Hi, I've recently had a cardio ablation & version & notice on all letters on conditions I'm stated as overweight which is true although I've lost 10 kg through diet & is ongoing. However following my procedure my cardiologist gave me a debrief & said it went well & poked at my stomach & said"were getting some of this off you next". Very insensitive I thought as was feeling vulnerable on hospital bed. I'm struggling to let this go & seeing him again soon, thoughts please?
Rude cardiologist : Hi, I've recently... - British Heart Fou...
Rude cardiologist
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SaxmanAD
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thirty years ago cardiologists thought they were world rulers and treated staff and patients as their underlings - yours may have gone in the opposite direction and got too matey. He sees many many patients who are overweight I’m sure.
Rise above it!
I’m guessing many consultants have no idea what it is to struggle with health problems .. my rheumatologist said something like that once & I said it was difficult to raise a smile some days let alone run or do something like take up jogging I was going to sponsor him to do a run but he replied I should I then proceeded to say I am up in pain most nights & if I took a heavy book bashed him over the head then proceeded to hit him hard in his knee caps , ankles, back plus stick needles in my for continuous blood test & steroids & immune suppressants.. then withhold sleep following that & keeping me buzzing for a couple of days & then turf him outside to stand him out in the cold weather as that’s how I feel with the chill & temperature fluctuations with anaemia & put my fingers down his throat as meds make me feel nausea.. & then finally finish off by saying & welcome to my day he quickly shut up & never ever said anything like that again .. lol 😜
Good for you!
Hello 
You have admitted you are overweight but well done on your weight loss
Nowadays anyone that is overweight even if just a bit they tend to have to note it down and this is for everyone
When your cardiologist said we are getting some of this of next do you think they were saying it in a caring way but because you are aware of it you did not see it as been caring but as an insult ?
I think it depends what tone of voice they said it in
I am sure they did not mean to offend you even though I can see why it would but were just pointing out this is something to try and focus on next to help improve your health which is something so many of us need to do x
the thing I picked up on most is inappropriate touch - he wasn’t examining you so what was the need to poke your stomach with a finger?
I’ve had two occasions where I wasn’t sure if the “touch” was appropriate or just accidental but I knew it was unnecessary to the issue being investigated - fear stopped me reporting but I knew it weren’t right. Kind of regret that now.
He should be made aware that’s not appropriate at least regards the manner in which he spoke to you / the words he used? But I can’t speak or encourage someone as I didn’t say something myself.
Weight wise, well done on the loss. Trying to find something positive did he mean they were going to help you with further weight loss albeit his approach and choice of words were terrible?
👍
Sorry but but maybe we you need to be less sensitive and more " yeh you got a valid point Doctor so I will act like an adult, take some ownership of my health , continue to take ownership and not deflect my health issues by making you out to be some bad guy who said something to hurt my feelings ".
SaxmanAD• in reply to
There's no deflecting here my friend, if you take time to read my original post & the progress I've made so far will understand that I'm on point as far as ownership & being responsible for my actions. Sensitive I am but rudeness is not required to achieve goals I'm sure you will agree. Thanks for your valuable input & sharing your view.
• in reply toSaxmanAD
Understood, when I had my heart attack, the next day the cardiologist came in to first see me he said " lol, wow, lol, you just had the widowmaker and survived lol" .
I said thanks and then we had a informative chat on what happened to me and what I need to do in the future, no harm done, nothing personal taken.
MoretonCross• in reply to
Reply to baly_2023 Absolutely.
Mota1• in reply to
Spot on
I guess it can come across as insensitive. At least you know he still cares. If he didn’t care he probably would have said nothing and role his eyes as he left. Is he easy to talk to? Can you be honest with him? If yes, give him a chance. If not, vote with your feet and see someone else. Good luck.
Did you notice their physique? Bet a lot of medics could do with losing weight!
My GP once made reference to my age, ‘you’re going on 40’! I swiftly replied‘don’t be so rude’, he looked as though I’d slapped him. No more did he make rude responses.
in fact soon to the Prof when I was the target of his & husbands jokes 🙄
Once had good training in responses
ps I’m now heading for 67 🙄
age is just a number … it’s how you feel that counts I’m going to be 60 this year but with all my health issues I feel over 100 but say that my personality & my heart truly tries to be young around the 40 mark .. currently awaiting for a Tavi surgery as one of my valves doesn’t work I’ve aortic stenosis but I was told I was too young for the operation!!!! !!! I told them I hadn’t realised that I had a best before date on my heart in order for a Tavi …& this was & now the situation I’m in .. having wasted 4 years & my health has deteriorated so I can’t have surgery on my back nor anywhere else until it’s fixed .. aged 40 I suffered an injury & need a sent prior to surgery on my neck I’ve now 5 stents in situ already so a bypass isn’t an option 3 are holding good two are not in the best condition hence why a bypass isn’t deemed good but I need general anaesthesia for my surgery on my spine I’ve rheumatoid arthritis & multiple allergies to morphine codeine various local anesthetiser I’ve already had problems with MRI contrast dye am diabetic obese - but my obesity is mainly due to my having polycystic ovaries, thyroid disease plus pancreatic enzymes insufficiency & plus the obesity is more likely because I lack exercise but I’ve two disc protruding out of my spine& a metal plate in my neck … & was told I’m too young for a TAVI ! What a joke tomorrow I get the decision so fingers crossed as it’s being discussed in a multi disciplinary. My life truly is in the hands of a man who forgot that he had a room full of patients in his clinic & was across other side of the world lecturing so didn’t tell his PA to cancel it ! He has been so dismissive of what I need doing & I’ve consultants awaiting the go ahead for their ops . I’m so sorry for ranting on but it’s so frustrating to battle for the right to shown some respect.. your at the mercy of doctors & we often feel so helpless I attended cardiac intervention thinking I was on the TAVI list last year only to be told I was too young at 59 ! & aPro saying oh in my country ( he’s German) if you was there they do or go private !
How ruddy frustrating and irritating, I so feel your angst. I understand your issues, I trained in anatomy & physiology for Reflexology practice and had to research health conditions of my patients. It’s all a delaying tactic I feel. I’m lucky enough to have had private cover for many years due to husbands job, having said that you still see the same professionals and it doesn’t guarantee they’ll be any better. If you are able to fund the consultations that can help to progress your treatment.
Hi
I would raise a complaint against him. I have worked in the NHS for many years and there are doctors who seems to think, for one reason or another, they can speak to people as though they don't matter. This is unacceptable and should be reported. We are all equal no mater what academic status you are at!
He may be a cardiologist but you are still you, very scared, very vulnerable and needing support at this time!
I agree.I understand that some may need to lose weight to help with their health but there is a right way to say this. This doctor maybe got carried away and thought they were being funny but at that level, they certainly should know better and know that weight is a sensitive topic.
I also work in the NHS and see patients myself. It's just not acceptable, especially to poke as mentioned.
I appreciate the work doctors do but many can be very rude and people get scared to complain in case it causes issue with their care. Then the bad staff get away with it and patients continue to suffer.
(To add, I know its not all Dr's and it certainly includes other health care professionals and hospital staff overall)
Raise a complaint? Against someone who has maybe just saved your life??? Get things into perspective
it doesn’t matter what shape and size you are, nobody should be body shamed. I am coming from a slightly different angle here because I counsel people who have disordered eating and are trying to address either being overweight or underweight by bmi standards. To make yourself better, either address it with the cardiologist face to face or write a letter once you have been discharged. If it stops them doing it to someone else then that’s worth it. Funnily enough my husband was very underweight before and after his bypass. This was never mentioned although in my humble opinion, this can put just as much pressure on a heart
Move on.
He had a point.
If more Doctors were honest with people perhaps we wouldn't have the obesity/diabetes crisis we currently have in the country.
I applaud your Doctor, I just wish more followed their lead.
During my few weeks at my local acute cardio ward in December last year, I observed many instances of rudeness from one senior consultant! He had " fall outs " with at least 3 patients in my bay. He turned his back on some and stormed out when they didn't appreciate his manners and point of view! When his name is mentioned to some staff, you can see their eyes roll, even if tactfully they say nothing against him! His reputation proceeds him, sadly.
Personally, my dealings with him have been very limited and he has been ok with me, but his manner is brusque and has an air of " I know best, you will accept that! "
Unfortunately your doctor's response and, perhaps even more disappointingly, some of the responses on here speak to a sad and potentially dangerous culture of blaming individuals for wider issues, and looking for simple answers to complex problems. That doesn't mean weight is not linked to health. Of course it is. But there are plenty of other factors. And there is a time, a place, and a way to have those kinds of conversations.As someone with a heart condition, thyroid issues and rheumatoid arthritis, I have to work extremely hard not to gain weight. I was previously very physically active... team sports, gym, running etc. But this is no longer doable.I have had weight and weight gain put on medical letters without any context. I have also been commended for keeping myself slim when having heart procedures. In fact have been gently complained at for there not being enough space to put all the pads. I'm a pretty average weight for my height.
So this probably is based on the experiences and perceptions of the clinician, rather than my body shape. But either way it misses the reality of the lived experience, which is that it's hard work living with chronic health conditions. And most of us are doing our best. Let's not shame each other or add to the misery. As one of the regular contributors here might say, in a world where you can be (almost) anything, be kind! 🌸
I agree. the issue first mentioned was rudeness of a clinician and not obesity/diabetes as some feel righteously to bring up. Losing weight with a chronic health condition is hard work. I can hold testament to that so yes kindness not condemnation is what is required.
Hi Saxman. This to me sounds like a silly off-the-cuff remark from someone who's running to a medical agenda and doesn't understand how to deliver good bedside manner. It was a thoughtless thing to say and do to you. To begin with, "we" are not going to shift anything; you are. That was a patronizing thing to say.
It would have been better and wiser for the doc to have asked you about weight loss, then congratulated you on your achievement thus far. What a wasted opportunity for some encouragement! So, just to recap, you've lost 10k; well done!
In my experience (as a patient, not a medic) doctors can have more hang-ups than the average wardrobe. I think some were offered too many science books as a child and not enough cuddles/social interaction. There's always a back-story for everyone, whatever their profession.
So, stay positive and keep smiling at silly remarks from highly-skilled people who mean well but are running on empty when it comes to personal communication skills. That's their problem; don't make it yours.
You've certainly had a mixed bag of responses.I also lost 10 kg, and got problems well after I had. My cardiologist had said I needed to lose weight and added that it was probably the cause of my AF. I asked him why it hadn't started until well after I had lost 10 kg, and he immediately back tracked.
I didn't see him until 15 months after I started to get problems, but I did see a multitude of other doctors and at no time was I given ANY advice about helping myself, including weight loss. To be honest it simply didn't occur to me, as after being at a certain weight for all of my adult life, to achieve a 10 kg weight loss left me feeling quite good about myself.
There are different ways to deliver information, and the best way is the one that encourages you to keep trying while acknowledging you achievement so far.
I don't know how I would have handled it, I'd like to think that I'd have looked him in the eye and asked him if that was entirely appropriate, but whether or not I would at that time I don't know.
Best of luck with whatever you decide.
It seems to me that the message was correct but, for you, the delivery was wrong. Point this out to him when you see him soon.
Best response would be to keep on losing another 10kg, and another, until your BMI is below 25.
it’s very difficult to explain yourself and the progress you’ve made when you’re feeling vulnerable. Maybe right a polite letter to the cardiologists secretary and ask her to show it to the cardiologist before your next appointment. The letter should be polite and explain how you had already taken ownership and lost over 10k before hand. My aim in such a letter would be to try and get the cardiologist on side whilst explaining how hard your already working on your weight. It might help the anxiety you may be feeling at meeting him again knowing you’ve explained it calmly in a letter. Good luck
Tell him how you feel. He may think he's God's gift to cardiology but he's not a mind reader. It may stop him being so insensitive in the future. We can live in hope !!!!
Hi, SaxmanAD,
On a scale of 0–10 with 0 being extremely rude/arrogant and 10 being sensitive to patient’s feelings/needs and caring, I would likely rate your doctor as possibly 3/4. Please bear in mind that my scale is highly subjective. 😀
Unfortunately for me, I always find that my cardiologist does talk, but he usually says little. I saw him because I had been (and continue) to suffer with shortness of breath. Some days are worse than others, and sometimes I don’t seem to be bothered as much by this problem. I was referred to the cardiologist for an echocardiogram to try to figure out the cause of my breathlessness.
I saw him approximately 3 months following my test to discuss my results. He talked and talked, but near the end of my visit, I had to ask, “Doctor, what exactly is causing my difficulty breathing?” He looked at me, sat leaning on the edge of the examining table, crossed his feet, and said, “ I don’t know.”
So, no additional tests were ordered, and I still don’t know what is causing my problems in breathing. Well, I do have one possible hypothesis based on my echocardiogram results, but the doctor has not exactly confirmed it.
For me, trying to talk with/listen to a cardiologist is like trying to listen to an American meteorologist giving the weather report. They talk about everything related to weather for five full minutes, but I stopped listening and walked away without knowing if it is going to rain, snow, or be sunny. 😎
Sorry for the long rant—just my frustrations showing. I have an appointment with my cardiologist on May 3rd.
Take care! ❤️
I am very overweight and have been for many years, I do exercise 4-5 hrs per week, cycling generally. Some time ago I queried that my GP hadn't mentioned my weight, this was many years before my SCA. "It's not my job to monitor or comment patients' weight was his reply."
I suppose it depends on how well you got on with your Dr before this incident. He sounds like he is friendly and communicative but I agree poking you in the tummy is rather rude but he probably just lacks self awareness on what is acceptable and what isn't and is just old- fashioned friendly. If you are feeling vunerable at the moment which is normal perhaps his actions upset you more than they would have under other circumstances. I would prefer someone like him to a pompous, robotic dr with no empathy.I wish you a speedy recovery.
I would have to say it would depend on the tone of voice it was given in as it might have been dust a friendly, yeah we will be working on that next. On the other hand maybe it was not so sweet. The first time I met the surgeon that was going to do my TAVI with my cardiologist he bluntly stated, "Do you want to die?" Fortunately as retired nurse I was well used to doctors with piss poor bedside manners and surgeons seem to have the worst. I didn't let it get to me. He also told me right after that that he was surprised I wasn't dead considering my condition. Yeah, I can of figured that out myself doc. Fortunately for me he was a very good surgeon, which of course why I chose him despite his manners.
SaxmanAD, Look at it this way. He is interested in what is important to get you well. Some cardiologists could not give a toss and just treat the problem in front of them.
Congratulations on losing some kgs. It's not easy. Best wishes for a return to better health.
'and poked at my stomach' is the part of your message that got me. This is your personal space, and that was disrespectful NOT medical. Stating you are overweight is medical. Your cardiologist needs this pointed out to learn from it.
Do mention how it made you feel or if you have anyone with you next time prime them to mention the effect it had on you. I'm sure you will feel better, your cardiologist will learn and hopefully others won't be made to feel vulnerable too. Good luck.
How do the nurses and receptionists one sees at GP surgeries -when you manage to get an appointment-live with themselves, when they are telling patients you have to lose weight?? I have seen some of the fattest waddling down corridors in hospitals!
Sadly he is probably correct, if tactless and basically unhelpful. Overweight is closely linked to heart disease. I know!! But I managed to lose over 30 kg using different forms of fasting walking the dog. The 5/2 plan worked well for me, followed up by twelve to sixteen hour fasts achieved by eating nothing between evening meal and lunch next day. Good luck and my commiserations!
No it is not, thin or "normal" people have have just as much heart problems! But of course if it is a problem for you, you should loose weight.
rise above it, it was insensitive but concentrate on your road to recovery, that’s where you need your energy
Hi,I have read through all the replies to your post and I am gobsmacked to read so many replies basically telling you not to be so sensitive!!??. I wonder if the people replying have a weight issue?? Being in hospital is never easy and you feel very vulnerable and out of your comfort zone. You are at the mercy of the doctors and nurses really and just hope they will be nice to you!! I was in hospital for 15 days last year having had 3 heart attacks and was waiting for a double heart bypass. During that time I watched and listened to many members of staff. Some were lovely and some were most definitely not. I am a fairly strong person but I was in an old hospital over an hour from my home. I was worried sick at the prospect of this upcoming operstion, and I felt very vulnerable and alone. The junior doctors were fantastic but the consultants and registrars were mostly arrogant and dismissive. The worst thing was hearing them talk about you at the bottom of your bed each morning!!?? Such an outdated practice and so disrespectful to the patient. Now......did I ever say anything or challenge staff that were rude??? No I did not!! For only one reason, and that was that I did not want to be labelled a trouble maker or receive detrimental treatment from the staff!!! We, of course, should never feel like this, but the fact is, It happens!!! I have witnessed it!! So best stay quiet!!
For what it is worth, I think your cardiologist was arrogant, exceptionally rude, unprofessional, insensitive, and just downright ignorant!!! I sometimes wonder how these people would react if they were in a strange environment, felt scared and vulnerable, and someone did this to them? or a member of their family?? It's all about control and an abuse of power.
If they were in my work space and came to me with certain issues, I would already know that they felt uncomfortable and vulnerable and so would treat them with dignity, respect and empathy.
There is never a need to insult any one or put them down.
There is always a way to communicate with someone where they feel.they are respected, valued and safe.
I am so sorry you have had this experience.
Please know that not everyone is the same as this cardiologist.
I agree it can be hard when someone says something direct and to the point with no sugar coating - even if it’s delivered in what he may thought of as a jokey way.. however it’s likely that the man may have just saved your life so lodging a complaint seems rather extreme and unnecessary.
There is no reason why you can’t say something to him when you next meet to tell him that when he made that comment it made you feel upset - that’s simply stating the truth and will give him the feedback he needs.
I would be surprised if he meant to deliberately unsettle you rather more encourage you on your weight loss journey….. try to leave it behind - you have other more pressing priorities to overcome your recent health issues this is not worth your energy in fretting over
Good luck
Hiya,
Having read your post and some of the comments, I thought I’d put my two pence in.
Firstly, I’m really sorry that this happened to you. I had a similar situation where my cardiologist berated me for my weight every day (in front of his entire MDT and my ward whilst I sat half naked having an echo and he opened the curtains for everyone to see) whilst I was an inpatient for CHF. My arteries are completely clear, my cholesterol is fine and I’ve never had an issue with blood pressure, my heart failure is genetic and nothing to do with my weight, but he still felt this was necessary. I’m here if you ever need to talk <3
To everyone writing ‘he’s just doing his job’ and ‘maybe we’d have less of an obesity epidemic if more people were like him’: I’m a therapist who works very closely with eating disorders, and have been diagnosed with one myself for over 16 years. Body shaming has the opposite effect. It encourages fad dieting and extreme restriction, which feeds into the restrict/binge cycle. It creates disordered eating, which often leads to people being bigger, not smaller - it’s a myth that anorexia is the only serious eating disorder and that extremely thin is the only way it goes. Since my hospital admission above (last July), I relapsed and ended up putting on weight, not losing. It doesn’t work so maybe know your facts before you speak. This sort of commentary and language reinforces self-hatred and that does not result in a person wanting to take care of their body, quite the opposite.
If I hadn’t been fat, my doctor would have sent me off for tests when I first started being unwell and went to them, instead of just sending me off telling me to lose weight when I told them multiple times over months my obvious symptoms of heart failure (this wasn’t obvious to me at the time but my new cardiologist has told me they were negligent and should have known immediately). If my GP had seen past my weight, I might have got help before an EF of <10% and collapsing into A&E. Medical fatphobia kills.
SaxmanAD, you’re doing great, and I’m sure the best you can do at this time. I wish you all the best in your recovery, regardless of what you weigh you deserve the same respect, care and consideration as anyone else.
Firstly, congratulations on your procedure going well and getting 10kg off (I'm only half way there with a lot more to go!).
The way I have interpreted what you have written is that the cardiologist was trying to say we're going to continue to help you get to where you want to be in a friendly - and encouraging - manner.
We all take things in a different way. For me, I really like that approach as it is very human and similar to my character, but I can see where others may find it uncomfortable.
I wouldn't over think it, as it clearly had positive intentions.
Make sure you hold him to it, and get all the support and help you deserve to hit your target!
So you would be comfortable with being poked in the stomach as part of a “light hearted” approach to commenting on a weight issue? However, friendly they are trying to be? Guess we’re all different.
I prefer that type of informal approach, but totally understand an opposite view.
I need to get a few stones off, one down and 5 to go. It really annoys me when medical staff beat around the bush for worry of offending me.
The positive is that it sounds as if he was offering ongoing support: albeit in a rather unconventional way.
anyway, if I've horrified anyone with my response then I will say " sorry" .
But I will say that for me, any advice any observation, anything to help point me in a position to better my future outcomes and health given, that might be a frank,honest, uncomfortable conversation with my GP, my cardiologist ,my cardio rehabilitation instructor and my wife or friends is something I welcome as it helps me focus on the end goal.
When being treated for heart conditions one of the most important things is the psychological effect it can have on a patient. your cardiologist lowered your self-esteem which is detrimental to your health. If I was you I would send him a private email to explain how you feel, not in a complaining way but in an informative way, and say that you hope he won't speak to other patients like that.
In comparison, when I had my aorta replaced my male nurse found a lipstick in my drawer and instructed me to put it on so I did. My surgeon came to see me later and said, you look beautiful. I actually looked like a rolled-up lump of uncooked pastry but it didn't half make me feel better. Now that's what I call a brilliant bedside manner. my surgeon's name is Mr Sabatai and he operates at St Thomas's and London Bridge. Not only is he a brilliant surgeon but he really understands how to treat a woman, lucky Mrs Sabatai.
I come late to this discussion. My own interpretation was that it was a breezy remark that wouldn't have worried me at all. During my last cataract op, the team were chatting away about other things and there was a phone ringing unanswered next door. And I can think of several incidents with GPs and consultants that I did not like and were far more upsetting than the OP's. (Senior consultant diagnosing an eye problem without examination or explanation, leading me to pay £420 for a private consultation that showed the problem was a different one and less alarming.)
Currently I'm still VERY upset about how the "Gatekeeper" - Admin staff - dealt with me last week when I rang up Haematology to mildly enquire about a follow-up appointment I should have had early in April and to report disturbing new symptoms. "No, you can't talk to a nurse because we haven't allocated you one." Admin then suggested a course of action that was completely unsuitable. I threw a wobbly, which led to a haematologist contacting me and acknowledging that my latest symptoms were unusual.
Speaking of breezy consultants, does anyone else recall James Robertson Justice in the "Doctor" films ? I suspect that he would have upset the OP.
No matter what arguements are given for and against here I think we've got to remember that these genius's (and thats what they are) save lives every single day. Some are arrogant, some have very little or no bedside manner and some are sociable. Lets be honest, given the choice of someone saving my life and saying Im overweight or one who can converse happily with me but hasnt got all the skills required, I know what I would choose
I have had a few and witnessed a few myself the worst for me was my cardiologist told me I had heart failure and then said why are you smirking it is serious and promptly walked off!
The following day when he came I told him I wasn't smirking I was bloody shocked and surprised at the diagnosis, I did it nicely because I was not going to let him get under my skin.
The worst I witnessed was when a senior doctor in A&E told my elderly father not too waste their time, I was firm in speaking to him this was not right. My partner at the time and sister (who worked in A &E) said we had a right to complain. i did think about it but didn't.
The best was when I was told at a pre diabetes course I needed to lose weight. My answer to her was Are you having a laugh and where from? Why did I say that because at the time I am 6ft 5 and 71 kg! It was never mentioned again.
You never forget but do get over it.
Well done for losing weight so far, what I would do is turn it around on thim. When you see him next time say you had already started to lose weight when I saw you but you didn't give me the chance to tell you this, and since then I have lost .... further weight. May just get your point across.
You have done so well losing that amount of weight so far, don’t let him put you off, continue. He was probably trying to be funny but wasn't. Just continue in your weight loss journey you’re doing great. All the best.
However the remark was made, and poking you is not on, the consultant completely ignored the amount of weight you had already lost and were still trying. Don't doctors know that asking open questions such as "What are you doing to control your weight?" are a much better way of connecting with patients? You have done so well, and to have a remark like that thrown at you is insensitive and dismissive in a way.
I once was referred to a surgeon by my GP. He said "This surgeon is a very rude man - you won't like him - but he is an excellent surgeon." He was rude, but being prepared for it made a world of difference in how I related to him.
Hi SaxmanADI Would tell him how you felt at his comments, and tell him you've been working hard to get your weight off, and hope he will apologise to you x
Good luck
Trish
Some specialists are very abrupt and full of themselves. I can take anything on the chin that I interpret to be said in my best interests. I think that would include your reported comment about obesity. The multiplicity of nationalities among consultants nowadays come from many different cultures and have their own way of saying things. That's understandable too, but it can sometimes spill over into downright rudeness, and I won't let them get away with it. I was having a conversation with a cardiologist a couple of years ago, and I happened to query something with him. "I ask the questions," he replied, tersely. "No," I said. "Not exclusively, you don't. It's my heart, my health, and if you are doing your job you will answer my questions too." He was taken aback, but he apologised and I never had further trouble in chatting with him. May have simply been a bad day for him, but sometimes you have to stand your ground and be equally robust, obviously without losing your temper.
… the BMI standards used are a joke. My height and weight calculations imply that I am overweight. Using the standard doesn’t apply if you are heavy muscled. My vascular surgeon was quite surprised when he met me in person and complimented how lean I actually was versus the BMI number. Either way I would take that as compliment or use it as an inspiration to keep losing the weight. Take a negative and turn it positive !!
When I moved to a new town and job in 1974, a colleague who lived near me recommended a GP. I rang him up and asked him what his surgery hours. "Oh you need to go to the Post Office and look them up in the medical register [or some such],"he said. 🙄 (Luckily the PO was only a hundred yards from my office.)
He seemed to run his surgery entirely on his own, though a woman may have answered the phone.
Eight years later, my local office closed and was combined with another in London. For some reason (never determined), I started to feel extremely tired, not helped by a commute to London, meaning my catching a 0645 or 0715 train. "I have trouble getting up in the morning," I said. He snapped back "What do you expect me to do, come and wake you up". (Not long afterwards, he died suddenly so perhaps he had his own health problems.)
Perhaps the OP may compare our stories of being slighted by the medical profession with theirs?
When I had a heart attack three years ago the cardiologist who put my stent in came up to see me the following day. He said he was pleased with how things had gone but gave my abdomen a gentle poke and said I need to lose a few kilos or more. I thanked him for all he had done for and for the good advice.
Ask him for advise on how to loose weight in a healthy way.....
There is no harm in letting them know that certain things regarding your weight and body image has a psychological impact on you. Your emotional and physiological health is just as important as your physical. Be gentle with yourself heart conditions are known to add to the middle area (stomach) so it's quite often an upwards battle so they could maybe be more sensitive.
I can truly understand where your coming from, I was insulted at a Dr surgery by a Dr that had never read my notes so no understanding of my condition, it un expectable . Your feeling in a very delicate at the moment after going life changing procedures and everything you hear from people grates , I totally understand , your doing well is what he should of said and to keep up the good work , not poke you in the stomach and say this has to come off , comments like that make you feel low and can make you put on weight through comfort eating . I don’t have any advice dealing with these people I’m afraid but keep doing what you’re doing and good luck with your next appointment.
I think you're being over sensitive, the cardiologist has one aim and that's to save your life, note he said 'we're going to get this off' not 'you'. Medical staff are here to preserve our life not sugar coat a serious problem. If my cardiologist told me that, I would take his words as a warning on my future health. Sometimes we just need to be put straight.
Dear SaxmanAD!
What a terrible doctor. Don’t let him make you feel in any way bad about yourself !!
Your body is yours and it’s not his place to judge and talk to you like that.
It’s all so easy for doctors to judge patients.
We are vulnerable and we do rely on their help- albeit professional !
Especially when lying in bed after a procedure when you are literally vulnerable , it’s disgusting that he thinks it is ok to talk to you like that.
I would report that behaviour and change specialists.
A personal story I have about my first cardiologist is I went to him with symptoms at 29 years old and they found I had some issues and he joked “don’t worry your heart won’t suddenly stop if you’re on the beta blockers!”
This is my first consultation with him, I am 29, scared and also traumatised by my recent symptoms. And he’s talking about my heart stopping ??
Also he said “by the way, if you’re ever interested in getting pregnant I’d love to study you so let me know.”
Repulsive man. He was young at the time and is now a well respected surgeon/cardiologist (in Sydney Australia)
I have many other stories about subsequent cardiologists, as I am now 43 and have moved countries!
We can’t let them get to us ! We deserve respect regardless of our health conditions.
Fight on!
HiyaYep I had the same thing as well.. I'm quite a muscly person also which means I'm decieving on the scales ..as you get older it gets harder to lose the weight and the meds they also out us on with heart conditions also contribute to out difficulty.. theyre all rude imo... I have to fight to lose 3stone just for my large hernia to be repaired ...u can't exercise within so I'm stuck in a bloody rut..I rat fairly healthy and slimming clubs don't work . I had my op cancelled 4days before I was meant to get it done,I'd had all the pre admission stuff done etc and got the all clear for op then surgeon said nope your morbidly obese and I'm nit doing it cos ut would be a waste if my time and work.. 😱idiot.he never even same in person either 😠 Don't take it to heart they're not placing themselves in our shoes especially those if us who aren't able to help hiw we are take care and just be you... xx
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