Living Alone after Heart Bypass

[WorriedSonInLaw]

Hi everyone, I am Rob and looking for a little advice!

My Father in Law is 68 and is 3 weeks post CABG x5 and staying with us at the moment, we live approx an hour away from him.

He was in a lot of pain but was recently prescribed co-codamol which is managing the pain fairly well. He isn’t doing much apart from laying in bed or sitting in an armchair, he does however get dressed/washed and goes for 1 short walk a day. He says he feels ‘out of sorts’ and is tired all the time.

He is determined to leave us and go home next week, there is no talking him out of it unfortunately!

My question is ‘is this too soon’? Is there anyone out there that has been in the same situation or anyone who went home alone after having surgery?

Any advice would be great.

Thanks in advance

[Chappychap]

You're a good guy Rob, I hope your father in law appreciates what a fine man his daughter has married!

He should be wearing compression stockings, and will need to wear them for about four weeks. Can he change these himself or get the surgery nurse at his local GP's to change them?

He won't be able to drive for (I seem to remember?) six weeks after the operation, and he'll need his GP's consent on this. Can he manage with shopping and medication collection in the meantime?

His daily walk is critical, he should be building up to a 30 minute brisk walk after six weeks. He needs this walk to get his lungs back in shape after the operation, which has resulted in lots of pockets of micro collapse in his lungs. Can he do this on his own or, for example, would it help for someone to take him to a covered shopping mall to walk in bad weather?

For the first six or eight weeks he shouldn't lift anything heavier than a half filled kettle.

These are just some of the "tests" for whether or not he can manage on his own. Here's the bypass surgery discharge advice from Guy's hospital that will give you some more advice,

guysandstthomas.nhs.uk/reso...

[jimmyq]

My wife took 2 weeks leave to be with me after my bypass op. The first few days she left me and went to work I was frightened in case something happened. That might convince him to stay. It took months for the fear to subside.

[Heather1957]

I guess we are all different.

My experience (although a single by pass) at 60 was I liked my own company.

For the first 2 weeks a good friend moved in with me, but as soon as I was able to climb in the bath for a shower and managed to ‘cook’ (put things in the micro) I was glad to send her home so I could get back to some kind of normality.

I invited my sister and mother up once a week and made them something to eat, my adult niece went for a walk with me every other day and obviously I used family for hospital visits until I could drive again.

For me it meant getting my independence back and starting to get back to normality.

I carried my mobile phone everywhere with me in case anything happened.

In many ways I think you have to listen to the patient and if they want to go home and the doctor sees no reason for this not to happen then I’d let him go.

[Handel]

Hi. You are a good 'un!!

From my hubby's experience, I can say that he wanted to do stuff on his own after three weeks. I went for walks with him mainly because it made me feel better but he didn't have any problems. He too was shattered as he didn't sleep well at all during the night. He was just on paracetamol as he reacted badly to codeine/morphine.

Getting those flipping elasticated socks on and off needs a masters degree so your father in law will need some help with these!!

All I can say is call him regularly (or ask him to call you in the evenings) just so you can see how he's doing.

He'll have a hospital review letter coming in the next few weeks. Make sure he has someone to drive him to the appointment. It's usually at this appointment that he'll be told he can drive again (if he does drive).

All the very best to you all.

xxx

[sandrann]

Good on you..hope you're also looking after yourself too..

I'm now 19months post CABG bypass and my experiences are still fresh in my mind.. I had to wear compression stockings 24/7 for 6weeks..that was until I had my post op appointment with the surgeon.. I wasn't strong enough to put them on or take them off..my hubby was exhausted after that daily routine bless him.. I did need to rest and doze during the day but made sure to do the daily breathing exercises plus the coughing exercises and slowly walked around the house or the garden if weather permitted.

I was too weak to lift anything until about 6/7 weeks after my op and then it was only paper cups..the pottery mugs were even too heavy for me to use.

My mobile phone was constantly with me..gave me reassurance.

We all heal at our own pace and have our own experience as we progress..you may find your father in law will decide to return to your loving home after he's been home for a while..

I wish you all the best and give yourself a pat on the back for being so caring.

Sending you all hugs.

[Janma123]

I understand your concerns but if your father-in-law is used to living alone and being independent he will probably be more comfortable and relaxed at home in his own surroundings (there is nothing like your own bed!)

Can he manage his own medication?

As long as he is able to make himself a cup of tea and has a good supply of ready meals he will be fine!

Does he have a shower rather than a bath he has to get out of?

Does he have good neighbours/ friends who live near him who would be willing to ‘keep an eye out’?

Liaise with his doctors and either the local community nursing team or cardiac nurses to see what support is available.

Best wishes