We're at the beginning of another wee... - Bereavement Care ...

Bereavement Care & Share

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We're at the beginning of another week, have you anything planned to help you through it.

chloe40 profile image
chloe40Administrator
18 Replies

Perhaps something that makes you feel relaxed and at peace, meeting up with friends or a group, (hard as that can be it does help).

Me, I like to keep my mind as busy as possible.

Sending love

Chloe <3

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chloe40 profile image
chloe40
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18 Replies
Caza profile image
Caza

hi Chloe, I’ve been wondering where you are & hoping that your ok.

Health wise this years not been the best for me. I had some bad news about a physical problem that I have so I’m just having to adapt. It isn’t the end of the world but still hard. Also I’m just getting over covid which stopped all my galavanting as I couldn’t stop coughing & was so tired. It stopped me going to a music festival with girlfriends that I was so looking forward to. So I’ve had lots of thinking time which is no good for me so been pretty down.

So this week loads on. Aquafit two sessions booked, I went yesterday, it really picks me up. I played board games with school children yesterday afternoon. They do enjoy it & so do I. I’ve got a community lunch that I help run. Means I’m on my feet all day. I just love it. I look around & see everyone having a good old natter. A lot of them are on their own & don’t leave their houses too often. Drinks with friends & then off on a sea break.

For me I have to keep busy or I go under. I know the future physically doesn’t look good for me but until then I’ll keep busy.

chloe40 profile image
chloe40Administrator in reply to Caza

Hi Caza,

So pleased go hear from you!

I've been in hospital with pneumonia for the 4th time in just over a year, unbelievable! so I'm very sorry that I couldn't get a message to the forum members.

A nurse said to me 'Someone is watching over you' and I really believe that.

I'm so sorry that your health is giving you physical problems, that's a real blow but you're such a positive person generally, that I have no doubt you'll adapt.

Covid again ? I know the constant coughing is exhausting (I'm still coughing like this from the pneumonia) so I've no doubt it has prevented you from your usual activities.

No thinking too much is absolutely a no no, it's so hard to pick yourself up again.

Your having a great time now fitting so much into your daily life, that's great and the children love you. Community lunches are so rewarding, so many lonely people depend on it them for company.

Enjoy your break and take good care of yourself.

Chloe<3

Caza profile image
Caza in reply to chloe40

Thanks Chloe, pneumonia is the worst. I’ve had it a few times now but never ended up in hospital. I did end up in A&E on Christmas Day four yrs ago now. Took a few months to feel back to normal &thats with having a long visit to a hot climate.

You take care big hugs. & that’s a great feeling when a loved one is there looking over you. Hang on to that xx

Turnipgirl profile image
Turnipgirl

Yesterday I had a job interview and had lunch at a Korean restaurant as a treat which I really enjoyed.

Today I have been out on an early walk that I enjoyed and job hunting and another walk as well at lunchtime and I also enjoyed a session of lunchtime learning and I am off swimming as well later on.

Thursday and Friday I have put down for swimming as well for this week.

Now time has passed by I feel being evicted was the best thing that could have happened to me and that it was a good thing getting removed from a place where I was made miserable!

Caza profile image
Caza in reply to Turnipgirl

Feel really chuffed for you. Well done x

Turnipgirl profile image
Turnipgirl in reply to Caza

With getting evicted it wasn't the physical move in itself that bothered me it was the disrespectful manner in which it was handled that did!

Years ago I was renting a place and the landlord had asked everyone there to give him a ring when they had 5 minutes free and I had an idea there was bad news on the way so that I did!

He had explained to everyone how he was retiring and might need to ask everyone there to leave but wasn't sure what he had wanted to have done at that point in time but had wanted to let everyone know in advance that they might have been getting asked to leave in due course which was polite and respectful.

His kids took over the rentals when he retired but I left anyway after I had found a new place giving in my 4 weeks notice to leave.

If they had asked everyone concerned at the place I left back in May to ring them when they had 5 minutes spare as they had bad news that would have been polite and respectful to have spoken to us all personally and said we're sorry but this has happened and explained things to us I wouldn't have felt cross as that's polite!

No what it was that did upset me was the disrespectful way that was handled not moving in itself!

chloe40 profile image
chloe40Administrator in reply to Turnipgirl

Completely agree Turnipgirl

You’re doing so well now, so try and leave the past behind, as difficult as it is. Life is on the up for you and you deserve it<3

Chloe

Turnipgirl profile image
Turnipgirl in reply to chloe40

One of my friends says how letting go takes great strength and he is right as its not an easy thing to do!

The passing of time has helped though.

I do feel the more that time passes by it will be of help to me.

chloe40 profile image
chloe40Administrator

Hi Turnipgirl

It;s great you are so happy and that you are making the most of local activities and walks, there so good for you.

They say (don't know who) that things happen for a reason, and in your case it's been a positive end.

Take care

Chloe<3

Skyp profile image
Skyp

Hi chloe. Like you and many others. I try and keep my mind busy. I am having a purge indoors this week and having a de-clutter. I find this gives me a sense of satisfaction.Tomorrow I plan to sort out wardrobe and bag up things for charity shop. X

chloe40 profile image
chloe40Administrator in reply to Skyp

Hi Skyp

Now that’s something I need to do!

It’s certainly therapeutic and it’s helpful to us, a sense of purpose I feel, good luck and keep busy.

How are you keeping Skyp ?

Chloe

Skyp profile image
Skyp in reply to chloe40

Hi chloe. Just like we said try and keep busy. Tidied garden. And tackled wardrobe..... Found clothes I had forgotten I had some still with price tags 🤣 next plan will be kitchen cupboards 😮

chloe40 profile image
chloe40Administrator in reply to Skyp

Wow, you are having a clear out, I get the clothes with price tags still on, terrible I am x

Kitchen cupboards are my pet hate ugh! you'd have to pay me to do this job.

Enjoy yourself <3

Caza profile image
Caza in reply to Skyp

I find it really hard to do this.

Can I ask whether you’ve managed to let go of your lost loved ones things? Every now & again I set out determined to let go of past loved ones things that are just gathering dust but it makes me so sad. I did look through all the photos the other month intending to let most of them go. I asked my family if they wanted them especially the ones of their departed sister. They all answered no. They said it was too painful to look at them. Which I find sad. I couldn’t do it, I couldn’t just throw them away. So I’ve boxed them up & put them in the garage for now.

I’m a real lover of books & had hundreds. I could pick up one of my books & tell where I was when I read it. My life in books. Two months ago I let them all go to a man who was opening a secondhand book shop. It felt good it was time. Not sure about the pics though!! & don’t get me onto clothes 🤦‍♀️

chloe40 profile image
chloe40Administrator in reply to Caza

Hi Caza

Well, it was an awful long time before I even gave away a new really thick jacket to a poor man on the streets, I knew my Dad would approve though, but I'd been hanging onto for a long time. Funny, I had no qualms about it, but I couldn't bring myself to give away his cap or ring! Still have a few bits even now.

I have nothing of my Mums, bar a ring she gave me a few years ago, she wanted me to have before the vultures had it after she died. Not even offered anything, hmm... this has got me thinking now.

Chloe <3

Skyp profile image
Skyp in reply to Caza

Hi caza I typed you a reply but I think I deleted before sending (I'm hopeless)I really should take up reading books. Instead of watching soaps 😁

My father passed 40 years ago. I still have baccy tin and ties. My lovely mum passed 10 years ago. I still have a lot of her things. There is no right or wrong time limit. We will know when time is right. I miss her so very very much. And my sister less then 2 years ago. Well my wardrobe..... Gosh I had clothes I forgotten I had bought. Some still with labels on 🤣it's amazing what you forgotten you have got. Have a sort through yours. Bet you will find things you have forgotten about 👍 xx

Caza profile image
Caza

I think you know when you’re ready. I gave my daughters best friend, her necklace. We’d bought it for her 18th & her friend wore it on her wedding day. Of course had she of been alive she would’ve been her bridesmaid. I couldn’t bring myself to give it to her on that day but I did soon after. I was ready & have no qualms. It made her cry but in a good way.

My mum left all her jewellery to me coz I had the daughter. Then my daughter died & then I was going to share it with my sister but she died soon after. I really must get round to sharing it out. I have given my eldest nephew a much loved bracelet of hers & he was thrilled. When my sister died I wanted nothing but I was given a tennis bracelet, basically a gold band studded with diamonds. I didn’t want it. So I had it melted down & remade using the diamonds into necklaces for her granddaughters & mine. Now I’m left with my mums my cousin my daughters & mine Can’t wear it all must sort it out really.

I think your dad would of been really proud of you Chloe x

chloe40 profile image
chloe40Administrator in reply to Caza

Yes, I agree Caza

It was a massive step to give your daughters necklace to her best friend, but you knew she would cherish it and that's what matters.

What a dilemma for you but I'm sure you'll make the right decisions.

Aww, thanks Caza I think he would :-)

<3

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