Up then down : Mixed today. He's... - British Heart Fou...

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Up then down

Castleview profile image
56 Replies

Mixed today. He's brilliant, walked the entire length of the ward and back👍They want the bed, so to start with were looking to go back to Sheffield Hallamshire ENT ward, then hoping to get him on Devonshire ward Calow Mon Fri and Sheffield weekends. Holding off on that possibly as he couldn't have the stuff in his nose for shocks as one nostril is funny shape and wouldn't be able to fix it in. So now they're talking about putting PEG feed in tummy, would do it in chesterfield and would need to be off blood thinners for 5 days before they can do it. Then after that they would hope to do the shock thing in the nostril he's got the Ng in. So that would be another week. If that worked out, he could hopefully have the cuff down and go to normal ward. One Dr coming back Wednesday to see if he agrees to the PEG but who knows, tomorrow they may get a bed on Devonshire and move him. He'd have to go to Sheffield for weekends because no ent on in royal. So, at the moment not a clue what's happening. Of course I just broke down in tears in front of everyone, but they said they're going to do their best to keep him in chesterfield and agreed with me that if they do the PEG and shocks first it could keep him in HDU a bit. They are full now though. Physio were amazed how far he walked and didn't have a sit down halfway through, and he walked faster up the ward than I do.

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Castleview profile image
Castleview
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56 Replies
AmandaLouise77 profile image
AmandaLouise77

Oh, Sue, what an emotional day for you. The tears could be a good thing, they have to realise that if they break you then they'll delay getting him home further if you can't care for him. Hold your ground and fight for him to stay as local as possible. (Perhaps whisper to him to be less keen on the walking if it helps him to stay local).

Castleview profile image
Castleview in reply to AmandaLouise77

The walking is good, so not stopping that, lol. We'll see what tomorrow brings, they are all wanting him in chesterfield, if he has to leave this ward and commute to Sheffield Friday nights we'll make it work, supposedly by me getting 2 days off at the weekend....which I don't want to do

weepip profile image
weepip

Hi Sue, what a time of it you are both having.so hard with everything changing again just as you thought you had a plan all laid out .I would be the same with the tears sometimes it helps to relieve the pressure. It is good news how his strength is coming back with all this walking. I hope that things improve for you both soon xxx

Castleview profile image
Castleview in reply to weepip

Ralph actually wrote down "Let it out". Then put his arms out to give me a hug, which was tricky with his tracheotomy and the oxygen wire, lol. But we managed, which felt wonderful as it's February since we had a hug🤔😪

WoodlandLover profile image
WoodlandLover in reply to Castleview

Love this 🥰🥰

Greenthorn profile image
Greenthorn in reply to Castleview

What a guy! I will never forget this reply to Weepip. Love IS everything. And I also think Amanda Louise's reply is spot on - about the hospital recognising that there are two patients here and you together are indivisible. Like two patients in one! I think that's such an important point. ❤️

weepip profile image
weepip

Thats love for you he worried about you as well. I'm sure that that hug felt great :)

WoodlandLover profile image
WoodlandLover in reply to weepip

Weepip, I love your warm heart. I think that Sue and Ralph hugs should be an event every time now amidst all the paraphernalia, and a photo taken by a nurse, so they can look back before toooooo long to see how far they've come 🤩🤩

WoodlandLover profile image
WoodlandLover

Ah dearest Sue, have a virtual bear hug from me, and for Ralph too. Your tears were an understandable and positive outlet. Goodness, what you've carried is colossal and they need to be reminded of your humanity as well as logistics.First up - his walking is EPIC. Focus a lot on that. It'll build his strength to come home. I'm sure they'll help him on, making inroads with his throat. It is so hard when it's at the stage it's at with more steps ahead, and still unknown, but he and you will do it. I know you will. Thank God there are ways around feeding us when we can't swallow, and so many other interventions that hold space for us to survive, then start to mend. That's what to hold onto. He will do it. You will too. Heartfelt love to you both.

I'm going through a kaleidoscope of frustrations now in pre op assessments and am not anywhere near dates, and regularly get cold feet. This whole scene feels bizarrely unreal.

You're an incredible soul and so is Ralph. Churchill's little motto was meant to have been KBO. Keep Buggering On. So KBO lass! XX

Castleview profile image
Castleview in reply to WoodlandLover

Thanks for the hug. I'm sending one to you as waiting for dates is a very anxious time. Once you get the date the time comes quickly and you'll soon be on the road to recovery. xx

Stent2024 profile image
Stent2024

god sue , your fight just goes on and on . Sending you and Ralph big hug😘

Castleview profile image
Castleview in reply to Stent2024

They say what doesn't kill you makes you stronger, but seriously beyond a joke now

JeremiahObadiah profile image
JeremiahObadiah in reply to Castleview

This is seriously beyond any sort of half smile let alone joke now, although his strength and determination with walking is admirable and bodes well for his ongoing recuperation.

He must be half the size he started at when he went in to hospital -as must you with all the worry. Xxx

Castleview profile image
Castleview in reply to JeremiahObadiah

He's lost almost 4 stones and I've lost 3, but to be fair we still need to lose more, lol. We have to believe they'll get it sorted, but we'll have to wait and see

Stent2024 profile image
Stent2024

I think you’ve been through more in these last few months , than most people go through in a lifetime .stay strong my friend x

Larneybuds profile image
Larneybuds

Good morning....fantastic news about Ralph with his walking and I'm sure if he can cope with that daily it will definitely help him to regain some strength. I really cannot believe after everything he has been through that they are thinking of all this going backwards and forwards for him.....and for you of course. Letting your tears go is a good thing and you've obviously been bottling that up so having a good cry is your release and even Ralph recognised that. I really do hope they get something sorted with regard to a bed as neither of you should have to cope with all the moving about and if you are really unhappy about it stand your ground with them or perhaps speak to PALS. I can understand them needing an HDU bed but surely that should mean them finding a bed in a ward within the same hospital , especially now that he is established there. I really hope it gets sorted....and I hope Ralph continues with the walking progress xx

Castleview profile image
Castleview in reply to Larneybuds

It's because they only have funding for certain departments Mon to Fri, so have to move at weekends. I'm hoping...and I think the consultant is trying to make it happen...is if he can have the PEG followed by shock treatment at chesterfield it may work enough to at least get the cuff down which they can cope with in chesterfield. Let's see what today throws at us

Larneybuds profile image
Larneybuds in reply to Castleview

I just hope they sort it out with the least disruption for you both with the best end results. Xx

WoodlandLover profile image
WoodlandLover in reply to Castleview

TONS OF GOOD LUCK!

Murderfan58 profile image
Murderfan58

That's wonderful Ralph walked that far you must have been thrilled and he should feel very proud of himself. It shows he is determined to get well and mobile .

At least they are putting plans in place . A lot of moving for treatment that's why it's so important you look after yourself. Physically and mentally. I hope you have good family support and friends you can talk to . Plus doing things you enjoy. Self care is very important when having a loved one so poorly. But you have each other and that is precious. Love like yours will keep each of you going everyday. 🤗

WoodlandLover profile image
WoodlandLover

That's so kind of you Sue, thank you! 🤗 It's becoming a minefield of issues and differing opinions before the tests are even complete. Like Ralph, I also have an allergy to contrast, but I seem have a low immune count too, which has been discovered, which could become a further blight. Surgery was mooted 3 years ago and I went on the waiting list almost 8 months ago, but with a backlog of pandemic cases, emergencies and other private commitments taking precedence. Am living half a life but not sure if that half is the blessing to hold on to, rather than risk the lot. Then of course one feels guilty about the stress on the rest of the family. More KBO-ing 😅 before its even kicked off. It's knackering! My heart (the dodgy and functional parts!) goes out to you, because you're walking the next part with vast courage and effort and I get a glimpse of what that might be like. I feel so strongly that you and Ralph will get there though, I truly do. Your courage has inspired many people and you both have the energetic support, good wishes and love of us all rooting for you, in return. 💕

The biggies like this force life into deeper channels. It feels strange and exacting in the beginning and it's easy to let tiredness and cynicism in, but there are gifts too, in appreciation of so much in life we've taken for granted before, and in the kindness of others. The dedication of the staff who keep doing their best for us in the face of too few colleagues, and sometimes toxic bureaucracy from unhelpful layers of management, is another heroic feature in today's health system.

Love is the most powerful energy of all and you have it, in mountains! Love to both of you XX

Castleview profile image
Castleview in reply to WoodlandLover

Please don't take Ralph's journey as the norm, he's just been incredibly unlucky with recovery. Most people are home within 7 days. xx

WoodlandLover profile image
WoodlandLover in reply to Castleview

You're sweet to send this encouragement. I'm the only one I know who managed to mangle a straightforward coronary angiogram already. Two and a half years later I still have hives and residual visual disturbance and am one of the 0.6-1% who form adverse stats. So I've read Ralph's story with particular sympathy. X

Castleview profile image
Castleview in reply to WoodlandLover

I know Ralph is 0.02% with problems, suppose someone has to be!!

WoodlandLover profile image
WoodlandLover in reply to Castleview

This is it. Someone has to make up the stats. My ears pricked right up when you posted he has a contrast allergy. I hadn't 'met' anyone else yet who has that, and mine hasn't met with much goodwill. I have to fight to protect myself from more of it.

Castleview profile image
Castleview in reply to WoodlandLover

When he found out in Sheffield before his op, the nurse said it was the 3rd one that morning, which made me think it was a bad lot, very strange

WoodlandLover profile image
WoodlandLover in reply to Castleview

REALLY? No one knows what covid or the jabs are fully about yet... Some people have sensitive bodies to many drugs. Honestly. I feel for you guys with a real degree of fellow feeling. You WILL get there. You're stronger than all of it!

Greenthorn profile image
Greenthorn in reply to WoodlandLover

What a wonderful way of expressing what ALL of us on HU want to say but can't find the words. ❤️

WoodlandLover profile image
WoodlandLover in reply to Greenthorn

Gosh, what an encouraging and kind thing to say. Thank you 😊 It helps give me courage to fight my own corner this morning. Although why it should feel like a fight is bewildering. I've always thought one has to be amazingly well, to cope with hospital, otherwise I can't decide which is worse sometimes, the bureaucracy (please know I DON'T include medical staff in that description) or the illness. Certainly the combination of both is... Well - l don't need to say it - everyone will have their own feelings about that, whatever just sprang to mind will be true for you 😅

Wooodsie profile image
Wooodsie

I'm sorry to hear such a mixed bag Castleview. Good news on Ralph's progress, that really is good. But I can't understand the NHS's stance. Seems like they are more concerned about bed space than care for Ralph. It might be a good time for you to get in touch with PALS, they can assist you in advocating, for both you and Ralph. You have coped remarkably well, it is easy for us to say stick to your guns, I am sorry we cannot help directly. Please do do what is best for you too, it isn't selfish it is very sensible. Take care x

Castleview profile image
Castleview in reply to Wooodsie

He isn't ill enough to be in HDU, doesn't need one to one care now, so can understand that. If they were funded 7 days a week for ent it wouldn't be a problem, but smaller hospitals are only funded in certain departments Mon to Fri so lots of people are being moved Fri pm until Mon am! All comes down to money, the staff are as angry and frustrated as we are

Wooodsie profile image
Wooodsie in reply to Castleview

Thank you for explaining that S. It just brings it to the front of what a sorry state the whole Country is in 🤦🤷‍♂️.

Castleview profile image
Castleview in reply to Wooodsie

The consultant told us that yesterday. He said Sheffield Nottingham and Leicester are given the funding and all the smaller hospitals in those areas have to move people at weekends if necessary.

Wooodsie profile image
Wooodsie in reply to Castleview

It baffles me why can't the ENT people travel at the weekends instead of everyone having to go there, a sort of floating service, surely that would be a better use of resources. They could even use video communication.

Castleview profile image
Castleview in reply to Wooodsie

Not the normal staff of ent, but the consultant is at both hospitals! Having said that I'm guessing consultants don't work at the weekends unless it's an emergency

WoodlandLover profile image
WoodlandLover in reply to Wooodsie

My goodness, does it ever. The toxic, intentional run-down of the NHS is scandalous. Huge thanks to the dedicated staff who do their utmost amidst it all. Earth angels!

Wooodsie profile image
Wooodsie in reply to WoodlandLover

I'm not convinced WoodlandLover, that it is entirely due to lack of funding. There seems to be a lot of mismanagement at a middle to top level too. But I do agree the C word in politics is another virus that needs to be got rid of 😂😂

WoodlandLover profile image
WoodlandLover in reply to Wooodsie

A thousand per cent agree, Wooodsie. PALS is good advice, Sue. They cut through a scandalous mess for me. Praying you achieve the right pathway for Ralph's and your max comfort in his ongoing care plan.

A246 profile image
A246

Hello my dear, so glad to hear about your husbands progress, it is truly amazing. I hope that a placement within the hospital that you are happy with can get sorted. Sending massive hugs, prayers and love to you both. May God continue to watch over you both. Xx

Plastow48 profile image
Plastow48

My thoughts and prayers are with you. Hope they find a solution so that he can remain in Chesterfield. They must realise that a shorter travel time for you is important. Ralph's walking is great hold on to that as a positive.Jenny xxxxx 🙏🙏

Sljp0000 profile image
Sljp0000

You actually need to let all your emotions out, it's good for you. You have and are going through so much. Still praying for you both, Ralph & Sue. What an ordeal. Sending God's blessings, love Susie xx

Castleview profile image
Castleview in reply to Sljp0000

I cry at home usually, try not to bring Ralph down. However that may have been a mistake, he worries about me and he was able to give me comfort which helped him I think. I don't mean I'll be sobbing over him every day though 😜x

Sljp0000 profile image
Sljp0000 in reply to Castleview

Yes, it's probably one of the few things he's able to do for you at the moment. Maybe a once a week sob to him is a good thing! Sending love xxx

Coffeeandwalnut profile image
Coffeeandwalnut

Am really pleased about the walking that’s so good . Regarding the possible move I’d be crying too as either the patient or family member. I know it’s todo with funding but there’s something drastically wrong with our system it’s really not right. Hugs to you both and well done to Ralph but please make sure you are taking care of yourself too xx

Dempo profile image
Dempo

So frustrating for you! No wonder you burst into tears! It’s great that he’s getting stronger, though. Hope they can sort out something which means the least amount of disruption for Ralph.

HHH2017 profile image
HHH2017

So glad hes doing well with walking, must be so encouraging. But boy have you been put through the mill too! Crying in front of them is no bad thing - keeps them focussed on your hubby as a human being and not a 'bed'

Sending love & strength.

Silvertail profile image
Silvertail

I think we are all amazed at how strong you have been in such a worrying time for you both. I'm sending you both cyberhugs and flowers.💕🌺🌺🌺 xx

Callie456 profile image
Callie456

Oh goodness what a day! I would've been crying my eyes out too 😭 You are both in my thoughts, sending you hugs and hoping for a more settled road ahead as soon as possible 💗

Avagra profile image
Avagra

Wishing you both well

Qualipop profile image
Qualipop

I completely understand you wanting to keep him where he is; he's done so well since he left Sheffield. Seeing how upset you were will hopefully make hem see that he needs to stay where he is. Tell him we're all cheering about the walking.

Purpled profile image
Purpled

so pleased he can walk that far now and quickly too. Have they said at what point they will let him home or does he have to wait until all help is withdrawn Sue. Onwards and upwards x

niffum32 profile image
niffum32

Hi Sue stand your ground and say he is not going anywhere my hubby was only being moved wards when he was waiting for his by-pass and he discharged himself, he was very anxious at the time luckily I managed to keep him there, Ralph cannot be messed about both of you have been through too much

pauljusa profile image
pauljusa

Great!!🙂

Fairenuff profile image
Fairenuff

I lost my hubby of of over 50 years, 15 months ago, some days are really bad - I read your updates & like others here routing for you, keep up the good fight. 1 step forward and 2 steps back must be incredibly difficult - I'm sending the biggest hugs today

Digger0 profile image
Digger0

What a day! Well done Ralph for walking up the ward and back as an ex- physio i know how please they will have been! you will need to speed up your walking if he is going faster than you.

Nannysue1 profile image
Nannysue1

I very much doubt that anyone would have been surprised to see you cry and there is absolutely no shame in doing it. It's the best stress and anxiety reliever going.You two are a force of nature so stay strong and look forward to happier days, they're hopefully on the horizon. Sue x

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