Found on nhs records

[1] The lab test indicated abnormal lover function.

[2] The baby was delivered , the cord clamped and cut, and handed to the paediatrician, who breathed and cried immediately.

[3] Exam of the genitalia reveals that he is circus sized.

[4] She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life until 2005 when she got a divorce .

[5] The patient lives at home with his mother and father and pet turtle, who is presently enrolled in day care three times a week.

[6] Both breasts are equal and reactive to light and accommodation.

[7] Exam of the genitalia was completely negative except for the right foot.

[8] The patient was to have a bowel resection.

However, he took a job as a stockbroker instead.

[9] The patient is a 79- year- old widow who no longer lives with her husband.

[10] The patient left the hospital feeling much better, except for her original complaints

:D :D :D

lots of love and kind wishes to all,,, jimmy [ xxxx :D to the woman :D]

hiya to the men :D

35 Replies

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  • Glad I found this post! HA HA HA! number 10 refers to our local hospital - that is if they don't murder you while you are there. A big press frenzy over someone who was left - well basically to die without attention a few months ago.

  • Many thanks freefaller, hope your feeling better now.

    jimmy

  • I haven't heard those before dear wee Jimmy. Thank you and lots of Love xxx

  • Many thanks Azure,

    take care now,

    lots of love jimmy xxx

  • He he great to see your on top form Jimmy. Cx

  • hi cof,

    not really on top form at the mo. cof. , but keeping my head above water,:) sometimes feel like keeping it under :D ,, room for improvement , but getting there :)

    lots of love jimmy xxx :)

  • I know you are far from being on top form physically sweetheart - I meant on top form with your jokes.

    Hugs cx

  • No problem cofdrop, :) although there's room for improvement, i do enjoy the humour page :D its good to have a laugh,

    lots of love , jimmy xxx :)

  • Brilliant, as usual, Jimmy, keep em coming, hope you're well today.

    XX

  • Many thanks CELAT06,

    a bit tired and worn out, but will try dig up some more soon :D

    lots of love jimmy xxx :)

  • Lol, Jimmy, these were good. xx

  • Thanks casp. :)

    its always a wee chuckle :)

    lots of love jimmy xxx :)

  • A good laugh at the end of a rather testing day - thank you so much Jimmy!

  • your right pentreath, :D its good to laugh after a testing day.

    i seem to have one of them today :D but we all get there in the end,

    keep smiling, pentreath,

    jimmy :)

  • Very good Jimmy, really made me laugh :) :)

    Thanks

    Love Sohara

  • Many thanks Sohara, nice to have a wee laugh :D

    lots of love jimmy xxx :)

  • So funny ! :)

  • Many thanks puff, hope your feeling better now, take care

    jimmy ;)

  • I'm still not able to move about much but my respiratory nurse says that even when the infection has gone it can take 2 or 3 weeks to get back to normal, so I'm taking it easy. :)

  • it sounds like your similar to me puff,

    i had a pig of an infection, and never been right since, [maybe need to rephrase that :D ]

    seriously puff, i hope both of us improve, all the very best my friend

    jimmy :)

  • Right on Jimmy! Your hilarious as always.😊 Lol.... Hope your doing well.

    Miss your posts.

    Love RUBYXX😊😊

  • Hi ruby :) i've done fewer postings of late, i'm recovering [very slowly :) ] but will bounce back ,many thanks ruby,:) lovely to see you,

    lots of love jimmy xxx :)

  • Wa ha ha ..... brilliant! Thank you x piggi

  • Thank you piggi, glad you had a laugh :)

    love jimmy xxx :)

  • So lovely to see you posting your funnies Young Jimmy.

    😘😘😘 to you too xxxxx

  • hello peege, hope you are well , i feel a little better seeing the "young" bit :D

    lots of love jimmy xxxx :) :)

  • Great ones Jimmy. I know there are many, many gaffs like these in all professions and they make hilarious reading. People just don't think before they write, do they? One of my favourites has always been (in a newspaper report) "He opened the door in his pyjamas!" :-D

    Nice to hear from you. Take care and have a good day. XX :-)

  • HA HA :) brilliant that niks, :D you often hear folks in conversation [ ME!! :D ] saying the likes of that :D "he opened the door in his pajamas :D " brilliant as usual :D

    great to hear from you, Niks. i've been a wee bit under the weather, but my chuckle muscles are still working ... [thats about the only thing, that's working :D ]

    lots of love jimmy xxx :)

  • They are brilliant Jimmy, its good to have a laugh thank you.

    take care

    polly xx

  • lovely polly, glad to hear from you, yes we all need to avalaugh :D

    you take care now

    lots of love jimmy xxx :)

  • thank you jimmy - you got me giggling again - take care - xxx

  • i feel all the better of hearing of your giggling :D

    you take good care now undine,

    lots of love and kindness jimmy xxx :)

  • Hi Jimmy it's so good to see you posting. Gave me a good chuckle, much needed. Were on our way home after a wonderful trip in Europe. Don't get WiFi often. Best wishes Nan

  • thank you Nan, glad it made you smile :)

    and hope you have a save journey,

    unfortunately after just " coming off " steroids and antibiotics, i am back on them today!!,

    so will lie low, and try to recover. i knew there was "something wrong " for a while now, it seems to have been a rough ride of late :)

    lots of love jimmy xxxx :)

  • Oh heck , that's a horrid shame you just focus on getting better. Lots ofpve Nsn

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