Hi, I'm new here. It all sucks a bit doesn't it!

[Ronnietheblonde]

In July 2020 I lost my Nan. She had a stroke and went to hospital, then a palliative nursing home. We couldn't go an visit because of stupid Covid. Only my Grandad could go, once a day, for an hour. She had 4 married sons, 4 grandchildren and 3 great grandchildren. She passed alone. Before that my Grandad, without a complaint, went into full lockdown with her in her advanced stages of Alzheimer's. He never grumbled or complained, he loved her and dealt with it all alone. Having to convince her daily that she was exactly where she should be and he was her husband.

In December 2020 I lost my Uncle suddenly to a heart attack. He was 58. He is my Grandads son. His wife, my Aunt, had Covid at the time. He thought his chest pains were Covid so didn't seek any further medical assistance. He was horribly and devastatingly wrong. We could not comfort or consol my Aunt physically for 14 days. She had to sit alone in her house where he passed away. Her daughter and the rest of us taking it in turns to sit outside in the British winter weather on her doorstep. We had a very small funeral for him in the January and no wake as stupid Covid restrictions wouldn't allow.

In March 2022 my Nan-in-Law got very poorly and was taken to hospital. She had a irreversible bacterial infection that they could not stop or remove. She had to slowly fade away and be made comfortable. She lived alone and we could not see her during lockdown at all.

In August 2022, my Grandad, who was still smiling after the horrible losses he had suffered, still enjoying seeing the rest of his family, still independent and making plans, he went out to teh shops and had a horrific fall backwards. The resulting brain injuries meant we lost him to.

4 losses in 2 years, and so much time stolen by stupid covid.

And because the Grandparents we have lost were the last, so with them go the family homes, the places we went to as children when we were sick from school, or on school holidays. The second homes where we spent Christmas and celebrated births and birthdays. 2 places that were so familiar to us, but we can never visit again.

How? How do you deal with this much change, this much loss, both of loved ones and safe havens.

I feel sad everyday, I feel so very angry about Covid and the time it stole from us, I feel regret that the choices i made to try and keep my family safe during lockdown so they lived longer and would stick around for a while more ended up being redundant! All the crumblies just shuffled off anyway! What was the point! I want my time with them back... I want nan hugs and grandad shaking his jowls at me for saying something ridiculous!

I want for my Uncle to not know about Covid and think his chest pains are something to be more concerned about!!!

sad and angry...

[LilyAnnepuppy]

Of course you’re sad and angry. You’ve been through so much loss. But it’s good you shared your story, so we can let you know you’re not alone.

[Ronnietheblonde in reply to LilyAnnepuppy]

thank you LilyAnnepuppy. I often feel quite overwhelmed, I felt better after I wrote it all down and had a good cry. You all seem so supportive, it felt like a good space to get it out. thank you x

[chloe40 Administrator]

Hi Ronnietheblonde

Welcome to our Community we're very pleased you've joined us.

What an awfully sad experience you've had, I'm so sorry!

We have a number of members that have been through a similar experience, so you've come to the right place for support.

You'll find our members hugely supportive.

Chloe <3

[Ronnietheblonde in reply to chloe40]

thanks chloe40 x

[kenster1 Volunteer]

hi and welcome to you sorry to hear of your losses and a difficult few years. lots of what you say resembles my situation as my aunt died alone with covid and she wasn`t allowed visitors bar one and that was one of her sisters. same thing near enough about the house my aunt lived at my dads house but he got ill and died before my aunt luckily my niece managed to keep the house but feels strange that I don`t go over anymore. never had grandparents myself but sounds like you loved them dearly and that can be of some comfort to you. glad your here god bless you and all your loved ones who sadly passed.

[Ronnietheblonde in reply to kenster1]

thank you kenster1. Sorry for your losses, Covid really was such an evil thing, taking far too much from us all. Loved ones, time, presence and human contact when it's most needed.

It's an odd feeling about losing the houses to. It's comofrting to know that someone else gets it, understands how something that is just bricks can be grieved over.

Thank you x