Tips for supporting my Dad after hear... - British Heart Fou...

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Tips for supporting my Dad after heart bypass

ML51 profile image
ML51
13 Replies

Hi all,

My Dad is having a triple heart bypass next week so I wanted to ask if there’s anything that anyone found particularly useful/ helpful whilst in hospital and for recovery. Also anything I can do to support my mum too would be wonderful.

I’m planning on staying with my mum the week he is at the hospital and I’ve sorted out a rota for us to drive her there and back. I will have to leave their house the week he gets back from surgery (as I am starting IVF treatment) however will try as much as possible to be back and forth in the early weeks to give my mum a break.

Any advice hugely appreciated and thank you in advance 🙂

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ML51
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13 Replies
Lydia_1 profile image
Lydia_1

all I can say is just be you and but there to listen to them. I’ve supported my mum though my uncles surgery and it’s tough.

The community here are brilliant and helped me a lot

ML51 profile image
ML51 in reply to Lydia_1

Thank you! Hope your uncle is doing ok ❤️

Hello :-)

Give him all the reassurance you can even when you feel concerned which you may at times come and ask on here instead but let your Dad see you are confident he is doing well

They will or should tell you what he should and should not do when he gets discharged like coughing exercises pottering about encourage him to do them

Ask him how he feels and tell him you are there if he needs to talk

Let him know he always has your support and how much you care which I know you do but sometimes at times like this we need to hear it more

With each milestone he achieves let him know how well he has done and how far he has come :-)

I wish your Dad all the best with his operation and if you need to ask anything when he has had it just come and ask and I hope you will let us know how he gets on :-) x

ML51 profile image
ML51 in reply to

All really great tips, thank you so much ❤️❤️ will definitely let you know how he gets on! X

Chappychap profile image
Chappychap

Your dad should be given a leaflet when he's discharged, discussing what to do following bypass surgery. Most hospitals use pretty much the same format, here are a couple of examples.

ouh.nhs.uk/patient-guide/le...

lhch.nhs.uk/media/1099/card...

However, your dad may be a bit groggy or sleepy when he first gets home, so make sure you and your mum read through these in detail before hand, so you're prepared and ready to step in.

The NHS also have some good information on care at home following open heart surgery, well worth a read.

nhs.uk/conditions/coronary-...

About six or eight weeks following discharge the hospital should arrange for your dad to attend six sessions of a Cardio Rehab course. This is incredibly useful and will equip your dad with masses of essential information. However, between discharge and the start of Cardio Rehab he's largely on his own, and the single most important thing during this period is that he completes his breathing and walking exercises.

Why is this so important?

It was explained to me by a marvellous cardiac nurse during my bypass surgery that when the chest is opened up for surgery the lungs collapse and remain collapsed for the entire six or seven hour duration of the operation. Fully reflating the lungs is a big task that takes many weeks, but how well the lungs recover will largely determine how your dad feels his recovery is progressing. The crucial role of the lungs is why your dad will have to pass a breathing/lung capacity test a day or two before the surgery. The lungs need to be in reasonably good condition in order to withstand the procedure and make a full recovery.

Trust me, daily walks and completing five or more sets of deep breathing/coughing exercises each day is pretty much the last thing your dad will feel like! I'll be honest, it's uncomfortable bordering on painful. But it really is important as it drives the entire recovery process. Motivate him to dig deep and get this done. It will really help if you're encouraging him and if you're armed with the knowledge as to how it should be done and why it's so important.

So here are some NHS leaflets discussing the breathing/walking exercises.

kentcht.nhs.uk/cardiac-reha...

acprc.org.uk/Data/Publicati...

Good luck!

BlueGreenPink profile image
BlueGreenPink in reply to Chappychap

Can I add just how very useful I have found this post - thank you. My husband had open heart surgery and his aortic valve replaced seven weeks ago and we weren't given much information when we left the hospital. We have largely had to find our own way. This post is invaluable and I will use it loads.

The only points that I would add are if there are practical things that you can organise ahead of family members coming home. The big one for us was getting a special pillow so that sleeping is more comfortable post open heart surgery (my husband would normally sleep on his front or side which you can't for at least 6 weeks). The physio also told us to put chairs on the stairs landing to start with as well (obvious once someone has said). Also, you will need an appointment with the GP within 2 weeks to go through medication and to have a full blood count (we left booking these once we had got home and then found that the surgery had nothing available for 4 weeks).

Finally, you need to be super careful with the pain killers and whether constipation is a side effect. My husband was on codeine and ended up with bad constipation and a catheter. I do think that most people are fine but it is worth knowing up front as it is not the nicest experience.

ML51 profile image
ML51 in reply to BlueGreenPink

I hope your husband is recovering ok ❤️ this might seem like silly question, but do you mean a chair at the top of the stairs on the landing, so he can rest after going up?

And can I ask what pillow you got?

Will definitely keep in mind about the constipation and stock up on prunes etc!

BlueGreenPink profile image
BlueGreenPink in reply to ML51

hi, yes we had a chair at the top of the stairs and we have a small landing half way up where we put another chair.

The pillow is an AviiatoR® Grey Folding Bed Wedge Pillow 7-in-1 Memory Foam Orthopaedic Support. But we bought in a rush so there might be better options out there. We found that it helped to prop his arms up with pillows too (with hindsight I would have asked the physio).

Pears and liquorice are also meant to be good.

Best wishes for a swift return home.

ML51 profile image
ML51 in reply to Chappychap

this is incredibly useful, thank you so much for all of this information- especially the bit about the lungs, it’s really useful to be able to picture it in that way and why the exercises are so important. Will print out the leaflets and for through them with my mum whilst he is in hospital, so we both feel prepared once he comes out. Huge thanks again!

TooManyBuzzards profile image
TooManyBuzzards

from experience of helping my dad after HA, I’d say help your mum get organised with his medication. There’s a lot to remember- before food, with food, morning, evening etc - and it’s even trickier if your dad is sleeping a lot and needs waking to take his pills.

ML51 profile image
ML51 in reply to TooManyBuzzards

that’s a good shout- I might try to put a printed table together so she can tick them off as she gives them to him…

CyclingTime profile image
CyclingTime

If he has had a vein taken from his leg help your mum develop the best technique to get the support stocking on as it's very tight, my wife found it one of the hardest things to do.

Get Strava on his phone and turn on the tracking and alert features. Everyone will freak the first weeks when he goes out to walk on his own but being able to track from wherever they are really helps.

Get a small cushion he can pull to his chest when sleeping and turning in bed in the first six weeks, really helped me.

Make sure he does the early cardio rehab exercises from the booklet it will help a lot later. This is pre the more formal cardio rehab.

Investigate the non/low saturated fats in foods for what is good and bad food.

Try not to be shocked about the total lack of care once discharged from the hospital, it's literally zero. Not even a nurse for one visit

And most importantly relax, if your relaxed it will really help him to be relaxed and recover well 😊

ML51 profile image
ML51

Thanks so much for this! Great tip on strava- my dad is an avid cyclist so always nice to add something that is vaguely connected when he can’t ride!

Will chat to the hospital about the stocking technique- was there anything your wife found useful with this?

And will look into a little cushion too, that’s really good to know!

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