Hi. Up until now which is a week after i had a heart attack and stent fitted, ive been a bit up and down but now im finding myself speculating on my future especially to do with work.
I work in train maintenance and its heavy going, stressful with shift work and long hours and ezposure to diesel fumes.
Ive also got a long term issue with sciatica as my l4/l5 disc is prolapsed. Ive had a steroid injection to try shrink it and cur the pain but dont know how long that will last.
And on top of that ive had mental health issues since 2010, mainly anxiety related which ive managed to control with medicatiom.
Last night was the first time in ages i found myself waking up sweating, my heard pounding and unable to sleep worrying what will happen if i can no longer do my current job and how that will impact on me and my wife.
We are entering a transition period this coming year with new management and new trains. I was looking forward to it but now i fear theyll take one look at my abscence and health record for the past 6 months and say im not fit to carry on in my current role and salary.
I know im catastrophising and trying to predict the future but i cant help it and i dont think its completely irrational now ive got 3 long term health conditions.
Has anyone got any advice or been a similar predicament?
Ive got a loan that is stopping me from taking a job below a certain pay otherwise i wouldnt be too bothered by a change of role. Its not huge compared to some peoples but its still a millstone.
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I can't exactly relate to your circumstances but I hope this helps?
I work in an intense, stressful job. It's always on my mind, gives me stress, anxiety and to be frank its probably robbed me of times when I have been present with my family physically but not present mentally.
My wife and daughter mean the world to me.
After my heart attack I've done a lot of thinking about myself, my presence in the now, my anxiety and how it robs me of precious moments and all moments, my catastrophising about my job, the future and I made a decision to stop , stop now otherwise things in my head will never change.
I believe even though having a heart attack was crap its made me rethink my life, my priorities, my work life balance, me thinking about what ifs and not the present, me catastrophising which all were bad for me, my daughter and my wife.
It's given me a second chance.
I had a frank and honest talk with my manager and told him that I won't be that same person I was 4 weeks ago, I'm going to alter my work life balance, alter how much of a big deal I perceive myself to my job and my job, as to be frank even without me there the corporate wheels have kept on turning.
You have only just had one of the biggest medical events that can happen to a person, this isn't just physical trauma but it's a emotional one too.
You need to step back from anything else other then your health and your family, and you need to recover well.
When you feel ready to speak to your work people, do so, and they will be legally obliged to now factor in your heart attack and can't discriminate you for it, and have to get you back into work with suitable safe guards.
speak to the British heart foundation for support or any questions they are brilliant
That you very much for replying and sharing your experience.
Youvare right I should try and stay in the present. Ive been for counselling before but i still find it hard to be mindful and stay grounded.
I just hope my wife will eventually talk to someone about how she is feeling as well as she just tends to close off and pretend like everything is ok and pit it to the back of her mind.
Whikst i can lookn head (too far sometimes) and see where there may be problems, and try amd make contingencies, my wife isnt like that.
She cares about me and loves me veey much but i think because of that she dowsnt want to acknowledge how serious this is for me and that it could impact on both our lives and futures.
Some things i think you can wait and see what happens, others inthink need ro be addressed sooner rather than later. Maybe not now but when im a bit better. After all i dont want her to be left in a mess financially so its for her benefit as much as mine.
I just need to stop dont i really and switch off for a few weeks.
money and the future is a burden we all have and I feel you pain and worries about it.Get well first, speak about what's happened with your wife as to keep it buried inside never helps.
Get better, get stronger then plan for the other things.
I am so sorry on top of having a heart attack and stent you are having all this worry that is starting to affect you I think quite a few of us have been where you are thinking about the future and all the things that could happen but we have to try and stay focused on the here and now which I know is so difficult to do
First it is just a week since you had your heart attack and stent your mind will still be trying to process that as that takes longer than the physical recovery you need to give yourself time to get as fit as you can again both mentally and physically as both are equally as important
I am sure if you were to ask your wife she would rather you be here with her and not have your job than push yourself so much your body cannot take it and not be here
It is not your fault you have have these health issues
At this time you do not know what the Company you work for will offer you and if the worse did come to the worse and you had to have a job with less money the loan you have would make a reduced payment plan to fit in with whatever you were earning
There is always a way round things if and when they happen but for now you are the most important person getting as well as you can and then talking with your wife and been realistic about changes that might have to be made
Look at life like a book and this is now a new chapter might not be as good as the last one might be better but you can start it of by how lucky you have been that you are still here after having a heart attack
I am sure others that know so much about what you can do regarding work etc will reply when they see your post
In the meantime get as well as you can and know there will always be a way around things if we need them x
Tha jyou fir your thoughtful reply. You are right of course its just ive always been quite a realistic and practical person and am used to being prepared for eventualities. A hangover from my job where i dont always know exactly what ill be walking into each night but i usually have all the tools i need to tackle whatver it is.
Its very hard not to think the worst but it is early days yet. I need ro find things to keep my mind fully occupied qhilst im off work that i can do safely without overtaxing myself.
I did a 20 minutes walk today to the shops whixh im quite chuffed about. Ive just done a big pile of pots and pans as well and a couole of other little chores.
Its difficult for me as im used to essentially being rushed off my feet at work and alwaya doing something, DIY, going for long walks, going to the gym etc.
Its cos its come to a juddering halt thats thrown me too.
Having heart attacks affects us in so many ways some want to get back to full fitness straight away and struggle because they can't others cannot stop over thinking the list goes on but what we have to do is at least for now try and accept change and what we used to do either put it on hold or accept this is now the new us as we are today
But you have done really well today and I would be chuffed at that to well done you but go steady at the same time when you body says rest you rest you need to be kind to yourself
It is Christmas and nothing is going to happen regarding your situation over Christmas so you might as well enjoy it and give your brain a rest
I remember asking my surgeon why I ended up having heart attacks her reply was 50% they ran in my family and I am a very anxious person always have been very anxious and she did say the other 50%was due to me living a life so anxious all the time she said you would be shocked to know how much harder that makes you heart have to work and over the years puts to much pressure on it
So when you start overthinking think about your heart
Well done today though that is really good what you have achieved x
I moved house and it turned out the house next doorbwas a halfway house and so i had loads of run ins with them and still have the odd one now but not as often.
My mum died in 2016 from a broken hip but was ill for 16 years with heart failure.
2017 i had a serious accident where i could have lost all my fingers on my left hand but luckily our hospital has the best hand surgery specialists in the country and managed to save it. I had PTSD from that.
I changed job twice in 2018.
Covid came along and made thiings veey difficult as my wife is an at risk person so i had ro be very very careful. Even so i got Covid and was really ill for 8 weeks.
The company where i work was bought out and caused a lot of worry for me and my colleagues.
Then this year ive had sciatica so bad ive had to go to A&E twice and have an injection into my nerve root in my back to try calm it down.
Now the business is changing again.
So when i look back it it its no wonder Ive had a heart attack. Its a wonder it didnt happen sson.
I totally acknowledge i am partly responsible in that my diet hasnt always been great nor has my weight although ive never been grossly overweight but enough tonfeel out of breath. I uaed tonsmoke up until 2005 but i was also subjected to passive smoke from both my parents and my brother.
If i was qell enough id go somewhere on my own for a couple of weeks and just get away from everyone and everything. I may do that when im fitter to be honest.
Thank you even though I have started with a cold today kindly given to me by my Husband and Son who when they were asking me what I wanted for Christmas I do not think I asked for a cold but still looks like that is what they have given me I will try my best to have a nice Christmas
Happy Christmas to you to and all the best for the New Year x
Yes we are lots better now thanks for asking and I have done a stamina swim this lunchtime which I really really enjoyed as I always do!
Tonight we are having a prawn salad for dinner to use up leftovers rather than having things thrown in the bin which I think is a disgrace throwing food in the bin when so many are starving!
Here we had a load of salad veg in the fridge that needed to be used up and the prawn cocktail so a prawn salad was an ideal option for tonight's dinner!
It was lettuce, cucumber and raw swede and the prawns cocktail as well!
At the leisure centre I go to they do a food bank as well and I think it's an absolute disgrace in a rich country like this there's a need for those places!
Sounds like you have had a lovely tea and it is a good idea to have a Food Bank in a leisure centre I do not think we have one ours our either in entrances to shops or there is a couple of places especially set up to accept contributions x
Same thing happened to my friend last weekend had all her grandchildren for dinner and by Monday she was in bed with a really bad cold but she's told herself by Christmas day she's going to be just fine.
I was diagnosed with serious heart failure, a blood clot in my heart and Left Bundle Branch Block 4 months ago and it is truly terrifying. I was a self emloyed painter & decorator and was told no way i could do such a physical job maybe ever again. The part of your post i can relate to is the loan. Dont let that rule your life. I've got a couple of credit cards and a small loan so i simply phoned the companies, told them the situation and they have all been great. Your loanee will be the same. I'm sure they will come up with some way to help you. Dont lose sleep over it, concentrate on getting well. If the worst comes to the worst and you cant pay then so be it. You can't give them what you don't have. Good luck.
If you are open and honest with places like loan companies most of them are very kind and sympathetic as taking people to court is very stressful for all involved!
along with what’s been said - with which I fully concur- I’m looking at this from the wife point of view here.
You will probably do well to have little chats. Not sitting opposite each other but, for instance, ask her to come along with you for your walks. It would be nice to go to a park say.
And as you go along, talk about the weather and if you can hear any birds and what were we doing ten years ago today…. and gently bring the talk round to your and her fears for the future. Acknowledgment that you both have fears but that you’ve got each other to support each other. Just talk for a few minutes then put it to one side : until the next day, a little longer walk, a little longer talk just chatting as you walk beside each other.
When my husband was first diagnosed with heart troubles I thought my life would change radically, for the worse. Twenty years later, we have a great life.
I th8nk that is sound advice and probably the only way to get her tontalk about such things. She tends to shut down when i try and say we need to sit down and have a talk.
I’m 11 month post heart attack. It turned my whole world upside down. Firstly, cut yourself some slack and take time to recover. What you’re currently going through is totally normal part of the post h/a recovery. Take it slow. I found the mental side far harder than the physical. When you’re able, attend the rehab programme. You’ll find so much help and advice from the team. Tap into every resource you can. It’s amazing to find so many helpful people and realise you don’t have to suffer alone in silence. All of the replies on here contain really useful information so use it.
I was and still am in a situation where I was unemployed but at an age where finding a job is challenging due to age discrimination. I’ve started a number of courses to keep my mind occupied which is crucial to recovery.
The medication also posses its own challenges so be prepared for potential side effects which may or may not hinder you.
Ask to be referred to the talking therapies services, they were great for me and teach things like progressive muscle relaxation which really helps overcome anxiety and anxious feelings. When you can, get outside and walk on the air. It really helps.
There’s lots of support available with employment issues also.
Best of luck to you on the journey we’re all on and trying to figure out 👍
I had blood clots in the lungs back in 2017 and looking back I feel it was one of the best things that could have happened to me as it made me reevaluate my life and I learned how most matters aren't urgent or important in life.
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