Confused after loosing my mum to SADS - British Heart Fou...

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Confused after loosing my mum to SADS

MotherlessDaughter26 profile image

My mum passed away last November at the age of 51 cause of death is Sudden Cardiac Death with a normal heart, im so confused, angry and i just can't understand it. If she was healthy, never drank, smoke and her heart was normal how does she just die?! I'm so broken, im only 26.

Thankyou for reading.

P.s all children have had tests done and we all have normal hearts

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MotherlessDaughter26 profile image
MotherlessDaughter26
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9 Replies
Smarticus profile image
Smarticus

Hi, I'm so sorry for your loss. Please get the help you need to deal with this event and remember to look after yourself. It is not unusual for people to pass like this, a lot of us never had any symptoms prior to our problems, sometimes its luck that we notice, it was in my case. Take care.

IrisCarter profile image
IrisCarter

Hi, I am so sorry that you have lost your Mum at such a young age. I am diagnosed with one of the conditions that causes Sudden Cardiac Death and, like you struggle to understand why. As far as the Drs can tell in my case it is just a random mutation of a gene that means that any kind of stress, alcohol, chocolate and caffeine makes my heart beat in such an irregular way that it is highly likely to stop beating effectively. It is horrible and worldwide causes many thousands of deaths every year, many of those are young children. One of my colleagues went upstairs one evening and found his 16 year old daughter dead from SCD. There are so far very few answers and so we struggle on trying to understand why people who are young and otherwise healthy suddenly die. It is tragic, but know that you are not alone and that we are getting closer to being able to identify and manage these conditions, I am an example of that as I now have an ICD fitted. I was very, very lucky and it is heartbreaking that so many others aren’t. I wish you and your family peace at such a difficult time.

Calliope153 profile image
Calliope153

I am so sorry for your loss. You might like to read this:

cruse.org.uk/get-help/about...

and when you are ready ring the help line - at weekends it is open 10 - 2 p.m. In the week it is available longer hours.

You might also like to make a memory box: a small box in which you can put small things that remind you of your mother or were special to her. Photo, letter, scarf for example. When you open the box each time think of the best memory you have that makes you smile and feel happy you had such a great mum. If your mother had a favourite perfume that is a nice thing to put in the box. I keep a small brooch of my mother's , my sister keeps her wedding ring..

Take care of yourself xx

angel343 profile image
angel343

Hi im so deeply sorry to hear of your very sad loss. Heart problems can be so complex, i was one of the lucky ones but it is a nightmare worrying if it can happen again due to a heart defect. I have just come out of hospital after doctor admitted me on thursday. Life must be very difficult as you had no warning. I myself had a severe heart attack 5 years ago and fortunately made it through. You have done a very good thing by starting to contact others about your grief you will need as much support as you can get at this very sad time. A memory box is a very good idea, pictures of good times you shared also a item or items your mum had which will help you feel close to her. I have heard CRUISE is a very good bereavment support group, Its natural to feel angry you need as many good and understanding friends around you to support you, I hope you get the help and support you need. Thinking of you and your family sending love. Reach out to as many as you can sometimes it can help ease the pain a little. X

Fluffybee profile image
Fluffybee in reply toangel343

Hi

I’m so sorry you’re going through such a horrific time, I completely understand where you’re coming from, my mum died at the age of 42 when I was 14, her heart just stopped, no abnormalities found, went to bed at night and woke up sat up and just sadly died.

Devastating to say the least, I think the not knowing or understanding what happened doesn’t help you to try and take it in and help over time.

My mum had 2 postmortem’s as a cause couldn’t be found.

Her mum had also died about the same age.

It’s indescribable how you feel, the shock, disbelief of how sudden it was, you must feel completely numb.

I have now got a heart condition and it’s constantly on my mind, ‘what if’ soooo pleased your family and you are all ok.

Posting on here really helps get some answers or complete understanding of what you’re going through.

Biggest hugs 🤗

MotherlessDaughter26 profile image
MotherlessDaughter26 in reply toFluffybee

Hi Fluffybee, your words mean so much to me, the exact same happened to my mum, she was talking to my step dad one moment, then he said she was making weird noises, didn't look like she was in pain called an ambulance and that was it, 2 post mortems aswell, no cause was found, her heart then got sent to London for testing they also couldn't find a cause, so they put it down to SADS, its just so confusing how someone just dies with no cause.

Im sorry to hear about your mum, I unfortunately do know how you feel, I hope i can eventually find some sort of closure eventually.

Fluffybee profile image
Fluffybee in reply toMotherlessDaughter26

You will find closure 🤗 I think it’s because there is no actual answers or an actual disease etc to so called blame for it if you know what I mean, to be angry at or learn about.

One thing I’ll always regret is I didn’t go to her funeral, looking back it was not accepting it had happened which caused me no end of psychological problems.

It’s been a long time since she died and I miss her every minute of everyday, there’s something so special about a mum/daughter relationship.

I keep thinking I wonder what she’s think to this and my lice now?

You’ll think that and go through all that bit over time in a fond way, smells of certain flowers or a particular thing she liked brings floods of special memories.

I have days where I’m sad still but also days where I laugh about things she said and did.

Don’t get me wrong it took a while and everyone is different.

Your mum was very special to you and you I’m sure was incredibly proud and special to her.

Do you have a Dad or siblings you can talk to ?

Always up for a chat, anytime 🤗

Fluffybee profile image
Fluffybee in reply toFluffybee

That’s ‘life’ not lice!!

Stobban profile image
Stobban

Yea, There's an old saying '' God takes the ones he loves the most'' and you know, that saying, just might be true. Good luck.

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