My mum : Hi. I’m new to this site and... - British Heart Fou...

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My mum

Lionheart24 profile image
22 Replies

Hi. I’m new to this site and was just hoping to find some words of positivity and encouragement. My mum is 57 years old and has COPD. She’s due to undergo open heart surgery to replace the mitral valve. Now of course I’m worried sick. I’ve read (stupidly) that the risks and complications are higher in COPD patients. I am terrified even though her consultant has told her that if he didn’t feel she’s well enough for it, he wouldn’t do it. Her lung function has increased from 0.6 to 2.6 within 6 months. She finds it easier to breathe nowadays and is taking care of herself. I think my siblings and I are naturally thinking the worst because she’s our mother, but if anyone who has been in the same situation is reading this, hearing your experiences (hopefully good ones) will give us a little more faith. I just don’t want my mum picking up on my worry.

Thank you!

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22 Replies
MichaelJH profile image
MichaelJHHeart Star

Hello and welcome to the forum! Whilst not having COPD I had other risk factors such as long term diabetes (over hslf-a-century) and PAD (peripheral arterial disease). I discussed this in detail with my final surgeon and felt totally confident in his ability. Yes I had a few issues after but none related to these issues and as I found out not totally uncommon even in the fit(!).

Lionheart24 profile image
Lionheart24 in reply to MichaelJH

Amazing. This is the kind of thing I need to hear right now. Thank you so much.

MichaelJH profile image
MichaelJHHeart Star in reply to Lionheart24

A word of advice - ignore much of the rubbish on Google. Some of the rubbish is posted by fools and charlatans whilst other information is totally out of date. Some people Googled and pasted it on to me but my view was very much stick to what you find on the BHF and NHS websites. And obviously listen carefully what the cardiologist(s) tell you.

BTW a friend's wife had open heart surgery to have a mitral valve replaced and two other valves tepaired on her 70th birthday. Two years on you would not know it - she walks miles (prefers it to the bus), cooks all meals from scratch and does the garden bar the hedges.

Your mum will need support post surgery but I am.sure she will be fine. Whilst it is a major operation for us it is pretty routine to the cardiac surgeons (like calculus is to me).

Lionheart24 profile image
Lionheart24 in reply to MichaelJH

Yeah you’re totally right I need to stay away from google! I’ve read some terrible things but also some really great things, too. Thank you for settling my mind there. I’ve been terrified of attending mums appointments because I’m afraid of what they’re going to say but next time I’m going to go along so I can hear the consultant speak directly. That’s amazing news for your wife’s friend! I hope my mum has the same positive outcome. My siblings and I are totally aware of the care and support my mum will need. I currently live at home with her so I will be taking care of her for as long as she needs. Thank you so much for your kind and positive words. I appreciate it more than you know.

Nathan53 profile image
Nathan53 in reply to Lionheart24

I forgot to say your Mother will need considerable support for a while following discharge from hospital. Does she live alone or with family? By support I am thinking of help to wash and dress perhaps and to help with food etc. The help needed maybe minimal but it depends on her recovery speed and we are all different.

Nathan53 profile image
Nathan53

Hello Lionheart it's natural to feel worried but as Michael says the Consultant wouldn't be contemplating surgery if the risks outweighed the benefits. I had an Aunt who had a successful CABG in her 80's she was not a robust person and although she didn't have COPD she had a long history of smoking and resulting chest problems. She made an amazing recovery after a 2 week stay in hospital. I really think the NHS is amazing at monitoring and getting people with chronic problems over surgery. I am sure after a recovery period your Mother will improve and notice a big improvement after need valve surgery. Keep your cool and be positive.

Lionheart24 profile image
Lionheart24 in reply to Nathan53

Hi Nathan. I need to keep reminding myself that the positives do outweigh the risks but it’s hard when it’s someone who is so special to you. That’s really incredible for your aunt, it’s comforting to know there are people out there older and probably less able than my mum, although is isn’t in great health, her odds could be a lot worse. She was given a 85-90% survival rate so that’s a really good plus. I just need reassuring from time to time when things get a little bit too much. Thank you for taking the time to reply to me, it’s appreciated!

Lionheart24 profile image
Lionheart24 in reply to Lionheart24

Also I live at home with her so I’ll be taking care of her for however long she needs.

Nathan53 profile image
Nathan53 in reply to Lionheart24

What you are doing is amazing Emma, I know she is your lovely Mum and you love her to bits but not everyone gives the committment that you do. Look after yourself and don't try and do everything yourself. Keep in touch and post or message whenever you want.

Lionheart24 profile image
Lionheart24 in reply to Nathan53

Thank you! I’m sure she would do the same for me if I were in her shoes. I just want to make sure she is as safe and as comfortable as possible. I have 5 other siblings so I’m sure they will be round to help. Thank you again!

isobelhannah18 profile image
isobelhannah18

I have no experience of your mum's condition but did have a heart attack 4 months ago and because of circumstances had care from 3 cardiac teams. They were all amazing and I had complete faith in all of them. I think the main thing in your mum's recovery is going to be the fantastic emotional support she's obviously going to get from you. Don't forget to look after yourself!

Lionheart24 profile image
Lionheart24 in reply to isobelhannah18

Thank you so much. I will be sure to take some time out for myself when my siblings are able to help. I hope you are on the mend! X

chrisbattle profile image
chrisbattle

Hey Lionheart

I can't remember the last time google got the weather right!

I don't have the same condition that your mum has, but i trust what her surgeon says.

Good luck to you and your family for the procedure. Let us know how it all goes.

Chris

Lionheart24 profile image
Lionheart24 in reply to chrisbattle

Thank you Chris!

Google is a US based Search Engine that collects as much data as it can on anyone - purely because it can since the USA has few privacy rules unlike the UK. If used more than twice UK users can almost guarantee being bombarded with junk mail and spoof email from the USA - the clue lies in the email address which will usually end in a .com.

I had a mild heart attack at 68 in late May 2018 and open heart surgery 4 June. Now six months on and with the benefit of humans usually forgetting the horrible bits, I am fit and well and will be abiding by the rules and guidelines set out for my recovery. I have no doubts I will be here for some time to come and no one can see a reason for a normal life span - what ever that might be.

As said, your mum - as I did, relied heavily on help because I initially felt so tired and could not even lift a kettle to fill it. Any open heart surgery is radical and significant enough to change lives however the surgeons are experts and their entourage as skilful as is possible to attain. Success outweighs failures as almost insignificant and usually lies in the fitness of the patient before the operation and the willingness of the patient to survive.

Good luck to your mum and feel sure you will have your mum for many years to come. I have said it before that my dad had this surgery but six months later he died of the drink! A Guinness lorry hit him as he was crossing the road.

James

Lionheart24 profile image
Lionheart24 in reply to

Hi there! I’m taking your advice and I’m keeping well away from google! Congratulations on your op. I hope my mum’s goes as smoothly as yours did. Thank you for your advice and for settling my mind.

Emma

Bitez profile image
Bitez

Hi

I have COPD and had a triple bypass 18 months ago , the COPD didn’t cause any problems at all . I am a 66 year old female , who really suffered with my chest as well .So try not to worry x

Lionheart24 profile image
Lionheart24 in reply to Bitez

Your message in particular has made my mum feel so much better about her op. Thank you so much! I’m so happy you had a successful op and hopefully a speedy recovery xx

Lionheart24 profile image
Lionheart24 in reply to Bitez

Hi Bitez, can I just ask how your recovery process went in the hospital with your COPD? X

Bitez profile image
Bitez in reply to Lionheart24

Hi ,the COPD didn’t affect my recovery at all . The immediate days after the bypass , I was really encouraged to cough , which I did , a bit uncomfortable, but it didn’t hurt , also tell your Mum to do the breathing exercises every day , they help . Get your Mum one of those V shaped pillows to hug when she coughs and lies down , or a firm cushion , I really found it a great help .Dont worry your Mum will be fine xxx

brav profile image
brav

You have all my love and best wishes, trust your surgeon. Take care x

Lionheart24 profile image
Lionheart24 in reply to brav

Thank you. You’re all wonderful people. 💗

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