave him a few weeks ago, packing everything up & running miles away as I felt overwhelmed by a division he seems to create within our blended family...during this time he begged to sort stuff/meet up (my pills were packed away in storage) we had sex & now I am 4/5wks pregnant living back with him & have since been in hospital the whole time with my eldest son & poor health.
I was suicidal again leading up to discovering I was pregnant, was on a waiting list for psychiatric intervention.
He wants an abortion, he has said he'll support whatever, but hasn't leave me be until I finally said today I will have an abortion. I don't want one. I had to abort a baby in a previous relationship due to mistake by a doctor, where I was given a live vaccination. I feel safe knowing I am pregnant, I am scared if I abort I will try & harm myself.
Written by
Oly32
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Hi , i am very sorry to hear you are in such a situation .Its a hard choice to make either way . if you have the abortion you probably be feel low and if you dont than after the pregnancy it all may come back but with a new baby , so its hard to decide . What you need is some support and help outside your relationship , maybe speak to your gp or health visitor and try get not only some concelling but also some ideas of how to have your life back wihtout your other half .
You cant live being abused in anyone , no human being deserves it and also for the sake of your children. They need their mum and a safe home as well .
I was stuck in similar situatuon and its hard to get out and you share everything , house , funances , but with some help i managed to find where to live and get help to look after my son and never felt happier .
Sorry to hear you're having a tough time. If you decide to go ahead with the pregnancy your baby may be taken away from you due to your mental health.
Also pregnancy hormones may even make things worse for you in the way that you feel, especially if you're having so much trouble with your partner. I also think you should seek professional help as they will have a non biased view of the situation.
You need to weigh up your options and do a list of pros and cons. I understand that having an abortion will have an impact on your mental health, as it would do for mine, but you don't have to go through it alone. And it's the same for continuing the pregnancy as well as the decision to be a single parent.
You need to take a step back and think about what's best for you. If you're struggling to do that then there are people who can help.
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