Telling work you're pregnant...When should I tell my boss? 😣

[Kat9lives]

I'm currently 10wk+1 pregnant and am planning to tell people after my 12wk scan (at 12wk+1). My problem is... I'm going on holiday on 12wk+3 and am off work on 12wk+2. This means I have 2 hours after my scan or the option of going into work the day after (when on leave) to tell my boss. He isn't based at the same office as me so would normally only see him once a week if that so the chances of him being in during that really tight timeframe is slim.

So my options are:

1) Tell my boss early, before the 12wk scan and ask him to keep it quiet for a few days...but then I feel like I'm tempting fate telling him before I hopefully get the all clear (and trusting him not to tell anyone else).

2) Don't tell him until I'm back from hols which means I'd probably have to keep quiet to everyone else too as it might get out.... but it's going to be really busy when I get back (14wks) and I'll be dreading it when I'm flying home and will prob be worrying on hols... so I'd rather not do this option.

3) Tell him on the phone rather than face to face (after the scan) which feels really unprofessional and I want to make this as respectful and professional as possible to make sure there are no bad feelings during the rest of my pregnancy.

I'm in a dilemma! Help! Xx

[Hidden]

Hey I'd go in the day after your scan, arrange to meet him for coffee but still ask him to keep it to himself. That way he is in the loop and you're not stressing 😉

[Kat9lives in reply to Hidden]

That would be ideal but he's rarely up in the office (he lives and works 2 hrs away)!

[Bpas_1968 Partner]

Hi there

Maternity Action, a charity committed to ending inequality and improving the health and well-being of pregnant women,

have a brilliant advice line, it might be worth giving them a quick call about what you should do as I am sure they have spoken to many women who have been in this position before 0845 600 8533.

Best wishes

Katherine

[Kat9lives in reply to Bpas_1968]

Thankyou x

[lisacc1985]

Hi,

I'm about 7 weeks pregnant and had to inform my boss as the morning sickness was effecting me being at work. It's personal preference really. If I didn't suffer with sickness, I probably would have waited until after the scan xx

[Kat9lives in reply to lisacc1985]

Thanks lovely. I've been off once with a "sickness bug" and been in the office looking green from a "hangover" once so far. Luckily my line mgr knows but she isn't my boss she is my mgr on paper for hr reasons! I've worked from home a few days too because of the sickness.... hoping to eek it out until 12wks 1 day... I'm 10wk 2 days today! X

[malinconia]

Sorry, but this sounds ridiculous. It's your decision and your private issue. You can decide to tell or don't tell whenever you like . I'm not planning to tell until I start showing. If you want to get your maternity pay, you have to tell at least 3 months before your date, right?

[Kat9lives in reply to malinconia]

Sorry to sound ridiculous but it's a big deal for me! I'm already starting to show and am trying to best manage the rest of my time at work with my boss before mat leave. Every one is different.

[lisacc1985]

This doesn't sound ridiculous. I had the same concerns but then sickness got in the way of me being at work when I should have been, which resulted in me telling my manager at 5 weeks! As kat9lives said, everybody is different with their pregnancy and some companies are more accommodating than others x

[malinconia in reply to lisacc1985]

Didn't mean to upset anyone, sorry. Could you please share some info on when did you start your maternity leave and pay and what are the legal requirements of informing your employer?

[Kat9lives in reply to malinconia]

malinconia I haven't started mat leave yet and I don't think lisacc1985 has either? If you look on the gov website there's a whole section on maternity leave and telling your employer (or google).

[Kat9lives in reply to lisacc1985]

Thanks lisacc1985 . I've had a couple of days sickness so far so am concerned I may need to come clean soon too! Hope everything is going smoothly for you otherwise X

[lisacc1985]

Sickness is just the worst isn't it!! The worst thing for me is that it's nausea not actually sickness, apart from 3 times since finding out 4 weeks ago. This is my first pregnancy so all a new experience for me.

Maybe come clean to your manager so she/he can accommodate your situation into the working day? I hope all is going well with you though xx

[Kat9lives in reply to lisacc1985]

Thanks lovely. Sorry I meant I've had 2 days actual sick leave because of the sickness! I've had nausea everyday for about 3 weeks and before that was building up too. It really wears you downeed doesn't it!? It's tiring! But I also sort of like it as it means it's a sign of pregnancy too!

Thanks for your advice. I've already told my line manager and had a big chat with her yesterday about how best to tell my boss. It's a strange set up with my work... my line mgr has no connection with my work and I manage and support a team of 26... my boss is the leader of the group I work for. It's a political job! So I have to tread really carefully with timing and telling him in a respectful way... and to ensure the message goes to the rest of the group properly to avoid lots of worry etc. I wish I could explain more!

Anyway I've come up with a plan... I'm phoning my boss after the scan and emailing the team and the group the next day along with telling my PA face to face. Then because my jobs really stressful my line mgr has talked about putting me in a different job (a secondment) whilst the next few months unfurl with all the political stuff going on. My replacement will need to be involved from the start so it makes sense but I don't like letting go! Sorry... bit longwinded but feel much better about it all anyway! X

[darcy123]

i told my boss as soon as i found out so then they know you have appointments an everything then there not to bad