Worried about Mum-In-Law

[Mazria]

Hi all. I'm not sure where else to post so hope you don't mind me posting on here. I split from my husband 5 years ago but still have contact with my now ex Mum-In-Law. I think and worry about her every day. She was diagnosed last year with Congestive Heart Failure and was very weak at the time but with medication 'recovered' enabling her to have a better, although not great quality of life. She went from having carers in twice a day to being able to go out and do a bit of shopping herself. My ex has just told me today that she has become very weak again and short on breath and is back to having carers in twice a day. I am so upset and worried that something will happen to her, I know she's 89 years old and can't go on forever. but it doesn't make it any easier. My son ( her grandson ) is 14 years old will be absolutely devastated. I cant stop crying and worrying. My ex has moved on with someone else in his life but he doesn't get much support so I am worried about him to. I'm sorry but I feel totally alone and have no-one else to talk to

[MichaelJH Heart Star]

Talk to your GP - if he cannot help he may be able to refer you for counselling. You will probably find that your son is tougher than you think - we always think of them as our children. With respect to your MIL you and your ex need to keep the situation under review. Although she has carers coming in sometimes 24x7 care in a care/nursing home is more appropriate. I have seen old people turn round in the right home as they are free from the worry they get prone to when nobody is around.

[Mazria in reply to MichaelJH]

Thank you for your reply MichaelJH. She can be stubborn and likes the comfort of her own home so all will be done I think to keep her there for as long as possible! I have been in touch with Age UK by email since my post to try and reach out to them. It's very awkward being an 'outsider' but still wanting to care for them both.

[MichaelJH Heart Star in reply to Mazria]

Around 15 years ago before she went into care I had some issues with my late mother and did not find the two main charities for the elderly that helpful (this is my personal view). A colleague also found this with regards to his mother and an alumnus with his father. Some areas have support groups for the elderly that help with shopping, visiting to prevent loneliness, support and a listening ear, etc. There are also a number of carer support groups and these might prove useful to you.

[Helen_BHF]

Hi Mazria - you're more than welcome to post about whatever is bothering you. I'm sure there's lots of people on this community that are worried for a family member or friend and will know exactly what you're going through.

I'm really sorry to hear that you're feeling this way. I'm sure there's not much I can say that will stop you worrying but if you're feeling really down please do get in touch with our heart helpline. They can be a listening ear if you don't feel you can speak to anyone else.

More details here bhf.org.uk/heart-health/how...

Really hope this helps. Take care.

[Mazria in reply to Helen_BHF]

Thank you so much for your comment Helen. I really appreciate your thoughts.