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Ex has passed me chlamydia awaiting further tests as he may have passed me other STI's!

Hi Everyone,

So I got into a new relationship this year (I was clean, wasn't carrying any STI's the last time I had unprotected sex was in January 2016 and I was tested around March 2016 and October 2016 and all tests were negative so I know I was negative. I hadn't had unprotected sex this year either). Anyway I started seeing a new guy this year we were having protected sex (I rarely have unprotected sex due to the fear of catching an STI), we had unprotected sex ONCE around end of July this year. He told me he was clean I asked repeatedly and he confirmed I had nothing to worry about and he was clean.

We broke up and I got tested I tested positive for Chlamydia! I was soo shocked I have never had an STI felt so disgusted and upset. My ex had lied to me. I approached him about this and he pinned it on me and became very verbally abusive and told me it was me and that I had it to begin with (I have copy of all my historic tests which have always been negative). I told my ex to drop the act and come clean and tell me what else he has. The responses I have received from him clearly show he doesn't care and from what I can gather he knew he's positive and has intentionally passed me Chlamydia. He told me the last time he had unprotected sex was with his ex in 2015! How could a person be carrying Chlamydia and not be treated for it? I have begged him to tell me what else he has and he is being a complete jerk about it. I have this feeling he may also have HIV I am sooooooo worried now, I can't sleep, I'm awaiting my test results. I'm so shocked at how disgusting my ex has turned out to be how can someone sabotage someone's medical health like this!! I have no idea what I'm going to do if I turn out to be HIV positive now I honestly see it as a death sentence and have no idea how I'll survive. I just wish I could go back in time and not get together with my ex! The stress this stupid short lived relationship has caused is unbelievable it wasn't worth it.

Any words of support would be appreciate!



3 Replies

*sorry I meant we had unprotected sex once around end of June this year.


Fizzt, The positive thing here is that you have gotten tested again. HIV testing can be done a month after you had the unprotected sex so hopefully you will have an answer for that really soon. Waiting for results is the hardest part. As for chlamydia you will be offered treatment and hopefully clear that up. I'm sorry you are going through this.

So many people have chanced it and had unprotected sex for a whole host of reasons with partners they've been with a short or long time with. I admit to having done so and the worry after, that I put myself at risk weighs heavily until sexual health testing results come back. There is too much stigma about having STI's so many people have had them they just don't talk about it. HIV is a hard illness to live with but we are in a country where meds mean that it isn't the death sentence it might have been back when treatment was in its infancy. My friend has it and she is living a full and happy life and has had two HIV negative children with her husband.

If you can try and be kind to yourself. Once you get your results you can get the support and treatment you need and I'm certain you'll be vigilant with protection following this experience.

As for your ex... you're better off with him out the picture.


Thanks for your reply.

These last few 2-3 weeks I have been overworking at work been working 60 odd hours to distract myself, my eating has gone horrendous I overthink at night. I'm exhausted. The first blood sample I gave couldn't be used due to the blood becoming haemolysed, the second blood sample wasn't enough! So now need to give a third sample. I regret this all the worrying and potential possibilities wasn't worth it.

Oh wow your friend got very lucky.

With the Chlamydia I didn't really get any symptoms that's probably due to the fact It was diagnosed really quick and I got treatment for it literally the next day. I've taken the 2 tablets last week. I've been reading up on other STI's I don't seem to have any symptoms. I'd read other forums and many people who caught other STIs unfortunately got symptoms within a month of being exposed.

I definitely will be extra vigilant, I genuinely don't want sex for ages now. My ex is gone I tried asking him one last time to come clean and just let me know what other STI's he may have as I can't sleep and so worried he was just verbally abusive.


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