Mum - 81 - Living with Heart Failure

I am slightly puzzled as you mention a leaking heart valve and then a bypass in the same sentence. If she has a problem with a leaking valve they would offer a valve replacement/repair. A bypass is usually for blocked coronary arteries. Furosemide is a diuretic used on congestive heart failure, as well as for liver and kidney issues. If the issue is a single valve there may be a less invasive procedure depending which one, do you know?

I agree with Michael, I think there is more going on with your mum that you understand. Talk with the BHF nurse and also your mum’ GP to get a better understanding of her medical concerns which will place you in a better position to plan for her care.

An occupational therapist might be an idea. They would come and assess your mum’s abilities, your house and organise things such as bath/shower aids, walking aids and can advice on strair lifts depending on where you live. The social work department can organise a bed with special positional functions to aid drainage of excess fluid which could be causing breathlessness and promote restfull sleep by keeping the head of the bed elevated to help prevent breathing difficulties.

Your mum sounds like a character obviously she values her independence which has to be respected but she probably doesn’t realise how concerned you are. Reach out to the support services and get the help you need to make your mum’s twilight years more manageable and your life less stressed.

I commend you for caring for your mum, it is a wonderful thing if you can do it which will bring comfort long after your mum is gone. However, you need to take care of yourself, you will be no good to her if you drive yourself into the ground. Therefore get as much help as you can and apply for a disability badge so that you can take your mum out and about when you have time. Your heart failure nurse in the community or in the clinic can help you with this.

Thank you for you kind words. Sadly, we no longer have the community Heart Failure nurses in the area. They were a great help and Mum knew she could ask them anything when she saw them. We have seen the GP recently and she brought forward the consultant appointment for us. Without the op, it seems there is little else they can do to help. I am not at work today, hence my logging onto the community and I have just had a chat with her but she seems to think that the leaflets she has explain why she feels they way she does. And did not want to anything else. She has agreed to the disability badge though, I've been discussing it with her over the last few weeks, She has also agreed to consider a wheeelchair when we go on holiday. That's a first! As is the stairlift chat today.To be honest, at the previous visit to the consultant, i got the impression that the only thing we can expect as she gets older is that the breathing will worsen. I will monitor over the next few weeks and then I will call the helpline. Mum, as you say is fiercely independent, I had to use all my powers of persuasion to have her agree that living alone was not an option and she always seems to reject my ideas of assistance! Wish me luck! Thanks again.

I was talking to someone about your role in your mother's care. They suggested you ring the Carers Direct Helpline on 0300 123 1053. The helpline is open from 9am-8pm Monday to Friday, and from 11am-4pm at weekends. Worth a try.

Thank you for considering my situation Michael, very kind. I am not a full time carer, I work full time. Do you think they could still help?

Hi all. I contacted the BHF and spoke to a lovely nurse named Ashley. She was so helpful and gave me so so much information. We spoke for ages, probably around 45 minutes. I cannot tell you how helpful and reassuring she was. I know we have some tricky times ahead but I spoke to mum about it and as a result we have a company coming to see us this week about a stair lift. Mum has decided to look into getting a tilting bed. She's agreed for me to purchase a fold up wheelchair and I've applied for a disabled badge! We are also going to monitor her weight and fluid intake more and see if we can get a referral to a heart failure consultant rather than a cardiologist. Thank you again guys for your support. I will let you know how we get on.