Only me again 😊

[Knavesmire27]

So, I know so many of us suffer with anxiety, and for people who don't suffer with it, I know it is hard to understand and if you try to explain it you get that look that says “eh!! What on earth are you going on about” 🙄 but for those of us who suffer this is so real. So I wanted to share what happened when I was taking some medication at tea time today. I have anxiety over ensuring I take my medication, about taking it at the right time and about taking the right amount and even whether my pills might fall out of my mouth before I swallow.. My therapist has said it has all the symptoms of OCD and GAD and I acknowledge this and working through it.

So back to today, I popped a pill in my mouth, took a sip of water and as is my way, went to feel the pill was still in my mouth before swallowing. Anyway while doing this it slipped off my tongue and into the side of my mouth, sending me into a real panic. I felt it and moved it back into the centre of my mouth and then swallowed. Now I know I did this, I know I felt the sensation of the pill in my mouth before swallowing as quickly as I could. But then of course, as is the way with anxiety I started to doubt myself. Had I swallowed it, had I imagined it, had I really felt it in my mouth. And then again as is the way with anxiety I replayed this over and over in my head.

I am sharing this because I suppose I want to say the next time something is bothering you and you start to think “oh it's just me being silly again” it isn't!!! These feelings we all get are very real and we need to treat ourselves with a bit of compassion and accept that our emotional recovery is just as important as our physical recovery. It doesn't make us weak, it just makes us human. And that is ok.

Take care and thank you for reading .

[Cocoadonkey]

morning

My husband has suffered with anxiety and panic attacks since his cardiac arrest 3 years ago. Mainly when he feels closed in or trapped but he is still struggling. Often waking in the night and is really hot and bothered and has to leave the bedroom and go downstairs to calm down. He has just signed up for some more therapy but it is an ongoing issue !

So totally understand irrational fear as my husband knows he is safe but still can’t help it when the feelings come over him.

One thing I would say about the tablets is that if you miss the odd ones it would not cause any harm but I am sure the gp or pharmacist has already told you all this !

Keep your chin up. It does get easier and finding coping mechanisms is the answer xx

[pasigal in reply to Cocoadonkey]

This is EXACTLY how I feel after my cardiac arrest 4 years ago. I know, rationally, that I'm on medication, am doing all the right things, and that, while I may have another heart attack, it's most likely that I will have some warning signs so I can get to a hospital. But I'm triggered by even the slightest feelings of discomfort sometimes. I have done therapy, and it's helped, but ultimately I have to work thru it on my own...

[Cocoadonkey in reply to pasigal]

Thank you. I will pass that on to my husband x

[Murderfan58]

I fill my pill box with all my tablets every Saturday. You can guarantee as soon as I have taken the ones at the time I take . Within minutes I will check the box not just once but several times to check I have taken them. I drive myself mad checking and rechecking . But have been doing it for decades.

I never knew I had anxiety until I had my neurological condition diagnosed in 2022 I just thought I was weird . It's rare and found a Facebook group of others with it it's works wide and 1,103 of us . When I described my symptoms they said it's your anxiety kicking in . Want .Never knew that's what it was . I especially have travel anxiety even bus routes I take every week I have to watch out for every bus stop so I don't get off at the wrong stop. Plus I have to be at least half a hour early for any appointment have been know to be 2 hours early . But been like it all my life I can't stand being late. My husband said that's why both the children where born early .

But it's such a relief to know I am not weird but born with 2 things hereditary Hyperekplexia gene mutation SLC6A5 type 3 and small hole in the side of my heart . I have PAF. Thankfully on medication for both since 2020. My neurologist put me on Clonazepam and after 32 years of limb jerks and 4 seizures within 2 weeks my limbs where still and no seizures. My hands tremble all the time but used to that. My blood was sent for whole genome genetically testing January 2020 but they forgot to send the results and my cardiologist for to ask due to COVID. But he put me on the right medication to help me .

The feeling of not being weird is such a relief so I embrace what my body has done and does now including my anxiety because I know why it happens.

No idea if this makes sense . But I wish you well 🌹

[Blackdawg]

Hey. I totally get it. I have to focus and concentrate when I take my meds, the slightest distraction and I'm done! questioning if I have taken them or not. We are all unique and complex, I just say "it's just the way I am" and smile 🤗😊

[benmaise]

Very true.

[isobelhannah18]

I never have anxiety about taking my meds, but I have to count them after to make sure I have enough left. Even when I've just collected them from the pharmacy so I obviously have enough!! I'm obsessed about running out!

[Queserasera25 in reply to isobelhannah18]

You are not alone. I am exactly the same. I dread the thought of running out!

[Delticlover]

I know what you mean I'm exactly the same I take beta blockers and blood thinners anyway I saw that two of my blood thinners had disappeared and I throught to myself did I double dose I wound myself up about this then I saw the two tablets out in the garden as my partner had thrown them out as he didn't want me to take them I don't want to take them but if I stop I'm afraid of what may happen

[Knavesmire27 in reply to Delticlover]

God bless, stay strong 😊

[Delticlover in reply to Knavesmire27]

Are beta blockers and blood thinners dangerous as I really don't want to take them

[Knavesmire27 in reply to Delticlover]

I know it's so scary when you have to take these things, especially if you are told they are a long time solution but I take both (as well as many other medications) and I suppose for me I accept that they are prescribed for a reason and so I put my trust in my doctor and my cardiologist. You could try reaching out to someone like the British Heart Foundation. They are brilliant and no question is too small for them and they can offer great advice. Take care

[PadThaiNoodles in reply to Delticlover]

I temporarily lost sight in one eye due to a blood clot in my retina. I'm a lot more afraid of the consequences of not taking blood thinners than I am of taking them.

[Delticlover in reply to PadThaiNoodles]

Where I am I'm afraid of taking them and I'm afraid of not taking them but as I have a leaky value only mild I am afraid of taking them as my partner said if you have a leaky value you shouldn't be taking them

[Delticlover in reply to Delticlover]

But that must of been scary for you losing the sight in one eye so I'm not surprised you.re more afraid of not taking them

[PadThaiNoodles in reply to Delticlover]

I think it's your afib that gives you a greater stroke risk, not your leaky valve. I wasn't put on a blood thinner even with severe regurgitation.

(I am on blood thinners now, as my valve finally gave up and I had it replaced with a mechanical one. That does require blood thinners to prevent clots forming on it.)

[Delticlover in reply to PadThaiNoodles]

Can I ask please what blood thinners are you on

[PadThaiNoodles in reply to Delticlover]

Warfarin & aspirin.

[Delticlover]

I'm not in AF at the moment through I've just got a leaky value

[Knavesmire27 in reply to Delticlover]

Hi, I take warfarin now as I have had my mitral valve replaced in November last year but prior to that I was on Apixaban for a number of years. Hope this helps. There is a whole community here who will empathise and will offer as much support as they can. Also reach out to your doctor and cardiologist. I know asking questions can be scary but it is often the fear if the unknown that gets us most. So if you can, ask your specialists all your questions, no matter how trivial you may feel they are. I think it will help you. Take care

[Delticlover in reply to Knavesmire27]

Thank you I never through I would find myself in this situation It is scary and frightening and I've bought it all on myself with my stress and it hasn't been easy on my partner. How can you have a healthy heart but a leaking mitral value ?

[PadThaiNoodles in reply to Delticlover]

It took 15 years for my mitral valve to go from mild to severe, and then another 5 years at severe before it started to impact my heart health. Then I had the operation to repair it and replace my aortic valve.

[Knavesmire27 in reply to Delticlover]

Am in total agreement With PadThaiNoodles. It can take a long time to develop. And you will be monitored along your journey. I think we can all relate to the feelings you are going through, including blaming yourself. But firstly there can be a number of reasons you have a leaky valve. Mine, for instance was from having Rheumatic Fever as a child but I knew nothing of the impact until I got Pneumonia approx 3 years ago - I am 62 now. Whatever the reason, please remember you never deliberately set out to do this to yourself, we are all human and not one of us is perfect. Take care and sending you all my best wishes.

[Delticlover in reply to Knavesmire27]

I did do this to myself I stressed myself so much over the last couple of weeks this started off with a biopsy for breast cancer. Luckily I didn't have it but ever since then I've been in free fall I've gone down and down and I can't see a way out I also don't want to be on blood thinners or beta blockers the blood thinners are making me have the taste of blood in my month and I don't like it I can't believe I've done this to myself or my partner he doesn't really understand he wants me to come off the blood thinners and the beta blockers . I've got so much anxiety about it I just don't know what to do 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

[Delticlover]

Is it a simple operation to have your mitral value replaced

[PadThaiNoodles in reply to Delticlover]

No, I’m afraid that’s usually the full monty. It’s a bit like getting hit by a bus, but you do get through it. I had mine in September, and I’d say I’m 95% back to normal, aside from the warfarin, bisoprolol, aspirin, and rosuvastatin.

[Delticlover in reply to PadThaiNoodles]

Can a leaky mitral value ever repair itself

[PadThaiNoodles in reply to Delticlover]

Some leaky valves are caused by other structural issues in the heart. For instance, if your left ventricle is dilated due to high blood pressure it can stretch the mitral valve out of shape and cause it to leak. Correcting your blood pressure can allow the heart to remodel the left ventricle back to the correct size after which your mitral valve could return to normal function.

The valve can also be physically damaged. Examples would include scar tissue from rheumatic fever or bad connective tissue from degenerative valve disease (which is what my sister and I have). In these cases the valve will usually (but not always) get worse over time. But as stated earlier, even if it does get worse it can be a very slow progression. And beta blockers can slow the progression in some cases.

As long as the regurgitation is mild or moderate (or even severe if you're not showing other symptoms), they will just monitor it. I never had any symptoms so I was monitored for 20 years (the last 5 years at severe) before they recommended operating.

[Delticlover in reply to PadThaiNoodles]

Thank you I think mine is mild I don't really want to have an operation 😔 I'm not showing other symptoms like breathlessness or anything

[Delticlover in reply to PadThaiNoodles]

Apparently I have got a healthy heart no abnormally's just this leaky valve