feeling like a bad person

[Shoshov]

good evening. i decided today to go out for a walk around local estate. iv been isolating for 10 days and was at breaking point. really missing family visits. i think i met 4 people on route. the thing is i felt guilty for being outdoors. i was getting paranoid as i felt all the cars passing we were staring and putting a hex on me. i know it’s silly but i wasn’t comfortable. anyone else feel like that❤️

[Hidden]

I had my every other day trip out today, and I didn't feel a tinge of regret.

I have to drive to some where as well, live in a hilly area and i'm not supposed to engage with hills. It has now been 2 weeks since I was last in the presence of anyone but my wife, and even she is now 2 days in to a 14 day total isolation period.

We almost came within 75 yards of a bird watcher/ photographer at one point - a tad too close for comort some might think. But the dunshine, fresh air and strong sea breeze done me and my wife the world of good.

How are we supposed to exercise out hearts if we can't have a bit of a walk every now and then? Common sense is what is needed, and as long as we adopting as much of it as we were born with, we're doing nothing wrong.

[Shoshov in reply to Hidden]

that’s good you had the sun. it’s been hiding for a few days here. didn’t feel the need for a walk all week as i was working in the garden. i think it was probably the lack of people around that i really wasn’t expecting. i’ll try again tomorrow. continue to keep well❤️

[Sunnie2day]

I did D1 (Day1) and D2 - I'm walking one time per day around the row of terraces in front of my goat track. Ten times around equals one mile. And those first two days I was getting a feeling I was annoying the curtain twitchers. I live in a lovely little town but we do have some curtain twitchers...they all know I'm recovering from a major wobble and trying to walk for exercise but they were seemingly glaring at me as I made the repeated passes.

So D3 I went out there dressed in joggers, sweatshirt top, trainers - and one of those stretchy terry headbands (to absorb the sweat I haven't managed to work up in over a year, lol!). Walked with my elbows bent to add to the 'I'm on my daily 30 minutes here, people!'.

Got a lot of waves and thumbs-up. Even the curtain twitchers appeared to approve. Today is D4 and again, waves and smiles.

Try wearing jogging kit. Seems to make it clear you're not out there on a jolly! I'm thinking tomorrow I'm going to carry two 2kg dumbbells to get a bit more exercise and throw off the watchers.

[SpiritoftheFloyd in reply to Sunnie2day]

That gave me a laugh - recovering from a major wobble. 😂, perfect description really!

[Shoshov in reply to Sunnie2day]

that’s how i felt. crazy isn’t. good luck with the weights ❤️

[SpiritoftheFloyd]

Seriously wouldn't worry - perhaps you should turn it around, rather than get paranoid as cars pass - wonder why they're all out in their cars!!

I went out for a long walk on Wednesday - normally I walk so far then get a bus back, but as I'm trying to avoid public transport there's a circular walk I can do. It involves 3 parks and a bit of National Trust land connected by road walking. Like Sunnie2Day I go out looking like I'm going for exercise (but don't do the headband bit) so can't be confused with anything else.

Hardly saw anyone the whole 9 miles of walking. Sat down by the Mere in the first park, and after sitting there a few minutes realised that there wasn't a sound - totally silent - can normally hear, people, dogs, cars, aircraft flying overhead (glide path to Liverpool Airport) but nothing, lovely then it starts to get a bit, what can I say, disturbing/unsettling, if you know what I mean, it's just so surreal to be out in the middle of the day amongst silence.

[Sunnie2day in reply to SpiritoftheFloyd]

We live at the bottom of a 'goat track', the row of terraces in along the front of the goat track faces the main road through our little town and usually when I go out to our garden day or night there is traffic sound from the road.

But since Monday night, it's been wonderfully quiet no matter when I go out to the garden. At first it kind of reminded me of the days (and weeks) after 9/11 (I was still living in the US at the time) and that was the surreal part for me - but it didn't take long to lose the sense of surreal, and enjoy the peace instead.

I never did get used to the post-9/11 quiet. When a jet appeared in the sky the first time air space was reopened, several of us stood with our jaws to the floor watching it overhead.

[SpiritoftheFloyd in reply to Sunnie2day]

Yes, it's strange how things that are always there, pretty much don't register - but you notice them when they're not there.

Some friends live in Jersey City - walk down the end of the block - look right and there was WTC - it dominated the skyline in Lower Manhattan especially from over on the New Jersey side and they said that the sudden absence of aircraft was surreal. When I went over 6 months after 9/11 found it very hard to comprehend that those buildings weren't there

[Shoshov in reply to SpiritoftheFloyd]

surreal is a good word

[SpiritoftheFloyd in reply to Shoshov]

it's a very appropriate word for where the world is at the moment.

[stillaboveground in reply to SpiritoftheFloyd]

Where I live there is a cricket field at the back of my house, the amount of dog walkers driving up to the field is unbelievable there are also golfers practicing their swing. groups of young people hanging about, I have lived here for almost 40 years and I have never seen the amount of people walking past my house before, if they meet someone they know some of them will stop to chat to each other, some are in groups. I think I am at risk just being in my garden because people just stop and shout over the garden wall. On the news they say most people are doing their bit and staying in, not in my area they arn't

[Shoshov in reply to stillaboveground]

that’s exactly what happened last week in the park iv been using every day for the last 2 years. it was like day out central. haven’t been back since. that was my rant last week 🤣

[Gail1967]

I’m finding it good to go for a walk. I’m finding people tend to cross the road to avoid being too close but then say hi in a bit of an apologetic way - so it’s not a snub to cross road just an acceptance that we’re all in this together. Stick with it it’s good to get some fresh air - the government guideline is to get exercise at a safe social distance so we should be doing it.

[Shoshov in reply to Gail1967]

thanks gail. i’ll defo go again tomorrow. might drive to park and hope it’s not too busy❤️

[Hidden]

Slightly different situ, but I know how you feel, I came out of Tesco’s today with my trolley and had to walk past the queue waiting to go in. The evil’s I got from folk made me wanna crawl up my own arse.

[Milkfairy Heart Star in reply to Hidden]

Heart disease is invisible and sadly many people make too many judgements without knowing some body's medical history.

We all need more compassion and kindness and not judgement

[Shoshov in reply to Milkfairy]

absolutely ❤️

[Sunnie2day in reply to Milkfairy]

My husband says if he ends up having to go inside a supermarket he's going to pin a piece of paper on his jacket marked 'Shopping for a vulnerable!'. He's just the sort to do it.

Until I got the 'shut-in' notice (came in the post this morning but the cardiologist's secretary telephoned the other day) I was thinking either a big red 'broken heart' patch on my sleeve, or a bell and shout 'Unclean! Make way, unclean!' - can't remember who posted that suggestion the other day here but it did make me smile.

[Shoshov in reply to Sunnie2day]

🤣🤣🤣

[Shoshov in reply to Hidden]

we’re a strange lot🤣

[Sunnie2day in reply to Shoshov]

We're a rare wonderful lot!

[Imin]

Yep! I can relate to this. I felt like a criminal going for my daily walk. Since my girls are off school they came with me the first couple of days but someone “told us off” for being out in a crowd! I now still go for my walk but on my own so the girls are going stir crazy stuck in the house - they can’t wait to get back to school!!

[Shoshov in reply to Imin]

that’s ridiculous. take the kids with you. take care❤️

[gladliz]

As a reply to Sunny Day as well. It was I who posted the 'bell and unclean' suggestion, as we are being made to feel like Lepers. Perhaps the next thing will be painting red crosses on the doors of the affected and a cart being pushed round the streets with a shout of 'Bring out your dead'!

Sorry but I have a somewhat warped sense of humour.

Does anyone else feel they are a magnet for people who have no spatial awareness and insist on standing too close to you in queues. I hate it under normal circumstances but had to ask a couple outside the chemist to move back the other day and I nearly fell over a man in Sainsbury's when I turned round from packing to pay. This was before they had crosses on the floor.