Reading the post about dreams it made me think back to my bypass in 2017 and how much I could remember.
I was supposed to be 2nd down on the last Wednesday in May and was prepared, taken my pre op meds and had showered ready. I was eventually told that the first person down had had complications and had taken longer than expected so my op was cancelled.
Luckily they kept me in and on the Thursday I was told my operation would be on the Friday 2nd June and I would be 1st down which meant the op was very likely to go ahead.
On the Friday I again showered took my pre-meds and was taken on the bed to outside the pre-op room where I would be knocked out ready for surgery.
Now I clearly remember lying on a bed outside the pre-op room but have no memory of anything else. I have no memory of post op in a recovery room. I have no recollection of being taken to the ITU or of being extubated. In fact my memories actually started hours after surgery.
In the bed next to me there was a man who had to be restrained as he woke up from the anaesthesia very aggressive so for his safety and welfare he was strapped down.
I count myself very lucky as I was safely in bed when I knew what was happening.
I just wondered what memories others had?
Written by
Heather1957
To view profiles and participate in discussions please or .
I’m afraid I cheated. I asked my husband to bring me a notepad and pen and I wrote down everything that happened to me from the emergency ambulance to my discharge from hospital 8 days later. I remember a lot but not all so I’m glad I wrote it all down. I’m sorry to say it doesn’t make pleasant reading.
Many years ago I had a polyps removed from my nose and went under general to have it done.
I have some vague recollections from the recovery room but I wasn't put under so deeply for that op. I remember asking for a Bacardi and coke when I was in recovery.
On the ward a nurse brought me some booklets about Australia apparently I told her I was going on holiday there the following year (which I was) I have no memory of the conversation!
Hello Heather
I remember been petrified
I went in for 5 pm because of my severe anxiety and agoraphobia they were worried how I would react so I was lucky that I had understanding Consultants and Surgeon who decided that my Husband should stay the whole 9 days incase he was needed
The Surgeon came and saw us both that evening she was lovely Italian with the best accent ever
Next day was nearly as normal as it can be until later that day I had the shower etc
I did not sleep that night even with Husband there I was so afraid but they had given me a pre med even though it had no effect my anxiety was stronger than the pre med !
They had me the first on the list for the next day I think they thought I might try and go if they did not get me down first and to be honest I think they were right with that thought
I then remember the lovely Surgeon greeting me all cheerful telling me not to worry and telling my Husband to hold my hand and then they started playing my favourite music in my ear and I do not even remember anything not even been put to sleep
But ICU that was the strange bit for me I am not sure if they had me heavily sedated or what but I remember my Husband been there and he said he never left even came in through the night but I could not remember it he has told me all this and even that I had a massive panic attack which they fetched him back quick as he had gone for a coffee
It felt like I was in a spaceship really weird , I was in no pain just all over the place in my head I even asked for my mobile because I told them my Husband was going to steal all my money they pretended to give it me and I thought I had phoned the bank and told them he had not took it after all
Next thing I remember was been taken back on the ward and in the side room with my Husband telling him I needed to go home now !
But I was getting out of bed going to the bathroom , sleeping on my side straight away when I was back on the ward and when they said before we discharge you I had to walk up a flight of stairs I could not get up them quick enough !
I was in discomfort but more than that been agoraphobic that was my biggest struggle been away from my home and I remember crying and panicking so much and just saying I need to get out of here and back home
The relief when they told me I could
But I am so grateful to the Surgeon and Consultants for putting all they could in place because they knew my difficulties were so severe it was needed there are some understanding people out there and for once I was lucky and had a great team around me and if I never get that understanding again I shall always remember them
Today my Surgeon still phones to check on me mostly because she worries about how I am holding up with my mental health
I feel such a close bond with her even though I know she will have to let me go soon but I shall always feel that bond and relationship and understanding we had it was special
Sorry this might not be the reply you meant with your question but it is my experience
Hope you are keeping well and you have a few holidays booked for this year x
That was a great read. You can certainly tell a story! I have an Italian cardiologist and he is the kindest sweetest man you can imagine. He used to wear ties with a heart motif stitched into the tie. Depending on which day of the week it was, the colour of the heart might change. How do i know? I know because i asked him of he had other colours! But when i saw him recently, he had an open neck white shirt, no tie, and rolled up sleeves. When i questioned him he said seemed sad when he explained it was current NHS protocol/risk management but that the simple tie was one of the worst things for transfering germs. I guess because ties hardly every get washed. ♥️💙💚🧡💛💗💜.There you go Professor. One for every day of the week!
I suppose you can understand about the hygiene part but it was a nice little touch for him to wear the different colours
I did I must say think I had the best Surgeon even though if she started talking quick I struggled to know what she was saying her accent is so strong but she is lovely
The operation and the stress is bad enough without the anxiety and other MH problems, you did really well to go through with it.
I was told the violent guy next to me is not unusual as people react differently to the anaesthesia. In fact I was listening to conversation between the sister and a patient who had just been brought back to the ward and he was telling her about UFOs. It must be really funny listening to these stories.
Hopefully this positive experience will help if you need to go through this again.
Yes they had quite a few meetings about me maybe good I did not know what was said but they knew it had to be done but were worried because of my MH issues but they came up with a plan and it worked the best that one would and I am grateful even though I would and hope I will never have to go through it again
Seems to be a theme going on here what with me and Sljp0000 thinking we were in Space ships and you had someone on the ward thinking they had seen UFOs makes you wonder what they give us
I also had a lot of support and encouragement from here to with understanding people and again I am grateful as it did help me so much x
My biggest memory from my CABGX3 was lying in Intensive Care (which felt like a spaceship to me) with the ghostly bells of Big Ben chiming and horses hooves clip clopping for the Queen's funeral whilst I was having my chest drains amd femoral artery catheter out. Apart from those sounds there was silence. It felt like I was doomed. A very surreal, chilling experience! Xx
My experience was identical to yours, fortunately. The worst part of the Hospital experience was the dreadful food and all the tubes
Hello you and what an interesting post you have placed before us once again.
I thank you for it and will be interested to see if other answers match up with the ones that you already have.
I have an extremely analytical brain, yes I am somewhere on the great spectrum scale that they all talk about, with OCD heading the pointer in my case.
So what it does is give me is an almost photographic snap shot of my surrounding and I have almost total recall of most moments in my life { good or bad } so you can imagine that I found the whole thing both fascinating and horrific.
Add to that That someone died in the ICU next to me as I witnessed the brutal thing that CPR really is.
I could write pages about it and most of the words would appear negative and distracting from the amazing extension they have all given me to my life.
Don't even start me on seeing the white light and the gentle words I heard encouraging me to step over, that's for another post on another day.
Take care Heather you are a great contributor on here.
I had a very similar experience, but due to my Sleep Apnoea I could not have a pre Med so the journey to the theatre is very clear. It was July 2020 and the hospital was roasting, I remember it getting cooler and cooler as we got closer and thinking that it was at least something pleasant even if I did not make it out the other side.
Once I arrived in pre op I was quickly put under and remember nothing until I was in ICU, much of my experience there is fragmentary due to the opiates, just a few snippets remain such as the surgeon commenting how good my kidneys were, which I found bizarre, and the pain when they took out the drains.
Most memories are of the ward afterwards which appeared to be in chaos due to it being a time when much of the NHS was focused elsewhere. The worst experience was the guy in the bed opposite me getting up in the night shouting and promptly falling down dead, a nurse sounded an alarm and then all hell let loose when the crash team arrived, it still haunts my dreams.
I’ve had 3 open heart surgeries and many other times I’ve been given GA for less serious procedures.
I always remember when they put a mask on my face and ask me to breathe deeply or when I watch them injecting this milky coloured liquid in me. I remember what a nice feeling it is to feel the cold of the liquid and then just all goes black. Last time, after an ablation, I was awaken by the recovery team and I remember very well I was dreaming! Something I didn’t think would be possible on a chemically induced sleep.
Most traumatic experience for me is the time I had in ICU after open heart surgery. I don’t think my brain copes too well with morphine and was paranoid, I was telling my poor parents that every night the staff was killing someone and there was a big conspiracy against patients.
I remember so well being convinced that I was moved every night in different places as I thought the window near my bed was always in a different place. What really strikes me while I’m writing this down is how well I remember being temporarily out of my mind 🤔
All I remember about being on morphine in ITU is pushing that green button when it came on, I wonder now if I misbehaved while under the influence, although hopefully, as you remember I am hopeful I would too.
I hope you are having a break from surgery for now!
My wife and I turned up at the Bristol Heart Institute at 0630 on 26 February 2020 hoping that this would be third time lucky, my operation having been cancelled twice previously.
We had been chatting with another couple, Mike and Linda, who had also arrived earlier than scheduled.
This time, it was to go ahead! But, even as the nurse was shaving me in preparation, she cheerfully informed me that it could be cancelled right up to the last moment if an emergency arose. Thankfully it didn’t , and one of my last pre-op memories was Mike and I being wheeled on trollies to adjacent theatres. Unexpectedly, I was feeling calm and settled.
My next memory was the single point of bright white light. Uh oh, I thought, I’ve heard about this, this doesn’t look good. Fortunately, the point of light immediately expanded out into the brightness of intensive care. I’d made it through.
Intensive care and high dependency unit routines for the next 5 to 6 days weren’t exactly pleasant and I found it almost impossible to sleep, but the staff were incredibly caring, efficient and not afraid to employ humour appropriately.
Looking back, it’s funny now, but the most memorable moment of all was waking up and realising I was in a secret laboratory in the Alps being prepared for a head transplant with the KGB colonel in the next bed. Having decided to go along with it till I could plan my escape, I spent the next few hours complying with all the demands of the fiendish, white coated technicians getting me ready. It was probably at this point that they decided to take me off tramadol and put me on a different painkiller!
After 6 days I was discharged into a world which had completely changed. It was early March 2020…..
All in all, a fantastic experience, for which I will be forever grateful and I’m so, so, glad it turned out to be third time lucky.
Mike lives in Weston-super-Mare and we met up on the first and second anniversaries.
We were supposed to meet up this year as well, but Mike has unfortunately experienced some other health complications, so that was postponed and I’m waiting for him to let me know when he’s OK to meet up again.
Fingers crossed it won’t be that long…
Thanks for your interest… and your invaluable contributions to this forum.
I could actually picture most of the scene there as my brother was rushed into the Bristol Heart Institute (fantastic place) when his aorta exploded back in 2018, he would be one of the emergencies that cancelled planned surgeries.
His wife and I took it in turns to sit with him over 3/4 days in ICU holding his hand as he was in a coma, his bed was opposite the nurses stations. The staff were fantastic.
While some experiences are horrendous I am enjoying reading the drug induced hallucinations some people get.
Thanks all, some people it seems have had some awful experiences but I have enjoyed some of the more bizarre hallucinations.
I have only just come back home after being out and about for Mother's day, I am lucky enough to have my 91 year old mother still with me although she doesn't leave her flat anymore.
My sister gave me the traditional non Mother's day box of Maltesers which I will have to ration myself.
Always a mixed bag for lots of women so I hope whatever your situation it wasn't to bad a day.
"it made me think back to my bypass in 2017 and how much I could remember"
You ask an interesting question.
More than interesting, you're asking something really profound.
The anaesthetics used during open heart surgery render us unconscious, ie we literally have no consciousness. Even during the deepest sleep we're still conscious, we have a sense of the passage of time, we may dream, and we're still processing sensory data.
But for the five hours or so of the operation our hearts don't beat, our lungs don't breathe, we have no pulse, we lay down no memories, we are completely without any consciousness.
In a very real sense we are dead. Dead but with the capacity to be brought back to life.
I've spoken to people who claim to have memories from during an operation. But as far as I understand any memories are from the later period when the operation anaesthetic is being replaced with morphine and the patient is waking up.
You could argue that the five hours or so of the operation constitutes part of our existence, but not part of our lives. We were actually far more "present" in the womb than on the operating table.
I feel privileged to have had such a rare human experience, to have had an intermission in the otherwise unbroken passage of a life!
Whether consciously or unconsciously I don't think about it , mentally I tend to skip over it. I think of before and after but not during.
I had trapped nerves in my left arm and ongoing pain in my chest area and had to go to my GP for pain killers where he proceeded to explain in detail what had been done to me which was the reason for the pains.
Thank goodness for the skills of surgeons to be able to carry out lifesaving surgery.
I do remember the ICU Nurse a young Australian she seemed to be there every time I woke . I remember being told you are still on the ventilator because it took a while to warm your heart after being on the bypass machine. Well after this short conversation which was obviously one sided I promptly removed the ventilator pulling it out totally ! I can remember it made a lot of noise hissing etc. I think I was then subdued for the next 24 hours before being brought round again . That was when I told the Nurse I think you have a water leak I can hear it running all the time, that was when she squeezed my hand and told me it was the Oxygen machine alongside the bed. I did have the experience of someone dying and having CPR I just wonder now after reading other peoples accounts just how common this is. Talking to a fellow patient in HDU he asked me had they tried to drown me with the chocolate coming through the vents in the ceiling , because that's what they had done to him. I do remember he clearly believed it had happened.
Content on HealthUnlocked does not replace the relationship between you and doctors or other healthcare professionals nor the advice you receive from them.
Never delay seeking advice or dialling emergency services because of something that you have read on HealthUnlocked.
they pretended to give it me and I thought I had phoned the bank and told them he had not took it after all 
An Eventful January
ASD Device Closure 22nd March
A new path: 3 days post Aortic Valve and root
Chairs/beds when first home from CABG - opinions and advice very welcome 
Follow up appointments
