BASHH
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Living with genital herpes type 1

I am 23 years old and Female. I was diagnosed earlier this year with the genital herpes virus but wasn't tested to see what type I had. I recently had another outbreak and got tested positive for HSV1. The lady at the sexual health clinic really put my mind at ease and explained about how common it is and that I will still be able to date again and find someone who accepts me for me despite having herpes. But recently I am just feeling so dirty and disgusted about it. I think I may be having another outbreak. I have just finished my monthly cycle, have recently had a urine infection which took 2 types of antibiotics to clear up, then because I was taking antibiotics I also got thrush to top it off! I have also been really stressed recently and I think all of this is bringing on another outbreak. I am currently talking to a guy that I have known for a little while, although I do not think he likes me in "that" way. But it has made me really worry about liking someone again and how I'm ever going to tell them about it. I just feel like I should stay single forever because nobody will ever want me again after I tell them. I am so scared to get close to anyone and then end up hurt when they walk away from me, because I tend to really fall for people if I like them. How did everyone else bring up the subject? And what facts are most important to tell them and to put their mind at ease. I know that it is much more common than people think, but feel like the stigma around it will force a new guy to not believe me and just walk away before I've even had a chance to tell them the facts. Any advice is greatly appreciate.

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Hsv-1 is more like cold sores on the mouth, Hsv-2 is more genital herpes but hsv-1 can still be passed to the genitals from oral sex. I had to tell my current partner that I had it and because it was a new relationship for us I was so scared. It actually turned out fine! I told him how common it was and how people look at it as a skin irritation. As long as they understand it can be passed on whilst having outbreaks and just to avoid sex at that time. I would also mention that cold sores are herpes as some people might not even think of a cold sore as herpes. there is medication out there to stop outbreaks which is useful! I think any person would appreciate your honesty and if they like you, it shouldn't bother them, most people find their partners aren't bothered by it! Don't let it get you down, there are people out there that will understand and you never know, they too may have had a cold sore in the past!

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Hi... I see you've already had some replies, so I'll try not to duplicate things.

Firstly, stress is one of the most likely things to bring on an attack. I have had this for 40 years and often get an outbreak monthly- so I can appreciate how you are feeling about things.... you're certainly not alone. Eating healthily will keep up your immune system, getting enough sleep daily and some regular exercise will help both stress and outbreaks.

You may find that over a period of time the outbreaks lessen.. I do hope so. But be aware that the blisters may crop up in other places as the virus can travel.

There is a website which I found was very informative and understanding the why's and wherefores will help put your mind at rest and also to explain to someone else about it when the time comes... that's if you have to.... they might already be very aware of it, or even be a sufferer themselves.

hva.org.uk

I'll be honest with you, some people will walk away... through ignorance, but if that happens they probably wouldn't have been a stayer anyway...you deserve better than that.... so just take relationships a bit slower.

Take care

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