Terrified my husband will die soon

[Mrs-dod]

My husband who is 49 has stage 3 heart failure due to dilated cardiomyopathy.This is as a result of previous cancer treatment. We have young children. This has come as such a shock. I don't know how to get on with normal life (even though I am). I feel so frightened and sad.

[sturon]

Not many will know how to reply to you. At such a young age to have multiple health issue is hard to cope with. Your young family will need your strength and your support. Seek help from you practice nurse and GP. I hope you can enjoy this festive time and make the most of every day. Make happy memories and take lots of photos.

[Mrs-dod in reply to sturon]

Thank you for your kind words xx

[Sljp0000]

I am so sorry you and your family are going through so much.

Have you had a good chat to your husbands cardiologist. Have they given a prognosis? Is there anything which can improve your husbands health? Have you sort online groups to talk to others with the same issues? It sounds like you need talking therapy. You can refer yourself online through the NHS app. Going through so much anxiety is detrimental to your health and its so important you look after you as well as your husband and family.

Have you spoken to the British Heart Foundation too? They may be able to help you or even pass you into an organisation where others are suffering the same.

I don't know if you have any faith at all, but I was drawn to faith during lockdown, and I can't tell how much it has helped me over the last few years. Ive had a traumatic time. My church family is incredible. Maybe contact your local church or ask around if anyone locally can recommend one?

With very best wishes

God bless

Susie

[Barre01]

Heart Failure is an awful term and unhelpful. I slid into this territory last year after surviving a heart attack 5 years ago.

The good news is that treatment for this condition has improved significantly in recent times, I have responded well to my new medication and am feeling a lot better.

My symptoms - breathlessness and palpitations have largely disappeared. Hopefully, your husband will also respond to treatment. There are a lot of us out there living good lives with HF.

Best wishes to you both.

[Mrs-dod in reply to Barre01]

Thank you, so far he has responded well to treatment. I am still so shocked. I know we won't grow old together and I know he will never walk our daughter down the aisle. I am still trying to accept it. I wish you the best x

[Parsley56]

Of course you must be in massive shock. My heart goes out to you. Do ask for help, and don't keep your fears hidden. Literally none of us know how long we have left, including your husband. You can only do your best in what must be the hardest challenge you've had to face together. Everyone on here will feel empathy for you.

[Mrs-dod in reply to Parsley56]

Thank you so much. I'm on this forum for support. Hospital just sent us on our way with a heart failure leaflet. Kind words from strangers is helpful xx

[JAVA12]

You need support. Does your husband have a care plan team? If not, you should ask your GP for this. A number of areas across the country have been given extra funding to help support people with heart failure. Here is a link that tells you a bit more:

england.nhs.uk/nhs-at-home/...

Good luck, stay strong but look after yourself too.

[Mrs-dod in reply to JAVA12]

Thank you. I will check this website out. X

[Nugen]

There aren't words which will say how much we feel for you . You must take strength from where you can find it , sometimes places , people , events which you d never really noted before. The church is often welcoming and supportive in these times even if you re not spiritual , it will give you a sense of belonging and help share the load. Happy to talk with you .

[Mrs-dod in reply to Nugen]

Thank you very much. I do actually go to church. My priest would be there for me but I think I find it hard asking for help. He is so busy, taking up his time etc. I feel everyone has busy stressful lives and I can't bother people. I can't help but feel like that. An online forum like this is helpful. I just can't believe we are 'here again'. It's always been cancer and now it's the heart...

[Coffeeandwalnut]

I have dilated cardiomyopathy and have had it for 16 years since diagnosed. There are loads of medications and devices that help you lead a ‘normal’ life. I’ve still travelled and done everything I’ve always done tho I have had to make adjustments obviously. It takes a long time to get settled on the right meds but your husband will get there in the end. Xx

[Mrs-dod in reply to Coffeeandwalnut]

Thank you and I wish you the very best x

[Schora1]

so sorry to hear about your husbands health. Heart failure as my niece (a senior cardiology nurse in heart failure) told me recently, is no longer the death sentence it used to be with the advances in modern medication and treatments.

Speak to your husbands cardiologist and or your GP for support. Express your concerns and fears.

I hope this gives you some comfort/help and I hope you all have a lovely Christmas.

[Mrs-dod in reply to Schora1]

Thank you very much. That is helpful to hear x

[Bluehope81]

Is he on a transplant list?

Your story is moving and touching, hope you all the best in the new year.

[Elsabounre]

You may want to speak to his Cardiologist about inserting an ICD...my friend had the same with EF of 12..and grade 3 Cardiomypathy..her EF is now 55 and her heart is nirmal size again..worth a discussion..the Cardio who dealt with my friebd said without the ICD she would not hace survived..she is living normally now...albeit with the UCD in her chest...best of luck

[Mrs-dod in reply to Elsabounre]

Thank you very much x

[BaronFrankenstein]

Speak to your gp about how this is affecting your mental wellbeing and they should be able to direct you to a local me tal health service that can provide you with counselling. The gp may also be able to perhaps answer some questions that you have been ruminating on that are causing distress. Or contact your local cardio rehab team at the hospital where he was treated and speak to them about it.

I think my wide feels rhe same about me after i had a heart attack last week but she hides it from me so as not to stress me out.

[Mrs-dod in reply to BaronFrankenstein]

Yes, I definitely try to hide it as much as possible from my husband. I wish you and your wife the very best. And thank you for your kind words x

[Bluehope81]

Your husband sounds like a such a courageous and strong man, wishing you a great xmas this year.

[Mrs-dod]

I am so sorry to hear this too.It's just so hard isn't it.... I wish you as many happy times as possible in the future. I do hope you and your son are coping as best as you can xx

[Mrs-dod]

Xx

[A246]

Dear Mrs Did, so very sorry to hear about your husband's cancer and heart failure as a result of cancer treatment. I myself was diagnosed with stage 2 acute heart failure in July 23. My treatment so far has been positive. I am now six months in and feeling better. I have been put onto a heart failure drug called entresto three months ago by my cardiologist and it has made a big difference so far, please ask your doctors if your husband is not already on this medication. I have just had another scan awaiting results, but I know I already feel better. It is scary having heart failure, but try to be positive together, take one day at a time. My heart goes out to you both. There are options for heart failure patients. My belief in that gives me great optimism knowing that I have a good treatment and many years left to go back to work and enjoy my life.

[Mrs-dod in reply to A246]

Thank you so much. Sorry I have only just seen this now. I wish you all the very best and thank you for an encouraging message. I hope you continue to feel better in yourself... Best wishes

[A246]

Hi Mrs Did

Thank you for your kind reply and best wishes, very much appreciated. My last scan didn't show any improvement in my condition, however they said my heart is very stable ATM due to entresto and other meds. It did upset me, but positive to drawn is that I am stabilised and hopefully will improve more over time,as I am like your husband newly diagnosed and drugs need more time to work. I hope that you don't mind as I just wanted to share with you. I hope and pray that your husband improves. Thank you.

[Mrs-dod in reply to A246]

Thank you so much xx